I AM--Lesson Nine, I AM Your Fame: A Set Up for a Show Up

This week's lesson from Lisa at The Preacher's Wife is absolutely amazing. The scripture reading is Exodus 5:1-7:7. Hop on over to her site for the commentary. Here are my answers to the discussion questions.



Discussion Questions:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself on how often your conversation is seasoned with the works of the Lord on your behalf? If you speak very little of Him, is there a reason you know of? If you speak often, how do people respond?



I'd say that I'd rate myself about an 8. Talking about God in my life is so natural to me, I don't even realize I'm doing it at times. But I do get responses to my "God talk." I think some people around me (in particular a few taxi drivers who listen to me and the girls regularly) think I'm just some kind of fanatic. Some friends have expressed that they wish they could talk about what God is doing as naturally as I do (I, of course, tell them they can!). Others are more than willing to reciprocate with what God is doing in their life. Quite a varied response.


2. Have you experienced a Set Up for a Show Up when you were uncertain whether the situation was the chastisement of the Lord or a temptation of Satan?



I'm sure I have experienced this, but honestly nothing specific is coming to mind. So many of the times that God has displayed His wonders in my life, it was brought on by my stupidity or disobedience and He showed up anyway to fix it. Thank God for mercy. I have been an actor in a Set up to Show up in a friend's life. It was/is definitely God moving and setting things up to show His glory. Unfortunately that friend just doesn't want to see that it is God. I still stand hopeful and prayerful waiting for the outcome. (I wonder if other's could say that about my life, that they see God setting it up but I'm missing it? something more to think about)


3. Have you ever or are you now experiencing any Job trials where you can still not identify any wrong-doing on your part?



I have in the past walked a path that, even years later, I see no wrong-doing on my part to start the trial. Unfortunately, my response was not very Job-like and I may have had to endure the trial longer than was really necessary. But God showed Himself faithful through it and it was a tremendous faith-builder in the long run.


4. Apply this principle: How can my response make my God famous? Will obedience result in my sanctification and God's Glory?



How can my response make my God famous? People watch us. They notice when we respond with grace and mercy, especially in disgraceful and unmerciful circumstances. When I respond as God would have me respond and give Him the credit for allowing me to respond like that, people take notice. The glory comes when I say "I do it because of God" and allow people to see Him shine instead of me cope.

Will obedience result in my sanctification and God's glory? I believe yes. We have to be careful not to act as if our obedience gets us to heaven--that is only through the blood of Jesus. But when I choose to obey, it makes me more like Jesus (which is the core of what sanctification means to me). And if I am more like Jesus, I am pointing to the Father and therefore God is getting the glory.


5. Does the origin of our affliction matter in view of the fame God can gain from it?


I think the origin of our affliction brings different kinds of fame for God. I believe that when people see us cope and give God glory during a perceived unjust circumstance they take more notice. They are able to see grace under pressure. They are able to see peace that passes understanding. And as they think, "I couldn't bear that" and we tell them "neither can we but God can" they get a picture of God's power and might. And that spreads the renown of His name.

However, when the source of our affliction is our own sinfulness people identify differently. They know that they fail. When they see us fail and see God deliver us from the circumstance of our failure (or through the circumstances in some cases) they can resonate with wanting that in their life. Therefore the fame of His compassion and His grace and His mercy are spread.

Different afflictions show the different characteristics of God--but all spread His glory.



Hope you enjoy this week's study! Thank you Lisa!

This post is for the birds

or at least about the birds (and a little about God's goodness).

We are blessed to live on an estate/neighbourhood that has three little man-made lakes. In fact as I sit and type this post I am staring out the window at the lake across our little street. This year we have lots and lots of water fowl who have babies. It is so much fun! There was a Mallard family that I was unable to get pics of. Then, two families of Canadian Geese.
(here is one of the families--yes they think they own the neighbourhood)
Then the mama swan hatched two eggs:

Then another set of ducklings:

And then another family of geese moved in but I can't find any of German's pics of them so they are probably still on his camera. We also have a baby coot--a black fuzz ball--bouncing around but mama won't let me anywhere near. The girls have been thrilled because they have watched the process from eggs to babies to changing feathers as they grow. We walk almost every evening around the lakes so they can take pictures with their Fisher Price digital cameras (great little cameras for kids). The geese and swans often come into our front garden to eat, sleep and do other business. They are the messiest birds! (Maria I don't know how you managed hatching ducklings and getting them a start in life!)

As wonderful as the water fowl are, I was not satisfied. Early in the year we had a peahen visiting us regularly in the back garden. I had not seen her in a long while. Last Thursday morning I was telling my prayer partner that I would really love to have peachicks. I thought it would be so cool to see the little ones. That very afternoon, the gas man came to read the meter. As I let him out back to get the reading, in the midst of a gale of wind and rain, I saw this on our slide:

I wasn't sure, but I thought, maybe it was a peachick because of the top knot. I prayed that I'd get another chance to see him. I kept an eye out, but of course was not watching when mom came and took him home. The next evening we were eating dinner outside and the peahen and four chicks briefly hopped on the roof of the garage next door. God is so good! I got to see my peachicks. Then Monday, she brought them to eat in our garden.

If you look closely you will see that there are five chicks. She brought them right up to the window. At some point, the girls must have scared her because she gathered them all up under her. But one was way to curious and kept peeking out.

It is such a blessing to see God's creation up close. The girls are delighting in watching them (in fact that is what they are doing as I write this post). They are learning about how a mama bird cares for her babies. We are blessed. And I just wanted to share the pictures with you. Thank you for indulging me.

IOW--Praying for Everything

I love to listen to my children pray. Flower is just learning to say 'amen' (often loudly as the preacher prays, good thing she is cute). Jewel is really learning the power of prayer. And, she prays for everything:
...she prays for the baby ducks to not be afraid in the wind
...she prays that her daddy will have 'good meetings' at work
...she prays for 'lovely day' at school
...she prays for Flower to 'not pee on the floor' (ok mommy prays this too but not aloud!)
...she prays that we can go for a walk or to the park
Whatever she thinks about is what she prays. And it makes her mommy smile. I smile even more when she sees God's hand and gives him credit. She thanks Him when we were able to walk, or the wind stops, or Flower has a good day. I do encourage her to pray (we have prayer as we start school and before bed and at meals), but I don't necessarily teach her what to say. The thing that amazes me is how much more she prays for now that she sees God answering prayers. What used to be a 'good day of school' one-liner now is a run on sentence of thanks and petition. The more she prays, the more she wants to pray.

"When there is little awareness of real need there is little real prayer."
~ Donald S. Whitney ~
Spiritual Disciplines For the Christian Life

I want to be more like that. I want to see God at work in the little things I've prayed. I believe that the more we see Him in the little things the more He reveals to us. It's true in my life. If I am breezing through life praying quick little surface prayers, He will often answer them but that is where the process ends. But if I am spending concentrated time in prayer He will bring to mind more and more things that I need to bring to Him in prayer. The more focused I am on praying the more aware I am of the needs around me. I become less self-focused and am therefore other-focused. If I am focusing on others I will notice if someone is not making eye contact, is downcast or anxious--needs to bring to the Father. If my eyes are turned upward and outward, I will see God at work in the greater world. And I want to be a part of what He is accomplishing. Often my part is prayer. How great a privilege! I don't want to take it for granted.

At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. Matthew 11:25-26

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4

Father, help me approach you in prayer as a child. Help me delight in all that you do around me. Make me unashamed to ask for anything that you bring to my heart and mind. Draw me to Yourself in quiet times of prayer where you can reveal the needs around me. Make me sensitive to people to look past the surface and to see the needs. And give me courage to not only pray for peoples' needs but to be a minster of You in their lives. Broaden my perspective to see community and world needs. May I never lose sight of how much You love the whole world, and may that be a prayer burden on my heart. Thank you for teaching me through my children. Bless them today and grow them into women of prayer as well. In Jesus' precious and Holy name...Amen.

Our hostess this week is Laurel Wreath. Please follow the link to see what "others" are saying this week. You are sure to be blessed!

Defining Biblical Marriage

Christine over at Fruit in Season hosts an awesome Monday meme called Marriage Monday that I have yet to actually participate. I find Monday a difficult day to blog for some reason. Right now she is leading a 30 day challenge to honor our husbands. Again, awesome idea and I'm praying along with everyone but not participating. (I've been on a 6 month challenge to respect my husband and the results have been amazing. But I haven't felt comfortable blogging much about it since German is so private. Maybe someday.) Anyway, a couple of weeks back, Marriage Monday was about traditional or comtemporary marriage, what is a biblical marriage, etc. And my wheels have been spinning. I would definitely call my marriage traditional (sahm while husband works) and I would pray that it is a Biblical marriage, but I hadn't really been able to articulate what that meant since it really is my only framework for looking at marriage.

Then, Monday happened. And I was in my quilt group which is made up of 15 ladies, about half attend church and half have no church or God interest at all. The conversation was enlightening and I found my difference between a non-Biblical traditional marriage and a Biblical traditional marriage. Pretty much everyone in the room would say their marriage was traditional. In the group there are 5 expats including myself. The other 4 are preparing to return to the US. Their husbands are all looking for their next assignment and a few have been to interviews and check out potential new homes. Here was the discussion:
S: We really don't have a clue where will end up.
G: Well we aren't sure either. Place I is definitely a no, but Place H, Place S or Place C are still possibilities.
S: I'd never go to Place H.
G: We actually liked it. I don't care where we go as long as hubby is happy.
S: I want him to be happy too, but we wouldn't be happy there.
G: What if that is where the only job is?
S: Then he can be happy there without me because I'm going to Place S.

I wasn't sure how to even respond. I have definitely had input into every place that we have moved (i.e. I've said what I like and what I haven't liked) but I've never said "I'll be in x". I don't make that decision, German does. I don't have an equal vote. And I certainly don't have veto power. It is his career, and he gets to make that decision. But I realized that for me it goes deeper than that (and this is how I'd define a Biblical marriage): German will be held accountable for how he led this family and cared for this family before God, therefore he gets to make those decisions. Biblically the husband is given the leadership role and will be judged accordingly. I will be held accountable for how I followed German's lead and served God with the talents He has given me. Part of my job is to trust that German is following God's lead and as long as where he is leading is not against God's word I'm to go. (Although I have told German and God that if the call is ever to the Middle East, Someone is going to have to write it on the wall so I'm sure.) For me a Biblical marriage is each person fulfilling the role of husband and wife as laid out in Scripture. I find that incredibly freeing, not limiting. I am content to follow where he leads, and spend my energy doing the things I am called to do (like prepare the girls for whatever is next, teach them consistently, encourage and support German, etc). I am so thankful I am not like my friend "S" who has already decided where the job cannot take her. I wonder what blessings she may have missed, totally unaware. I don't want to be a stopper to the blessings God wants to pour out.

Last year when German decided to resign his job before we had a new job, I was surprised how many people commented on my "letting" him do that. I didn't "let" him. I followed him and I trusted him and God, but the decision was his. I am so thankful for that! We would have missed a tremendous blessing if we had played it safe. Much of the testimony of God's faithfulness would have been lost. And German's absolute and unwavering faith in the God who led him would have been negated if his wife had "let" him follow God. I believe that he will receive a blessing for stepping out in faith (more than we have already received here). I believe my blessing comes from following and supporting even if in my head occassionally I was saying God this is scary. God rewards the faithfulness of His children. I'm so glad I didn't stop God's blessings poured out on my husband. And I am thrilled how much God taught me about being a respectful wife during that time.

So how about you? How would you define your marriage? How does that play out practically in the everyday of your life? How would you like it be different? I'd love to hear your thoughts as we grow together.

Thank you Christine for getting my thought wheels turning.

I AM--Lesson Eight, Instrument of Wonders

Yay! Lisa's back! I have missed this study the last couple of weeks, but I'm glad Lisa had a good time away with her family.



Here are this week's discussion quesitons. For the full discussion, please visit The Preacher's Wife.



1. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to 'go back' to a place of shame or ridicule? How did that make you feel?

Oh, yes, many times I've had to "go back" to the point of shame or ridicule in order to see it from God's perspective and let Him heal it. Sometimes it is a virtual going back--revisiting the feeling and emotions. Other times I have had to physically go back to the place or the people who were present (or even causing the ridicule). Neither is easy. I'd say the overall feeling in those times was uneasiness, ineffectiveness and that of being small. But at that time God has always shown me His sufficiency, His effectiveness and His greatness.



2. Is there any circumstance in your life that still has you running for cover? Share if you feel comfortable.

I wouldn't say I'm running for cover. There are situations that I am more acutely aware of needing God's armor because they are not going to be easy or pleasant. I feel that is just part of God's teaching me to be more aware and more prepared.



3. When is the last time you felt like an overcomer?

I've been feeling like an overcomer a lot these days. I am putting to rest some nagging thoughts regarding a friend. I am seeing God reveal Himself in my marriage as I learn to respect more and talk less. My diet is more and more under God's control--and the weight is coming off. I am becoming more the parent I want to be and not allowing my childhood to encroach as often. God is blessing me. He is soooo good!



4. If you have not yet taken the serpent by the tail, are you willing to stop running, take hold and trust God to transform it into a tool for wonders?

I believe I am allowing God to transform my serpents into tools of wonder. It is so amazing to see the results!



5. I would like for you to write down this statement based on 1 John 2:14 somewhere you will see it often this week: "I am strong, the Word of God abides in me, and I have overcome the evil one." Memorize it. Say it over and over until you believe it. Will you do this?? Most of the time, there are no right or wrong answers, but on this one, I'm expecting a 'yes'!

well....if you insist ;) I did a study of 1 John last year that spoke volumes to me. So, yes, I'll memorize it!



Thank you all for visiting! Thank you Lisa for teaching us so much through this study. Bless you!

IOW--Lonely or Just Alone?

"As Christians, we are called to convert our loneliness into solitude. We are called to experience our aloneness not as a wound but as a gift--as God's gift--so that in our aloneness we might discover how deeply we are loved by God."

~ Henri Nouwen ~

I am an introvert. I draw my energy from alone time. I often find being with people draining and overpowering. I withdraw to recharge.

As a kid that need came out as crippling shyness. It caused me to not engage people at all. I did not understand the balance. So, often, I found myself lonely, feeling left out and resenting the kids that could easily make friends. For this child aloneness was not a gift, it was a burden. My family lived 10 miles from my nearest friend, so looking back it probably was a gift that I did not *need* to be around friends constantly since I could not, but I needed to learn how to be a friend. Oh, I made it work for me. I buried myself in books and writing and studying. I dreamed big dreams. I became an independent thinker. But I missed out on the pure joy of sharing my life with a playmate.

As a young adult going away to university, that need for aloneness began to be a gift. I was in a great group of Christians on campus that emphasized and taught about being alone with Jesus. The being alone part came easy to me, so the addition of using that to develop my relationship with my Lord was refreshing. I was beginning to find a balance--developing a core group of Christian friends while being able to retreat into myself often. I still chose not to be involved in lots of the campus activities--shyness kept me away. But the benefit was time to study, lol. God honored that time, and began to really teach me that He had made me to need solitude. So I was able to see the gift.

As I've gotten older, the solitude has been more and more of a gift. Since we have moved a few times, that ability to be alone has made the transitions easier. I am able to ease into relationships. But I am comfortable when it is just God and me, so I carry that with me. What many people call independence is actually a contentment with God. That is not to say that I don't get lonely, I do. Several months ago I went through a desperately lonely time here. I wanted a friend with whom I could share where God was working, what God was doing. And, I just wanted someone I could *hang out* with and have a good time. It was during that time that I had some serious confrontations with God. I was honest that I loved my time with Him, but I really wanted a flesh and blood pal as well. I poured out my need to Him and in return He helped me realign the balance. He showed me that I was lonely because I was chasing people rather than chasing Him. He blessed my need for friends to spend time with. But none of those relationships are as deep as I begged Him to give me. Instead, I have gone to a deeper level of sharing with Him. In the aloneness and in the honesty, He gave me the intimacy I was so desiring. That, for me, is the heart of Henri Nouwen's quote. It is when I am alone with God that I am most honest with Him. And when I am honest with Him, He is able to give me the desires of my heart; because in that time I learn that my heart's desire is just more of Him.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:3-6

Aloneness is a gift. We can open it and embrace and learn from it. We can revel in the time with God and His Word. Or we can reject it, and chase after busyness and people. Chasing after others instead of God is what leads to loneliness--that need of someone in our life rather than trusting that Someone is our life.

Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of aloneness. Thank you for using that time to mold me into your vessel. Thank you for the contentment you give me with the person you made me to be. And, thank you for the friends that you bring into my life to share with and play with and reflect with. May we sharpen each other into your likeness. Draw me into your Presence. Help me to desire the intimacy of a relationship with you. Always remind me that You are my Life. In those moments when I allow loneliness to cloud my perspective and I believe that another person can alleviate my discomfort in being alone, remind me that it is You that I need above all else. In your Precious Name I pray....Amen.

Our hostess for In Other Words this week is Christine at Fruit in Season. Please follow the links to see what others are writing. I trust you will be blessed!

Prayer

I plan to be back later with a different type of post, but I've just been reading the news articles regarding Ruth Graham (wife of Billy Graham). It seems odd to be so touched by someone that I have never met. Yet she has always been an inspiration to me. She has supported her husband in ministry and in marriage. She has reared Godly children who in turn minister to others. She speaks her mind, but always with grace and charm. My heart goes out to her family today as she nears heaven's doors. Please join me in praying for them at this time.

Vintage Quilts and Inspiration

A few weeks ago I went over to a friend's house for a showing of vintage quilts. My friend's friend collects quilts, US and UK predominantly, and was displaying them and talking about them to a group of about 25 ladies who had gathered. They were beautiful. Some dating to the late 1800's. Most from the 1930's forward (including the one that I am using for my banner). It was fun. It was informative. I totally enjoyed myself (except for when Jewel dropped her glass of water and broke it, thankfully my friend is also gracious). My favorite was a yo-yo quilt top, pieced around scraps of paper. The history in the pieces of paper used was fascinating.


We were also invited to bring our own quilt collections to show. I took this beauty. When my grandmother died, we found this quilt top in her things. My aunt remembered her piecing it from her old clothes when she was sixteen (1928). My grandfather took the top and had a neighbour quilt it--she was 99 when she quilted it. He gave it to my Mom. And in April, Mom gave it to me. I will treasure it. I also took the double wedding ring that my great grandmother made for my grandmother. Another of my favorite quilts.

But there was more to the evening than vintage quilts. The presenter also had some of her own quilts. She had one that was a flying geese pattern. She pointed out that it was her first quilt and two family members were critical of how her points came together and it almost made her quit quilting. Then she said, she decided to continue and do the types of things she loved and not worry about precision and such. This was such an inspiration to me. Back when Jewel was born I determined to make a quilt for each of her birthdays--she would leave with her own quilt collection started when she was grown. She has just about worn out her 1st year quilt. Her second year quilt is carefully displayed. And her third year quilt, well....it wasn't finished. It was a flying geese pattern (chosen by Jewel). She loves the block and I took it and her fabric choices (pink and purple) and was going to do a windmill to represent the area we live. But, my points don't match. And some criticism from my "it's gotta be perfect" quilt friends put me off. Then I moved and lost the background material (later found). Well, the whole project had just left a bad taste in my mouth. But this lady's reminder that it is about what we love and not about precision caused me to want to finish the quilt. I abandoned the windmill idea. I assembled the flying geese in rows and quilted it. And now Jewel has her 3rd birthday quilt complete! It is far from perfect, but she loves it because now she has her purple and pink quilt. I even made a pillow cover! Sometimes looking at the old can inspire the new.
(BTW, for her 4th birthday I opted to make a pillow out of Dora the Explorer fabric--which she adores. I have cut out Flower's first quilt and decided on what her second quilt will be--just gotta get busy. *sigh*)

In other quilty news, the cross stitch board I frequent makes baby quilts for the new babies born to members. I had the honour to quilt this piece for baby Madison. I hope she loves it as she grows.

Thanks for looking!

IOW--What a Difference a Year Makes

My dear husband is known for his practicality, his ability to see a plan for the vision and his ability to execute and deliver the plan. They are God-given gifts and he uses them both at work and in his ministries. In fact, it has recently been intimated to him that his presence in a certain ministry was desired because they needed/wanted someone who could administer a plan. He's been a part of that ministry so they know his style. German and I were discussing whether God was calling him back to that ministry and he said the most interesting thing. He said, "I'm not the same person I was then and I won't lead in practicality the way they want." We went on to discuss how the past year has been a leap of faith. Then the statement was made, "Once you have followed God in faith you never want just the mundane again." He spoke of the vision he had for that ministry--and practicality did not figure into it.

What has happened in a year that took German from Mr. Practicality to Mr. Vision? Simply put, God happened. For those of you who were not reading with me last year, let me tell the story again (if you have heard it, please forgive me). German worked for the same company in IT for 18 years. He was successful. He was at the "top of his game." Things were going really well within the teams he was leading. But early in 2006, he was just not happy. He was unsettled. As everyone was praising his work, he was finding it tedious and futile. He spoke with a recruiter for another company and interviewed. Although the interview went well, he was assured that things moved "incredibly slow" in this company and not to expect to hear anything for quite a while. We went on holiday to the States. We prayed. We talked with a Godly friend about it. We prayed. We prayed some more. When we returned we just knew that God was calling German to resign. There was no job offer. There was no promise of a job offer. We live in a foreign country where we can only stay if we have a job. We lived in a house that was rented by our employer. German is a manager who could be escorted out of the building immediately if he resigns. Resigning without a job makes no sense. But God said do it--and on April 22, 2006 German gave six weeks notice and resigned his job.

And then we waited. Our landlord would not allow us to take over the lease from the company and we had to move by the end of May. We didn't have a job to put on a lease application. But we found a house that was/is perfect for us and were able to lease it without any proof of employment. We continued to wait. Many of our belongings were in storage in the US (stored by previous employer). They had to be moved to us since the company was no longer paying for the storage. That was arranged. We continued to wait. We clung to the promises that God had a plan for us, "plans to prosper (us)and not to harm (us), plans to give (us) hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). His employer did not question his loyalty to doing his job and he was able to work out the six week notice. Mid-May German received a job offer from the company that was "extremely slow". We had heard that it could take up to 3 months from offer to start with paperwork, reference checks etc. He finished his last day of work on May 30 with his former company. He started his first day of work with his new company on June 1. God proved Himself faithful. We never missed a paycheck. We always had a roof over our head. Integrity and sanity were intact in what should have been a stressful time. But we don't see the stress, we see the hand of God. God called us to step out in faith, and we trusted Him. The results have been amazing. Someone once told me "The finger of God never points where the hand of God won't provide." How true that was for us!

But a year on, we are different people. Not daring, risk-taking at all costs fools. But people who are willing to take the risk of following God because He is faithful. He provides when He calls us out in faith. We revel in His faithfulness and we no longer quake at what 'might' happen. When God gives the vision, we want to be a part of it. And I don't want to ever go back to mundane service, now that I have experienced the joy of following God in faith. It is so much more rewarding to see Him at work. If you have never taken the risk, I urge you trust Him and follow Him--no matter how scary the path looks. He is faithful and He will reward. Blessings on your day.

“Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.”
~ Oswald Chambers ~

Iris is the hostess this week for In Other Words. Please join us with your reflections on this great Oswald Chambers quote!

Birthday Musing

Today is my 39th Birthday--my real one. Next year is the monumental birthday that German is already planning for (and he is not known for being kind on 40th birthdays). For my 30th birthday he filled the yard with pink flamingos and a billboard announcing my age. Gotta love him (otherwise, you might kill him, lol).

The plans for my birthday had been set for a while. German was working in London and Warwick, so the girls and I were to spend Friday thru Tuesday away with him at the expense of the company. But then today's meeting cancelled, losing the business case to stay the weekend, and our friends from Romania were to be here yesterday and he was preaching, and .... Needless to say we spent Friday and most of Saturday in London and returned late Saturday night. It was a wonderful weekend with perfect weather and I wished we could have stayed. (We spent Friday at the Natural History Museum then Harrods food court then the London Eye Ferris wheel and Saturday at Greenwich Royal Observatory, plus both days a long walk along the Thames). But God poured out His blessings at church yesterday and it was so worth it to return home early. Because German still has a meeting in London tomorrow, he had to leave mid-afternoon to to down. *sigh* He had taken the girls shopping and they bought me beautiful cards, a lovely Marguerite (mini daisies) plant and a couple of lovely blouses. Last night we went to my favorite Italian restaurant for dinner. The last time we had been was a year ago and this was the experience. Last night was magical. We sat in the patio area near the open windows. The meal from starter (avocado/bacon/mozzarella salad) to main (chicken in mushrooms) to dessert (tiramisu) was exquisite. The girls were well behaved. A lovely evening. I really felt taken care of. So all in all a great weekend of celebrating.

When I started dieting in January I set a goal to lose 30 pounds by my birthday. I missed it by 1.2 pounds, but overall I am so pleased with the results. It was a great birthday present to give myself!

As I've thought about the past year, so much has changed for our family. I've been trying to write a post about it for a couple of weeks now. It flows perfectly with the quote that Iris has chosen for In Other Words this week, so tune in tomorrow for "What a Difference a Year Makes." I pray you will be blessed.

Have a beautiful day. I'm going to enjoy the last few minutes of quiet of my birthday before time to get some sleep. Blessings....

Monday Menu Plan

Monday: Shepherd's Pie, sliced beets, carrots
Tuesday: "Chicken Melton" (chicken breasts rolled around Lancashire cheese and tomatoes, wrapped in bacon), salads, green beans
Wednesday: Pork with Marscapone, steamed broccoli, green salads
Thursday: Dinner with friends from Romania: Coca-Cola Chicken, steamed carrots, green salad/melon/sliced cucumbers/sliced tomatoes, roasted potatoes, ooey gooey butter cake with raspberries
Friday: Cheeseburgers, green peas, salad
Saturday: Grilled pork steaks, green beans, salad
Sunday: Salmon Chowder

IOW--From Pit Dweller to Glory Reflector

"What use to make us stumble, God can use to make us stand. What once made us bow our heads in shame, He can use for His glory."

~ JoAnna Weaver ~
Having a Mary Spirit

There is a part of my past I'm not happy to admit is there. In fact, for a long time shame dominated any memory of that time. Very few people are even privy to the knowledge of those days--German, my pastor at the time and his wife, a friend who is now in Phoenix, German's best friend and confidante during that time, a counselor and a couple of other friends. It was a dark time, largely brought onto me by me (although counseling helped me unearth the roots from where it grew). I thought at the time that the sin that was dominating my life would always define me. I was sure that I would never again have a vibrant ministry because of what I was. Ashamed and disillusioned, it not only made me stumble it pushed me to my knees. When I finally hit my knees, the Phoenix friend used his gift of encouragement (lol) with one word, "finally."

You see, I had to stumble before I would admit that it was not a "problem" and that it was sin. I had to fall flat on my face before I would look up for help. And I had to get on my knees before God could remind me that I was not defined by my sin but by His sacrifice. Through that humbling and shameful time in my life I learned that God loves sinners unconditionally. He had loved me from the moment of my birth. He had cherished me from the moment of my spiritual rebirth. And years later when I was refusing to act like His child He still loved me. Once I admitted what a fraud I had become, He healed it. And He forgot it.

But I didn't forget. I don't want to forget. I am forever grateful that it no longer defines me. I am amazed that most days I don't consciously remember it. Yet, that time changed me. I stopped identifying people by their behavior--because I didn't want to be identified by mine. I became more willing to pour out grace because of the grace that was poured on me. I started to take intercessory prayer more seriously, because without the prayers of others I might still be in the pit. It changed me into someone who could stand in the assurance of God's unconditional love. Recently a dear blogging friend commented on my ability to speak of the frailties of human nature without being demeaning. That comment meant more to me than so many comments I have received, because I am able to do that only as God is showing His glory. Not being harsh in our frailties was learned from that time in my life. Praise God He has taken that dark time and made me a reflector of His Glory. Dear friends, please know, no place is so dark that God cannot illumine it and use it for His glory. I stand as proof of that!


Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men
Psalm 107:13-15

Abba, Holy God, thank you for not leaving me in the pit of despair. Thank you for loving me in spite of me. Thank you for breaking the chains of bondage that were in my life and making me whole. I praise you that I am no longer defined by sins of the past but I am defined by your blood. Thank you for dying for me when I was a pitiful sinner. Thank you for allowing me to stand and glorify you! Amen.

Loni at Joy in the Morning is our hostess for In Other Words this week. I pray you will be blessed by the words of others. Thank you for visiting today.

Monday Menu Planning

Monday: cajun chicken and rice, salad, steamed carrots
Tuesday: burgers with cheese, salad, green peas
Wednesday: fish & chips and melon
Thursday: grilled lamb steaks, broccoli with cheese, salad
Friday & Saturday in London
Sunday: out to eat Italian to celebrate my birthday on Monday

Subject to change: once I know which night our Romanian friends are coming to visit the meal will change to: Chicken Cordon Bleu or Coca-Cola Chicken, carrots, roasted potatoes, salad and ooey gooey butter cake with raspberries for desert.

For other great menu plans visit Lara at Org Junkie.

I AM---Lesson Seven, Who am I?

Another great week with Lisa's study! Here are my answers to the discussion questions. Please visit here to get the background study as well.



Discussion Questions:

1. How would you answer the questions, "Who Am I?" I really like the words God gave me as I was writing my profile for who I am. I'm a lot of people--but all wrapped up in the title Redeemed Child of The Holy God.



2. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt inadequate because of your lack of a 'tagline'?

At first I struggled to think of a situation. But then God reminded me of one of my first teaching roles in our former church. I was teaching "Decision Making" course that was about counseling folk who came to the church to make membership/salvation/or other decisions. I thought I was ready. I knew my material. I'm a good speaker (at least I think so). Then I saw my class: three deacons and one deacon wife, all 25+ years my elder, all with more experience sharing the Gospel than I would ever hope to achieve. I was intimidated. I felt totally inadequate--and that is probably the favorite class I have ever taught. They were so gracious and teachable and I loved it. The tagline doesn't always matter.



3. Do you have skills or position that you believe God could use mightily if only He would?

Hmmmm...I have skills and experiences that I believe that God is using (teaching, writing, insight from years as a social worker). I have skills that are not currently being called upon. But the 'if only He would' bothers me--who am I to tell Him which skills He should use? I find, often, when I try to tell God how He should use me, He clearly (and painfully) reminds me that I am not Him. More of that trust stuff I've been trying to learn.



4. Have you ever lost a position or station in life you believe could have 'helped God out' with something He has asked you to do? If you haven't lost out, do you perhaps feel you have to gain this in order to be useful to the Kingdom?

I was once on church staff. I was part of the 'inner circle' that influenced so much of what was happening in the church. When we moved, there was a sense of loss for that position because of how I perceived God using me through it. (there was also a sense of relief that I no longer had that kind of responsibility) I realized later that I needed to not be in that position until God had time to dull the sharp edges of pride that I developed in that time. As much as I thought I was 'helping God out' I was probably more of a hindrance. By 'losing' the position and the pride associated with it, I have gained so much more.



5. How are you with your dialogue vs. doubt conversations with God? Which does God hear most from you?

I talk to God pretty much all the time that I am not talking to my kids, husband or another person. I have a steady conversation going on in my head. It does include the doubt conversations, because I think God is perfectly able to handle my doubts. But honestly the conversation is more of a monologue. I am convicted in this study that I need to shut up more often to allow God to speak. Then, and only then, can I call it a dialogue. *sigh*



6. Do you believe God's Wonders become more wonderful if they originate in the ordinary? Any Scripture references come to mind?

I think that wonders are wonderful period. I think we recognize the wonder out of the ordinary more because it is easy to expect extraordinary from extraordinary. When God moves in the unlikely, it is difficult to deny. There were a myriad of Scriptures that came to mind, but my favorite OT story reminds me of God's wonders. In Joshua 11:6-12, Caleb is claiming his mountain that was promised when he was a truthful spy forty-five years before. He tells Joshua, at age 85 he is just as strong as he was at 40 and he is ready to conquer his mountain--and he does. God enables an 85 year old faithful servant to keep the strength of his youth. And the victory was more wonderful because of the unlikelihood. I want to be aware of how God is strengthening me when I am faithfully following His lead.

May Goals Revisited

How can it already be June? Time is flying by. Anyway, here is the recap of last months' goals and adding some for this month.

Stitching:
1. Finish Jeremiah Junction "For Every Season" no...need about 5 more hours to complete
2. Finish 50% of the rocks on my fish RR uh...no...didn't even touch it
3. Keep up with Blackwork Round Robin yes, sent and new one received
4. Complete baby quilt for the Cross Stitch Crazy message board yes, completed, mailed and received (pics to come)

Other:
1. Keep up with and complete all the reading for 40 Days of Community at church yes..40 days complete!
2. Stay on track with Beth Moore Patriarch's study yes
3. Stay on track with I AM blog Bible Study yes
4. Order summer curriculum for Jewel done and received (Rosetta Stone German and Ann V.'s(Holy Experience) Geography)
5. Enroll Jewel in swim lessons yes...she's had 2 lessons and loves it
6. Complete at least 2 photo albums only finished one
7. Plan a family weekend away yes...great time away in Norfolk last weekend

And now for June's goals:
1. Really finish JJ's There is a Season
2. Complete rocks on fish RR to 25% (yes I'm lowering my standard)
3. Complete quilting on Jewel's quilt and pin on other quilt top
4. Organize fabric closet
5. Stay on track with Beth Moore Patriarch study
6. Stay on track with I AM blog Bible Study
7. Sort printed pictures into album stacks, decide what I need to print for next album
8. Finish Pre-K homeschooling year!

A New Look

Just updating my look. A couple things in the sidebar are not working yet. I'll get them corrected soon. Hope you like the new decor. Blessings on your day!

IOW--Diminishing Heaven?

"Lower your expectations of earth. This isn't heaven, so don't expect it to be."
~ Max Lucado ~

Contemplating this quote this week, I have decided that I do heaven a huge injustice. I downplay it. I diminish its awesomeness. I create it in the image of earth--not the other way around.

Sunday afternoon, while on holiday in Norfolk, I found a really awesome patchwork quilt shop. I could have easily spent hours/days/maybe even months fondling gorgeous fabrics. But German and the girls were in the car, so I settled for a couple of metres of fabric and some thread. As I got into the car I asked German what were the chances of getting a job in the area because "I may have just found heaven." Yes I was commenting on the fact that I found a place that was beautiful and could make make me very happy---but it is nothing like heaven.

Vacation places are called "heaven on earth". Heaven is used as the nth degree of beauty for comparisons. I can become almost glib about what heaven must be like. But the truth is: I-haven't-got-a-clue. Not a clue. The very best of the very best--not even a glimmer of the real thing. And that blows my little mortal mind!

So what is heaven going to be? The images I have created (and these are my imaginations as I read Scripture) are bright, shining, joyful, celebratory, loud with praise, and filled with God's presence. The body of Christ will always (always, always with no hesitation) love each other. Illness will be demolished. Fear--gone. Fighting and striving, nonexistent. Racial, ethnic or geographic differences abolished. We will act as one, be as one, all serving the awesomeness of our GOD together without judging how others are worshiping. Unity in Worship. That is what I look toward. And for all my comparisons on earth, it's going to be even greater.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:1-4

Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. Revelation 7:16

There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. Revelation 22:5

Can you catch a glimpse of heaven? Isn't it amazing? But I must remember in my imagining, that it is greater than here, more beautiful than here and more awesome than here. Why? Because God totally reigns there, and here I must cope with the falleness of the world and with my own sinful nature. The fallen state is demolished in heaven. I must not be surprised when earth doesn't measure up to heaven--it can't. And I must not diminish heaven to earth's best--it's greater than that. Praise the Lord, it's greater than that.

One of my favorite praise choruses is "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe. But, praise His Name, someday I won't have to imagine anymore. Blessings to you today!



Our hostess this week is Iris at Sting My Heart. Please join us there.

I AM--Lesson Six, Westside of the Wilderness

Here are my responses to this week's I Am study over at Lisa's place. Although the answers may seem a little short/curt, the thought process to get here was longer. I just found that conveying the emotion of the study into answers was not very simple.



1. How current is your God? Is he up to date on all your issues or do you have old hurts you still hold behind your back?



As far as what God has revealed to me, I believe that He is current and up-to-date. There are issues that rise--often new perspectives on old hurts, and at that time I seek to move where He is leading. I'm learning to trust His timing in bringing issues to mind.


2. Has the enemy ever told you there are situations that are 'old news' that are better left stuffed down? Or perhaps because they were so long ago they can't possibly be affecting you now?



Absolutely. The enemy will try any tactic to make us insufficient. And for years he whispered to me that it was better to just "stuff it" because that was the generational way of coping in my family. But, the glorious truth is that the enemy is a liar and that nothing is so "old news" that I can't deal with it in a Godly way. Thank the Lord He is teaching me that lesson.


3. In the matter of established authority, does God truly reign in your life? Where are you when He calls your name?



My heart's desire is for God to be God of everything in my life. I try to daily (or multiple times during the day, lol) thoughtfully and honestly put God on the throne and take myself off. There are the times I totally fall for the temptation to put my tiara back on and pretend I'm master of my life. Those times seem to be fewer and further between. I pray that I am always where I can hear Him when He calls my name.


4. Do you ever feel God has forgotten you in your 'west side of the wilderness'?



No. I don't feel forgotten. Often I wish the wilderness trip didn't have to be so hard, but I don't feel abandoned.


5. Have you ever experienced a time of cleansing where God has illuminated and rejuvenated you? If not, do you find you are in need of this now?



Yes I have experienced this. This is the question I am having the most difficult time explaining. Those times come, often unexpected, and just wow me. Not often am I speechless but God rejuvenates where words can't describe.



Thanks for another great study Lisa!

IOW--Remembering our Beauty

I was brushing Jewel's hair, and said half to myself and half to her hair, "You are so beautiful baby."

"Mom," she asked, "when you were a little girl did your mom say you were beautiful?"

(hmmm...how to answer...my mom was not the best at sharing the blessing with her children)

"I'm sure she did."

"Did you believe her?" asked the innocent.

(where did that question come from?! I try so hard for her not to see the way I struggle with my mom)

"Don't you believe me when I tell you you are beautiful?"

"Of course."

"So why ask if I believed grandma?"

"Because wouldn't you remember if you believed it?"

Then she hopped down and went to play. But she is right, wouldn't I remember if I believed it?

Somewhere along the way I learned that God did think I was beautiful. And I chose to believe it. I heard, and believed the words He wrote.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16

I began to understand that if God created me in His image, then I must be created with worth. I believed it and I remembered it. And that is the turning point of being able to minister. Once we believe the worthiness of humanity because of the creative power of God, then we can share it with conviction. Then, and only then, can we expect others to believe us when we tell them God finds them beautiful and worthy and cherished. They will believe us, because we believe it for ourselves. Confidence in our God is attractive--and others will want it.

"Until you settle the issue of your own worth, it's impossible to bring holiness into anyone else's life. Until you understand that your worth is already determined by the fact of your birth, everything else is an exercise in propping up a dying tree."

~ Carol Brazo ~
"No Ordinary Home"

Dear Lord, help me today to show that I believe you by remembering what You say to me about my worth. Help me to live a life that exudes your confidence. May I always be aware that my worth comes not from what I have done or what I possess but because of Your grace as my Savior and my Creator. May my children see your beauty shining in my life and may they always hear and receive my blessing, not because of their actions but because they are gifts from You. Use my life as a magnet to draw others to you, so that they may also believe they are worthy. May I bless others because you have blessed me. Amen.

Christine at Fruit in Season is the hostess for In Others Words this week. Please join us there for further discussion.

Monday Menu Plan

Monday: Grilled Chicken with Feta, tzaiziki, pita bread, green beans, Greek Salad
Tuesday: Pork with Marscapone, steamed carrots, salad
Wednesday: German out of town---ham and cheese with melon
Thursday: Grilled salmon, salad, melon, vegetable tbd
Friday: Turkey burgers with cheese, salad
Saturday-Monday: on holiday in Norwich

For more menu ideas, please visit Lara at Org Junkie. Have a great week!

Craving chocolate and other spiritual truths

I've been craving chocolate the last few days. Not a casual, "gee some chocolate would be nice," but a "if you want something from me and you don't have chocolate you might*as*well*go*away" type craving. It has become a physical as well as psychological need. It isn't really that surprising. I usually have a day or two each month when I crave chocolate, and I usually have some stashed for just those moments. But I've been serious about this lifestyle change of eating better and haven not kept chocolate in the house for three months (I know some of you are gasping). And this month it is driving me crazy, but I'm going to resist temptation [note to self--keep reminding yourself of the 28 pounds you have lost and fight the craving].

In all seriousness, it has made me think about why we crave certain things. According to dictionary.com to crave means to:

crave /kreɪv/ –verb (used with object)
1.to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly: to crave sweets; to crave affection.
2.to require; need: a problem craving prompt attention.
3.to ask earnestly for (something); beg for.
4.to ask (a person) earnestly for something or to do something. –verb (used without object)
5.to beg or plead (usually fol. by for).

—Synonyms 1. yearn for, hunger for.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

With the exception of some really weird pregnancy cravings you sometimes read about, I don't hear of people craving something they have never tasted. My daughters never asked for chocolate until they were given their first taste. I don't go around thinking, "wow I'd like to have some kim chee (Korean fermented cabbage that I have managed to never try) today" because I have never eaten it. I have, however, seen German get very excited to see it on a Vietnamese menu--he loves the stuff after working in South Korea. My point is, we generally need to develop a taste for something before our body tells us we really need/want greatly to eat more of it. The evolution is first taste to liking the flavor to eating some more to almost being able to taste it before we eat it.

Admit it, you are smiling because you know exactly what I'm talking about. Whether it is chocolate or something else, we have all been there. But you are thinking, "what difference does it make?" Well I made the leap, as my weird mind often does, to another thing that I am craving--more and deeper Bible Study. I am at a point in my walk, in this season of my life, where I just want to know more. I'd like nothing more than to lock myself away and just study. Of course that is impossible with two little ones, but I find myself searching for extra time for "a few more minutes." I'm not reading anything except study materials and my Bible--why waste the time on a novel when I can have the Word. I look at my stitching and think, another time. Computer time has been seriously cut back. Chatting online--nonexistent. I am at a stage where "if you want something from me and you aren't bringing a piece of the Word you*might*as*well*forget*it". And it is a great and exhilarating place to be. And as much as I pray that I will always crave the Word like this, I know that the craving will ebb and flow--but hopefully the habit will be established before the craving subsides.

Since this craving is so real to me, I am a little taken aback that not everyone shares it. I was chatting with a friend the other day about wanting deeper studies than our church is currently offering. She made the comment that if she wanted it and I wanted it, weren't the others wanting it as well. And we discussed why so many people don't want to invest themselves into a deeper study. But in my thoughts about craving, I think I may have part of the answer--they don't want it because they haven't tasted it. So many Christians have never undergone serious study on their own, so they don't know what they are missing. They believe that they get the Bible teaching they need from the sermon on Sunday morning and maybe a quick devotional reading each day (and please don't get me wrong, those are great and important tools in our walk with God). But they have never undertaken a serious study of what the words, the contexts, the content and the application of the Word of God means for them. So when I say "I want more" they look at me blankly--what does more mean when you have never tasted it?

Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. 1 Corinthians 3:1-2

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

I've seen this at work in the Ladies Bible Study I lead on Friday mornings. We had been doing a study of a thematic topic and just discussing Scripture and application to our lives (friendship, fellowship, trust, etc). Each person could invest a lot of time thinking and researching the topic or just come and learn. But for the last 6 weeks, we have been studying Beth Moore's "The Patriarchs". And any of you who have done her studies know they involve lots of homework and lots of Scripture reading. Comments I'm beginning to hear is "why haven't I done this before?" "wow this is so great, I can't wait to do my daily study" "have you thought what we are going to do next, I don't want to stop". YES! They tasted it and they want more! How exciting. I've always known that my heart was for discipleship--helping to mentor and shape a person who has made a decision into a disciple of Christ. Helping new believers (and even stale believers) find the tools for a vibrant life in Christ. I think God is defining that for me even more. I want people to taste the Lord and know that He is good. I want to help them crave His Word. I want to teach them how to study the Bible so it becomes alive to them. I'm excited about what God is doing in my life and in the lives of the ladies in my group. I'm praying it continues.

As I seek to help people crave the Word, I wonder what has been a turning point for you to want more study? What was your signpost? What did you taste that you couldn't wait to get more of it? I'm preparing for the next study and any direction you could give me would be welcomed thankfully.

And I think I've found the cure for my chocolate craving. Think I'll go read some more. Blessings to you all.

I have not departed from your laws, for you yourself have taught me.
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Psalm 119:102-104

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6

photo credit: morguefile.com artist=rosevita

IOW---A Flawed Plate is Still Usable

"What makes life on this frightful sod so exquisite is God's merciful propensity to perform divine tasks amid deeply flawed people."
~ Beth Moore, LPM Blog ~

I am fortunate enough to live within driving distance of a set of towns known as Stoke-on-Trent or more affectionately called "The Potteries." This is a collection of towns where the potteries of English dishware have existed for hundreds of years. They are all there--Spode, Wedgewood, Burley, Leeds Creamware, and (my personal favorite) Portmeireon, among dozens of others. And the glorious thing is...they all have factory stores! It is a fun-filled day out, even for this shopping-phobic.

But there is a given in a factory store---the merchandise didn't get there unless it was flawed. Big flaw, little flaw, obvious flaw, hidden flaw. Somewhere on that dish, there is a flaw. And the flaw makes it a bargain. But you have to be patient to find flaws that will "work" together. I have an incredible set of 3 bowls that I paid ten pounds/five dollars for all three. I stacked bowls for quite some time before finding 3 that would fit snugly together--the flaw was in the sizing. Several friends bought the same bowls. One potluck dinner at church we all brought things in our bowls. And as we washed the bowls, it was easy to determine whose was whose--their bowls didn't fit in mine and vice versa. The flaws were not compatible.

Another visit to the Potteries found me sitting on the floor, painstakingly feeling the surface of Spode Christmas tree plates. I finally found twelve that stacked nicely and did not have any serious bumps in the center of the plate. Yes they are flawed, and I know where the flaws are from spending that much time choosing, but they are perfectly usable. And for twelve pounds/six dollars for the lot instead of twenty-five pounds for a single unflawed plate, it's worth it. The flaws do not make them unusable, they make them unique.

In the same way, our flaws do not make us unusable, they make us unique. God painstakingly looks into our lives, matches our flaws with areas of ministry and commissions us. If I'm trying to live someone else's life, I'll find that it is not a good fit. My flaws are connected to my life to make me the most useful I can be. So many of my ministries are with folks who have similar flaws--because we understand each other we can help each other. And as that is happening, an amazing phenomenon takes place. Our flaws become less sharp, less defining, less glaring. We smooth each other out. We find the healing of God in each other's flawedness. And we become stronger, not weaker. God is not content to leave us flawed--but He is more determined to use our flaws to minister to His Kingdom and grow us into His Likeness.

Scripture tells us that God is the master potter. He shapes us and reshapes us and reshapes us again until we become the likeness He envisions. I must trust that He knows how to form me. I need to allow Him to ease the flaws and make me useful. Only He understands the plans He has for my life, so I need to allow Him to bring the plans to fruition. How marvelous that part of the shaping of me is His use of other flawed people. How miraculous that His shaping of other people is in part because of His use of my flawed vessel. God is the master potter. Let's let Him shape us, flaws and all.

You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "He did not make me"? Can the pot say of the potter, "He knows nothing"? Isaiah 29:16

Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him
working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as
seemed best to him. Jeremiah 18:3-4

Dear Lord, today help me to understand that we are all flawed clay in Your hands. Help me to be gentle with myself regarding my flaws and to give them to you to be reshaped. Help me to be graceful to others regarding their flaws and trust You to work in their lives as well. Forgive me when this piece of clay has had the audacity to tell you how to shape me. I want to be moldable and useful. And I want others to see you shining as I minister despite my flaws. Thank you Father for being the Master Potter. I place myself in Your hands....Amen



This week our hostess for In Other Words is Laurel. Please come join us in reflecting on Beth Moore's quote. Blessings to your day!

I AM---Lesson 5 "I Was"

1. Have you ever found yourself 'in faith' yet bewildered or demoralized?

Yes. After miscarriage number two (at 14 weeks) I was totally 'in faith' that we would be or have the family that God intended. But I was still heartbroken, bewildered and confused why we were unable to have "this" child. It was compounded by the whys. The baby was trisomy-21 and the doctor said it just didn't make it. The week we learned the "why", friends at church had a beautiful little girl--trisomy21. I could not understand why ours didn't make it and theirs did. I still don't understand the why, but God did give us the family He intended.

2. Do you consider yourself content? Would you describe it as Decidedly Content or Dreamily Content?

I am content. I am dreamily content in that I love watching German with the girls and get that "how can I be so lucky" feeling. I walk through my house and review my life and am just amazed at how much God has blessed me. But I am also decidedly content. I choose to be happy wherever God (and the job) lead us, with the things that we are able to do, and the current situations. I could spend my life saying "what if" but that would be so much of a waste.

3. If you are not content, are there circumstances that keep you from this feeling?
I was tempted to just say "not applicable" but then I realized that a situation arose yesterday that I am unsettled and discontent over. I need to spend some time with God choosing to be content in it, even if it is decidedly going to a place that is NLIP.

4. Have you ever found yourself in a place where you looked back on a period of your Christian walk and believed a great opportunity passed you by?
Honestly, no. I look back and think "I could have done that better" or "I could have spoken sooner" or something along those lines. But I don't see "great opportunities" that pass me by. I try to keep the perspective that everything in the past shapes me to who I am in the present.

5. Do you ever believe your faith was stronger in an earlier time in your Christianity and find yourself floundering now?
I believe that I am in a great period of growing in and trusting God. I think my faith has changed over the years--become less childlike and more adult, more of a deliberate choice, more foundational. Yes, it has ebbed and flowed with life, but always seems stronger for the experience. Sometimes I am nostalgic for the "just loving and believing in God" faith I had as a child, but I really appreciate the faith I have now that is based up seeing God's faithfulness and believing Him no matter what.

6. Can you recognize that this season may be one of great preparation instead of a period of "I Was"?
I believe each season of our life is preparing and growing us for the next. It is in looking back to the periods of "I Was" I can see what God has kept me from being. I don't have to dwell on "I Was" (infertile, miscarriage, unbalanced in school/work/church life, disobedient, prideful or whatever) because God has brought me through those times (and continues to bring me through) to be the mentor and minister I am today. And He will take these times in my life, good and bad, to make me an even greater mentor and minister for the future. That is the glory of it---a life in Christ is never stagnant. Hallelujah!

Monday Menu

Monday: take away (German is out of town)
Tuesday: grilled cajun chicken breasts, steamed carrots, mixed salads
Wednesday: Baked ham, sweet potatoes, salad
Thursday: Grilled polish sausage, sauerkraut, sweet peas, salad
Friday: Garlic Shrimp, salad, green beans
Saturday: Chef's salads
Sunday: Mixed bean soup and crackers

For other great menu ideas, join Laura at Org Junkie.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day can be a difficult time for some of us who struggle with the relationship with our earthly mothers. Choosing a card that is "pretty" and "sweet" but not "deceitful" can be agonizing. But instead of focusing on the difficult part of the holiday today, I am simply going to share my mother's favorite Bible verse. For in spite of all the faults in our relationship she did always demonstrate a love of Scripture memory. (as you read, remember she was a farmer's wife)

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights.
Habbakuk 3:17-19

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

photo credits: both from morguefile.com cotton by mitchlee83, flower by nazka2002

7 Random Things

Tami at The Next Step has tagged me with the meme, 7 Things About Me.

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they have been tagged and to read your blog!

So, here it is:

1. I absolutely love Art History. When we went to Florence a few years ago, I spent hours on the internet mapping the Uffizzi, marking the paintings I *had* to see, writing commentary to teach my non-art-loving husband. And then, the museum workers were on strike the day we got there. My loving husband delayed our leaving for Pisa so I could spend 4 hours in the museum!

2. My first job was data entry of parts at a tractor dealership. My grandfather used to love to come in and ask for me and then ask for whatever he needed, because he knew I was clueless about tractors. But I typed well. :)

3. When I got my graduate degree (in Kentucky) I only looked for jobs in the Pacific Northwest--a place I had never even visited. I figured I was young, single and it was a good time to make a move (plus there were so many people looking for work where I was). I phone interviewed and flew out for a trial run during Spring Break. Took the job, ended up not being the best fit but I met my husband while living in Washington so God was in control of the move.

4. In college, I rented a 4 bedroom *period* home that had not been refurbed with 3 other girls. Our names started with J,K,L,M so all our friends called the place the "alphabet house". It was in a not-so-great part of town. I saw more than a few drug busts while driving home, and got pretty good at being able to determine if the gunshot was on our street (only was once). My Dad was sure glad to see me graduate and move.

5. My undergraduate degree is in math. I became a social worker. My husband has a math degree but works in IT. Jewel loves math...maybe she'll continue the math degree tradition someday.

6. Now that I am raising a *mini-me* in Flower, I am constantly amazed that I even lived to adulthood. I actually apologized to my Dad recently for what I must have been like.

7. I am an absolute introvert. But I would love to be a party planner. Then I could plan the party and leave while others' enjoyed the fruit of my labor.

Now to tag others, hmmm.... Margaret, Velda, Megan, Maria, Floss, Emma, Tina consider yourselves tagged.

I AM-- Lesson 4

I am determined to get this posted before Lisa posts the next lesson. I have had it completed for a few days, but have not had time to type it in. Forgive the short time line between lessons. I really loved this lesson. Dealing with my call and how that plays out is a large part of who I am as a mentor, minister, mother and wife. I find difficult to even articulate what God did in my life as He made me aware that I was Called. The specifics of what I am to be doing changes with the seasons of my life, but the calling is always there. Glory! Now for the questions:

1. I am going to present to you a little acrostic to begin our discussion today. What is your latest NLIP (Not Like I Planned)? I actually have two current NLIPs. The first is I never planned for it to be difficult for my husband to transition jobs. He loves what he is doing, but the stressors are different than we anticipated and I find myself unsure how to support him at times. The other NLIP, and really the biggie for me, is how difficult it has been to find a person who can be a soul friend and accountability partner here locally. I have wonderful accountability people all over the world, but not someone here that can look in my eyes and heart and see the real me. Causes me trust God's hand more and be accountable only to Him, but it is not how I prefer it.

2. How did you react to your NLIP? Are you still upset about it? Happy about it? Baffled by it? Explain. With my husband I tend to be protective want to fret and fuss that it is not happening the way I planned. But I so clearly see God's hand in the transition, so mainly I am just trying to be flexible. With my stuff, I am saddened that it is not easier to create those friendships but I do trust that in His time they will come. I am somewhat baffled that what appears to be a Godly desire was not met immediately, but it is part of my trust-development and I want to trust Him more than I want my way.

3. Have you ever attempted to step into an area of ministry and found your desire rejected? Did this cause you to question God and yourself? Perhaps distrust what you perceived to be your calling? In my early days of my call, I found road blocks due to the fact that I felt called to go to seminary. As a Southern Baptist woman that was not overwhelmingly welcomed. I never doubted myself or my call. In fact, when my pastor at the time asked (in the meeting to decide whether to endorse me to seminary), "little lady what do you think you can do for God in the church as a woman" God gave me the answer I needed, and I clung to that answer. I responded that "God created me a woman, He put me in a Baptist family and He called me to ministry. Whether I understood how He was going to fulfill that, I had to believe He was big enough to meld the three." (they endorsed me with no further questions) So when I question my call, I remind myself of Who created me and Who called me.

4. Do you harbor any bitterness towards any individual or situation which you believe waylaid your best laid plans? There is friend who I believe waylaid many of my plans. The situation was deeply disappointing, but I have refused to let bitterness take hold and just tried to learn from it.

5. Have you had a life experience or trial that left you with a shaken faith because it ended in an NLIP? yes (the above situation) but I don't feel it would be right to elaborate.

6. Based on Moses' response of faith to his own rejection, how will you re-evaluate your own experiences or look at future ones differently if a NLIP presents itself? God is always at work. I find myself trusting this more and more as I see how God works through NLIPs. I hope to be able to do that on a deeper level in the future.

In 'Other' Words

"When God is involved, anything can happen. Be open and stay that way. God has a beautiful way of bringing good vibrations out of broken chords."

~ Chuck Swindoll~

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

As I look back over the brokeness of my life, it is apparent how God has worked in each of the situations to bring *good*. In a broken relationship at college, God taught dependence on Him and showed His protection against all earthly odds. In the shatteredness of my parent's marriage, God made me vigilant for my marriage. Although my relationship with my mother could never be called *close*, God has made it respectful. The loss of two pregnancies has shown me the preciousness of two daughters. Brokeness in my life has allowed God to mold me and shape me into the person that I have become. Good has never equated with easy, but it has always exemplified God's grace to grow me into a woman who reflects Him.

Why is it that when we are our most vulnerable God works His greatest miracles? I think, in some part, it is because at those moments we don't have the strength to resist His calls of love. In order for God to work in our lives, we must get out of the way. When we think we can handle life on our own, there is little room for God to work. But in vulnerability, He can show His strength. Chuck Swindoll in this week's quote calls us to "be open." Be willing to see God. In hard times we often swing to two extremes: retreat and wall ourselves up to not get hurt more or allow God to work. Mr. Swindoll is reminding us that God can use the situations only if we are open to His Spirit moving in our life. If we are closed up, all we are going to have are broken chords. If we open our lives to Him, then we can hear the music.

It is easy to look into the past and say, "that's where God was at work, even if I didn't realize it." Sometimes it is more difficult to look at the present and say, "God is at work, even if I can't see it." I pray that you and I will remain *open* and allow God to work.

Father God, you know the struggles of my heart. Hold them in Your hand and work in them. Do not allow me to shut off my heart, but allow it to be an open channel for your work. Give me the strength to be vulnerable and to trust. You know where I believe, help me where I don't believe. And in your grace, may I hear the music you make from the broken chords. Amen.

Join us this week at Joy in the Morning for more discussions of Mr. Swindoll's quote.

Goals and a SBQ

I didn't set any specific goals in April since we would be traveling. And as is often the case, no goals meant no progress. So I am back to setting May goals:
Stitching:
1. Finish Jeremiah Junction "For Every Season"
2. Finish 50% of the rocks on my fish RR
3. Keep up with Blackwork Round Robin
4. Complete baby quilt for the Cross Stitch Crazy message board

Other:
1. Keep up with and complete all the reading for 40 Days of Community at church
2. Stay on track with Beth Moore Patriarch's study
3. Stay on track with I AM blog Bible Study
4. Order summer curriculum for Jewel
5. Enroll Jewel in swim lessons
6. Complete at least 2 photo albums
7. Plan a family weekend away

Looks like May could be busy. :)

Today's SBQ was suggested Kathryn and is:

How many WIPs do you have? How many UFOs do you have? When does a WIP become a UFO?

The permalink to this post is: http://blog.blondelibrarian.net/archives/2007/05/sbq-wips-and-ufos/

I have 7 current Works in Progress (For Every Season (75%), Hinzeit Alabama (50%), Flag Quilt Sampler (20%), Bug Sampler (20%), Stoney Creek Tractors (just started), My Heart Belongs to Needlework (20%), and Come and Share (just started)). Then I have 5 Round Robins that have been returned and I need to complete. I have 3 UFOs which will never be finished I just need to either give them to someone or throw them away. (*blush* I also have 7 projects ready to start as soon as I finish something/anything).
A WIP becomes a UFO when I stop planning to finish it. Usually because my tastes have changed, my situation has changed or it was intended for someone who would no longer appreciate it. Of my current 3 UFOs, one was for my office before I quit working and the other two were started with the intention to someday give to my brother--but now his interests have changed as well. As long as a project still draws me and I want to finish it, I consider it a WIP.

Praying for Heather

If you are looking for In 'Other' Words, please scroll down. But please read this first!




Heather at Especially Heather is undergoing surgery for a brain tumor on Thursday at 8:00 a.m. CT. Kelli at Living in Grace is organizing a round-the-clock prayer chain for that day and the days following to cover Heather and her family in our prayers. If you have followed this story, you know that Heather and Mark are trusting God to show His glory in and through this difficult time. She is an inspiration, and I am honored to be a part of the prayer chain. If you pray, please remember Heather on Thursday--and everyday up until then. She will be in ICU for at least 24 hours, and remain in the hospital another 3-5 days depending on recovery. If God leads you to, please go to Kelli's site and sign the Mr. Linky that you will be praying and leave a comment there of when you will be praying. Let's cover our dear sister many times over every minute of that day and the following week. Bless you! (I'll be praying 7-8 a.m. BST which is 3-4 a.m. CT).

IOW--at a Snail's Pace

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark."
~ Charles Spurgeon ~

We had an object lesson in on our doorstep last Thursday evening. A snail was steadfastly making its way from our flower bed to our front door as German arrived home from work. He called the girls out to see it. They marveled at how it propelled its body and its shell. They worried that it was going to fall into the 1/2 inch "abyss" created by the space between paving stones--and were delighted to watch it stretch its body out of the shell enough to reach the other side then pull the rest behind. And then Flower got worried that it was going to get into the house and started to make a scene. German assured her that even if it made it to the door, it was slow enough that we could close the door before it entered. She was reassured and happily went back to watching it leave a trail on my front porch. Little did I know that the next day Iris would choose a quote about the snail, and send my mind back to that moment.



It was the steadfastness and perseverence that propelled the snail toward its goal. It has made its home around the corner on the side of the house--why I don't know--but the girls don't want me to remove it. It may have been slow, but it continued to move forward. To make a rather irreverent jump, its journey somewhat illustrates the act of friendship evangelism. We have friends who God has clearly laid on our hearts as people He desires to know Him. And they have no interest whatsoever. It feels like it is slow-going. Somedays, it feels like we are stretching our necks out--vulnerable--as we seek to be an example in their life. Other days I am sure we will fall into the abyss of their lifestyle if we are not totally vigilant. But this is where God calls us to be, and we must persevere. God does not call us to be responsible for the result. He calls us to represent Him to them. There are days I am frustrated because it would be so much easier to just present a 4-step Gospel message and be on my way. But they aren't ready for that. God says walk this slow path of just being their friend, living your faith, and giving God credit for what happens in our lives. He says "let them see Me and how I keep you from the abyss." He says, "Persevere in love, I'll do the rest."

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:6-8

Spurgeons's snail may have been slow, but its journey led to the ark. My snail may have been slow, but its journey led to a perch on the house. Slow as my journey may seem, I believe that the journey leads my friends to the cross. And so I do persevere.

When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold and stouthearted.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138: 3, 8

Lord, give me the patience to persevere with my friends. May the life I live in front of them reflect you. May the words I say glorify you. And may this journey end at the foot of the cross for them. Amen.

Iris is our hostess for In Other Words this week. Please join us here with your reflection or to read others' reflections.

photo credit: ariadna at www.morguefile.com