You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes--a review

I don't do many book reviews on this blog.  But this just isn't any book.  This is a book I've anticipated the release and I could not wait to get my hands on it.  And it did not disappoint. 

I first *met* Lisa McKay  when Iris pointed her readers to an online Bible Study that was starting called "I Am."  I was pouring a lot of me into teaching other people and not enough allowing myself to be refilled.  This study was the refresher I needed.  I found Lisa to be deep, funny, penetrating, accessible and an amazing communicator.  So, I started following her blog.  Her blog is also funny, challenging, and accessible!  When she announced that she was writing this book I was excited for her and committed to pray for her.  Sometimes I succeeded, other times I dropped that prayer ball totally.  I eagerly watched as she wrote the book, sent it off for editing and finally had a print release date.  I can tell you that the end result of this book was worth the wait.

You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes is a handbook for pastors' wives everywhere.  You are probably shaking your head in wonderment because you all know that I am not a pastor's wife.  But I know a lot of pastor's wives and Lisa also speaks to the layperson about what it looks like behind the door of the parsonage.  This book will touch you and will make you laugh, but it will ultimately make you think about how you impact your pastor's family with your words and actions (or silence and inaction).  Whilst giving guidance on how to maintain your own person and ministry alongside being one's husband's greatest supporter, she is reminding the layperson to extend grace to the pastor's wife and allow her to use her own gifts.  The discussions about pastor's children remind us to allow their kids to grow up without too much pressure to be something they are not.   Her advice about moving and preparing children for the move, or more specifically praying for God to draw the child's heart as he is drawing your heart to the next place, was timely advice for me to heed!

One thing that amazed me as I read this book is seeing all of my past and current pastor's wives somewhere in the pages.  I've had pastor's wives who were extroverts and others who were introverts, some who were involved in everything and other's selective in their ministry contribution, some with young children at home and others who were empty-nesters.  In the pages of this book I saw things that *I*  had held against some of them or that I know others held against them.  I found myself thinking "that makes so much sense" or "I wish I had known/considered that."  I know that this book will lead me to be more understanding of the needs of the pastor and his family (I know it could be 'and her family', but not really in my denominational tradition). 

Lisa is open in her writing.  The reader gets a good look at her life as a pastor's wife, including the struggles and the mistakes.  I appreciate that realness.  She uses humour well to make her points.  But do not get the impression that this book is fluffy stories of her life with some advice attached.  It is not.  It is Biblically grounded, with solid reflection on the Scripture and plenty of going back to the original Greek language to keep this word-geek intrigued.  This is not fluff.  It is amazing teaching around the subject of supporting one's spouse in his calling from God. 

Read this book if you are a pastor or minister's wife.  I am sure you will be blessed to see that your life is very much like those who share your path of life.  Read this book if you are friends with a pastor's wife.  It will help you see ways to encourage and support your friend.  Read this book if you are just someone in the pew who knows the pastor's wife but is not close to her.  It may help you find a ministry of support, of prayer or just of understanding.  In case you have got the message, read the book.  It is a blessing.

For the record, no one asked me to comment on the book and I purchased it myself.  I just found after my marathon-I-can't-put-it-down reading that I wanted to point my readers to a blessing.  Let me know if you do read it and what stands out to you!

Oh, and Lisa if you are reading...I have always been convinced that if we had met when I was still in Alabama we would be fast friends.  After reading the opening of chapter five I know if for sure.  Who wouldn't become fast friends with someone who understands "please don't breathe in my face"! LOL!

I AM--Lesson Sixteen--Wide Open Spaces

Lisa at The Preacher's Wife has posted the final installment of the I AM study. What a lovely, timely and amazing study this has been. The final lesson is based on Deuteronomy 34 and Hebrews 11 and deals with the Moses' reaching the Promised Land. No, he did not enter the physical promise land, but he did step into his eternal promised land. Another lovely lesson. This time she asks only one question:

"What is one thing God has taught you through this study?"

I can't easily say just one thing as this study has seriously impacted my life. The overall theme of God being ENOUGH was something that I needed reinforced. My head is full of knowledge, often too much knowledge, and it becomes easy to depend on what I know to get me through life. Often, sadly, I even depend on my knowledge to get me through the Bible Studies I teach. I needed to get past that. Lisa's description of the pillars falling in this lesson resonated with me (see here for my post on the fragility of our pillars). I love that He continues to reveal that He is absolutely enough, no matter how much (or little) I feel I need on any given day. He already knows my portion, and has prepared it for me. What an awesome realization!

Bless you Lisa for sharing your love of the Word and your love of people with us in this study. You will probably never know this side of heaven how many people you have blessed. But He knows! May you feel His Love poured out on you as you prepare for whatever He next calls you to do.

I AM Lesson 15: Full Circle

It's time for another installment of I AM...so you don't have to be. This is a great study and I really can't believe we are almost to the end. I am loving the fellowship in comments as well as the way God is using Lisa's words to transform my life. Really, if you haven't started this study yet, there is still time. Round two is just starting. Go to The Preacher's Wife and dive in. You won't regret it.

This week's lesson is out of Numbers 14 and Numbers 32:16-18. Here are my responses to the Burning Questions.

Burning Questions:

1. I think we can all agree most of us find ourselves closer to God in the struggle than without it. How does it affect you knowing that trial is what draws you more intimately in relationship to Your God? After the struggle, it is a blessing because I know that the trial was not in vain. As I go through the trial it can be either a blessing that reminds me that God is using it or a frustration of why does it have to be a trial? I think I find the trials of my own making, the ones that are more discipline related than refining related, so much more frustrating because I know that I could be close to God without going through all the unnecessary hard stuff. Refining trials I know God has purposed for my good.

2. Have you ever made a huge mistake but then found yourself in the position for a 'do-over'? Did you make a better decision the second or third or fourth time around? :) I honestly think that most of the time I am good at learning from my mistakes. So when God has graced me with a do-over, I have made better decisions (often not best decisions, but at least better). It certainly gets easier to make the right decision everytime the opportunity presents itself, lol.

3. Is there a 'generational sin' in your family you have overcome? This can be anything from a lineage of unbelief to issues of many kinds. This may be a private matter. Share if you feel liberty or quietly thank God for His deliverance. If you have not yet been delivered, I pray with all my heart God's Word is giving you courage to ask for help in that area. This year I have focused on breaking the generational pattern that louder (err...yelling) does not produce more obedient children. My mother learned it from her father who probably learned it from his father. By God's grace this is the generation that it ends. And He is honoring that desire--again I'm not there yet but lots of progress.

4. Have you ever been misunderstood? Do you feel unforgiven for past mistakes even though you know God has forgiven you? yes and yes (and I can't say more than that)

5. Is there a sister you need to extend grace towards in order to be able to 'bless God together'? Do you comprehend how your unforgiveness is hindering her from inhabiting her own Promise? If no, do you recognize a situation within your church body where this may be happening? If so, ask God to raise up a 'Phinehas' (mediator) in this situation. He may just reveal the Phinehas is you. :)
Having spent a large part of the last four years as the unforgiven, despite attempts to resolve the issue, I totally can comprehend that unforgiveness can hinder someone from inhabiting their own Promise if they let it. I know that God has forgiven and that God was leading in the situation and I can live in Promise despite her unforgiveness. But the situation has made me more acutely aware when grace needs to be extended. I don't believe that there is anyone to whom I currently need to extend that grace. But God did present a situation last night where I may be asked to be Phineas. Please pray for wisdom! :-)

I AM, Lesson 14, He Brought Us Out to Bring Us In

It's time for another installment of the I AM Bible Study! I can't believe how far we have come and there are only two more after this. Lisa has done a wonderful job opening up the Word to us. This week's lesson is based upon Exodus 6:6-8, Exodus 15:13 and Deuteronomy 6:23. Here are the Burning questions:

1. We talked of the importance of encouragement when God has called us to task. Has a lack of encouragement or even ridicule ever taken you back to a place of insufficiency you thought you had conquered?

I can't think of a specific incident that has taken me back to a place of insufficiency. But I do know that when I am teaching, several weeks of non-encouragement puts me in a place where it is just harder to get it done.

2. Is there someone you know right now who is attempting a new ministry that could use a world of encouragement from you? Why do you think this thing may be scary for her? Will you commit to write a note, make a call, or send an email with a dose of courage inside?

I learned this week that a family friend is taking a 2 year assignment with SIM to go to Peru. Since he will be encountering a new country, new culture, new language, new climate, new everything, I'm sure that will be rather daunting. He obligingly set up a blog, so I've been able to comment and encourage him through that. I will be looking for other ways to encourage as well.

3. Read Moses' song in Exodus 15:3-18. What line speaks to you most? Why does it touch you?

Verse 11 "Who among the gods is like you?" The world we live in is so filled with other gods claiming to be the answer, and some dear people around me are buying those lies. This verse is such a reassurance that God is God and the little gods are powerless.

4. Based on the applications of living either inside or outside the Promise, where would you now say you currently reside? (As I read your answers, if this one point seems to have been confusing, I'll elaborate in a separate post. Again remember I am asking this question in terms of abundant living and not in determining salvation.;))

Inside the promise.

5. If you are 'Somewhere in the Middle' between the girl you were and the one you want to be, how do you plan on changing that? Is there a barrier you feel you can't climb? Knowing God is for you and this study group is for you, is there a way we can help?

I think the path of discipleship will always have me somewhere in the middle of where I was and where I'm going to be. Because every time I reach one destination, God shows me a further goal to develop my trust and relationship with Him. As I've said before, I love that the journey is never stagnant--calm sometimes, frantic others, but always moving and growing in grace. I don't have specific barriers I need to climb. Just need to keep persevering in the Lord.

Blessings to you for reading. I pray you were encouraged.

Chapter 4, Lesson 13--I AM Your Portion

Lisa has created another great installment of the I AM Bible Study based on Genesis 15:1, Leviticus 26:6-13, Exodus 34:6, Genesis 22:18 and Galatians 3:8. Here are my answers to the study questions.



BURNING QUESTIONS
1. Do you struggle with a sense of self-worth? How do you perceive this has affected the way you are able to 'keep your head upright'? If not, do you know someone who suffers in this area?

Not anymore. I was once totally convinced that my only worth was in academic performance and no one cared at all for the person I was outside of that. That lack of self-confidence, coupled with natural shyness, made me totally afraid to speak out. Since my spiritual gifts are speaking gifts (predominantly teaching) I was totally ineffective in the things that God called me to do. Which led me to beat myself up for not following God's lead that made me even more ineffective. It really is a vicious cycle. When I finally 'got it' that my worth is in Christ alone, then I was able to 'keep my head upright' and allow Him to shine through my gifts.

2. What are you most afraid of? Does this fear affect the way you move through life? (Ex. Are you overprotective with children? Afraid to take risks?)

I am most afraid of disappointing those I care about the most. It has, in the past, led to a fear of trying anything and a paralysis. Now it is more healthy--it causes me to evaluate how my actions may or may not impact others but it does not keep me from moving forward (because my desire to not disappoint God outweighs my fear of disappointing man--most of the time, lol).

3. What is one of the most marvelous ways God has provided a need? I can't wait to hear your stories on this one!

When German left his job last year, we also lost the home we were living in because it was leased by his employer (typical arrangement for expats). We found a house that we wanted and God paved the way for us to be able to rent it, with no income to list on the application! Then, He provided the job offer we were believing would come. As it turned out, German ended one job on Friday and began the new job on Monday. We never missed a paycheck--which was totally the blessing of God providing for us.

4. Steve Brown, a Moody Broadcasting Bible Teacher, is one of the first people I ever heard teach the concept that God was not mad at me. I grew up in a denomination that led me to believe He was in a continuous state of disappointment over my failures. How about you? Though in your heart you know God says He loves you, does Satan in your mind ever try to convince you otherwise?

Being a parent has helped me understand how God can demand and expect obedience and holiness, but does not stay in a state of anger toward me. Even when I am the most frustrated with the girls' behavior, I never am in a state of not loving them or being too disappointed to move forward. And since God is the perfect parent, He can look past the failures to see the heart even more. Satan, of course, tries to disuade me on God's love--but he can only succeed on those days that I choose to walk my own path rather than remain in God's love and protection.

5. How close are you to your own Promised Land? Not at all, 1/2 way, almost there? By this I mean the place of abundant living and effectiveness here on earth, not the ultimate fulfillment in Glory! Though I hope you are going to heaven, I don't want it to be today! :)

There are days that I am definitely in the promised land, living the abundant life that God has called me to. Other days, I'm on the banks looking in--I totally get that God has a life of abundance for me but I just don't always walk in it. The glorious thing about the promise land is that it is always abundant and is not stagnant. When I live in His abundance He is able to give me more and more and more. Glory!

Thanks Lisa for another great installment! Hope you, my readers, are being blessed by this study the way I am. If you are blessed by it, and would like to participate, Lisa is starting the study over again beginning tomorrow 29 August. I'd love to read your answers as well.

I AM--Lesson Twelve, A Face With The Name

What a blessing it is every week to work through the questions that Lisa at The Preacher's Wife proposes in this awesome Bible Study. God is opening my eyes to things I can't even put into words. I pray that you will be blessed by the lesson as well. The background passages are Exodus 33 and John 14. I have long loved Moses' plea for God not to send them forward without His presence. But this week it is John 14:8-9 that is teaching me the most:

Philip said, "Lord show us the Father and that will be enough for us". Jesus answered, "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father."

Praying that you recognize the Father this week as He reveals Himself.

Burning Questions


1. We discussed how we are God's fame and He is ours. Have you ever been in a situation where you are applauded for your ministry and had to fight back the idol of pride? Ever been tempted to believe your own press? It's okay to admit it! Your testimony will help others in their resolve!
(warning, this answer is an epistle!)
I'm a Bible teacher. I love teaching Scripture. I love doing the word studies and the background work and knowing the little tidbits to help bring the lesson to life. And I often get comments on the work that I do. Notice that phrase, that I do. *sigh* I believe that Satan uses this as a common temptation to make Bible teachers ineffective. He wants us to believe that we are doing the studying and doing the teaching and effecting lives. He wants us to believe our own press. And I have totally been guilty of it--and then found myself bewildered that the class was not being blessed for my efforts. God continually teaches me that He has Bible study groups--and He graciously allows me to be the physical teacher. It is His class, not mine.
Two or three years ago, He reminded me in a big way that He was the leader and He held the group together not me and my winsome personality. There was a discussion about world religions and that "everyone prayed to the same God so surely everyone would go to heaven." When I definitively and not so tactfully stated that I did NOT pray to the same god as other world religions (that little g is purposeful) and that the ONLY way to heaven was Jesus, my dear friend who had made the original statement said that she could no longer be in my group if that is what I truly believed. I do not regret what I said--God's truth is a non-negotiable. And although I might could have been more diplomatic in my choice of words, I don't believe in sugar-coating truth. What I regretted for a long time is that she didn't trust *me* enough to come *my* study, when I needed to be praying about whether or not she trusted *God* enough to hear *His* truth. Our friendship mended, but I could never be her teacher again. God clearly broke my heart in showing me that only He is the teacher, I'm just a vessel. I hope that is a lesson I never have to repeat.
2. Did it ever occur to you in the 3-way drama of God, Job, and Satan that Satan was the only one outside the loop as far as Job's reactions would be? Does this encourage you in resolving to make a fool of him when he attempts to use you to defame the Name?
This is a new way of thinking about this passage for me. I do think that it is encouraging that God can already see the outcome, and He knows my heart desire to serve Him; only Satan underestimates how much I want to be faithful.

3. Are you in a situation now where you feel you are being overcome? Better yet, are you in a situation where you should have been overcome but are not?
I have a family history of depression. I have, by God's grace, escaped that for the most part. But the last few weeks I have been pulled down and felt that this time I might be overcome by it all. I wasn't, but the experience reminded me that we can be overcome so easily if we let our guard down. I must be continually seeking God's face in order to not be overwhelmed by life's circumstances. Only by seeking Him can He help me overcome.
4. Have you failed in a Satan-designed trial? Can you recognize God intends for this failure to refine and resolve you for next time? God is not out for your destruction but your perfection!
I don't think I failed the Satan-designed trial of recent memory, but I certainly didn't pass with flying colors either. I stayed focused on God's truth in the matter, but I allowed my ego to dictate how I responded. I totally see how God has used that (and uses that) to make me into someone who will respond more like Him the next trial.

5. Can you describe yourself as a Wonders Junkie? Found yourself in spiritual highs and lows depending on whether you perceived God was doing wondrous things or not?
No. Don't get me wrong, I love to see the wonders. But I really delight in seeing God in the mundane, the normal and with the things I more readily relate.

6. Have you ever been like Philip and had God right in your face and not recognized Him?
Oh yes! Often I look back and think, "well...duh?" Why is it so much easier to see God after the fact. (And is there some imagery in there that Moses saw God's back not full-face glory?...)
7. Journal a brief prayer asking God for His Glory. Let it be the thing we all desire above all else.....
Oh, God how I desire to know Your goodness. I want Your Character to seep into the pores of my whole being. I know that You show yourself all. the. time. Give me eyes that recognize Your glory and a life that reflects it. Amen.

I AM Study--Lesson 11, Fist Shakers vs Faith Takers

Lisa at The Preacher's Wife has given us another awesome installment of this study. The passage is from Joshua 2 and is about Rahab. Please come along and learn from her insights.

Burning Questions

1. When is the last time you encountered a Fist Shaker? This may be a stranger to you or as close as a loved one in your own home. Does anything in our description help you to understand their animosity towards God? Are you able to have more compassion towards them?

I have a friend who was once an awesome faith taker. But she has become a fist shaker. She is angry with God--over past hurts, over her mom's death, over perceived injustices and mostly over God's willingness to forgive and His demand for us to forgive as well. She has chosen bitterness over forgiveness. She chooses to live in her fears rather than be vulnerable before God. It breaks my heart. I totally see how she became angry, but it is often hard to understand why she chooses to stay there. As much as I love her and pray for her, honestly I have to daily ask God for compassion towards her. I want to love her with compassion, but pity is so much easier. God continues to work in my heart on this issue.

2. Does anything about Rahab's redemption strike a nerve? This may be a question you would like to ponder privately. Sexual sin and/or victimization can be an area where Satan has an enormous stronghold because it can hold so many painful and shameful memories. If Rahab teaches us anything, please know God can redeem any life and any situation, no matter how heinous it seems, and plant you unashamedly 'in the midst of Israel'. Rahab deserved death according to Mosaic Law, however she was shown nothing but lovingkindness by the God and nation of Israel.

Redemption of any sort strikes a chord with me! My past may not be the same as Rahab's, but it is just as sinful and just as *filthy* in the site of God. As I really look at me in all of my wretchedness, how can I not be grateful? And knowing that those who know the real me still choose to love me, well that is just amazing!

3. Is there an area of your life in which you feel you have come full circle? Where you've come to a place where everything and nothing are the same? (I'm thinking Lord of the Rings when Frodo goes back to the Shire after his long adventure. You have no clue what I just said if you are not an LOTR nerd so just ignore this if it doesn't make sense! :)

ok, not a LOTR fan so the illustration is lost on me, lol. I do see areas of my life where God brings me back to people or situations or circumstances to allow me to see how He has grown me. I come "full circle" to find that I don't have to react the same way anymore. That is always exciting.

4. When you were born again, did you gain a new appreciation for your surroundings as Rahab did when she received the Promise along with the Promised Land? Has some old place, object, or relationship been redeemed by now serving a 'high and holy purpose'?

I was seven when I asked Jesus to be my Savior so, praise God, I don't have a lot of night/day perspectives of life before and life after salvation. But I do have turning points in my life: Places where I see God revealing sin and habits and behaviors and dealing with them and then allowing me to move on from there. I'm doing Beth Moore's "Believing God" study where she defines our promised land as places where our theology meets our reality. I see that. I see places where God is so real in my life that there is no difference between what I profess and what I do. I long for that promise land authenticity in all aspects of my life so that my whole life is serving a "high and holy purpose."

5. Believers can still be Fist Shakers. Do you have circumstances in your life in which you find yourself shaking your fist at God? Something He has asked you to endure, asked you to do, seemingly taken away from you? Can you see how shaking your fist is keeping you from your Promise? (I'm not talking eternal security here - Only abundant living.)

There are constant struggles in my life to let go of the control and allow Him to make me the parent that He calls me to be. Fear of failure, fear of repeating the past, fear of .... can often lead me to places where I shake my fist at His high calling rather than trust in faith that He cares for my girls even more than I do. I fear this may be a struggle until they are grown and then some, but I pray I'll get better at letting go.

Bless you as you seek to be faith takers in your life!

I AM--Lesson 10--Keeping it in the Family

Lisa's back with another installment of this awesome study. If you haven't been following the study, it is not too late!

The background passage this week is Exodus 32:9-14. The focal verse is verse 12:

"Why should the Egyptians speak, saying, 'With evil intent He brought them out to kill them in the mountains and to destroy them from the face of the earth? Turn from your burning anger and change Your mind about doing harm to Your people."

Wow! Moses was bold! But, as Lisa points out in the study, the point was that the world was watching how God handled His people, and His reputation was at stake. And with that teaser (go read the study at The Preachers Wife), here are the discussion questions:

1. Have you ever experienced trials that were best dealt with "in the family" for either your reputation's sake or God's? You may still choose to leave them there, but you are welcome to share if you are comfortable.
Oh, yes. In my case "the family" turned out to be a couple of Godly friends (one who I married) and a minister. It was God's blessing that He dealt with my sin openly and decisively, but not in such a manner that was so well-known to harm the ministry that He had begun and of which I was a part. He cared for my reputation, yes, but His reputation and ministry were utmost importance.

2. Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre circumstance and later were able to walk someone through the same/similar situation? Did you recognize the hand of God in it?
"Bizarre" seems to follow me. :) I can think of several situations that just didn't make sense at the time (sometimes still do not make sense) but later there was someone experiencing similar losses or circumstances. I definitely see the hand of God in those times.

3. I was in my late twenties before I ever let myself believe God was for me instead of waiting to smack me upside the head every time I made a mistake. Do you truly believe God is on your side?
Yes, oh Yes!

4. If God has ever had you in the Holy Spirit Choke hold (and who hasn't He?), how have you reacted to God's chastisement? Were you bitter? Brokenhearted? Grateful?
Yes. :) lol Actually, bitter is rarely something that hinders me. But angry and frustrated, hurt and brokenhearted, definitely. Ultimately, as I see the power that comes from discipline getting things out of my life I am grateful.

5. Write a brief prayer of Thanksgiving for God's long suffering. brief??
Father God, it is daunting to understand that when you called me as your child thirty-two years ago You knew even then the journey I would take. You knew the times I would turn away. You knew I would be selfish, miss out on blessings, make a mess of things and break your heart. But You loved me anyway. And you called me anyway. In doing that You made me a child of a King. Your patience and your perseverance to change me from a royal mess (and a royal brat) into a royal Princess amazes me. I stand in awe t hat you LOVE me that much. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always being there when I return. Thank you for desiring my best and parenting me to develop into Your likeness. Thank you for Your mercy and Your compassion in the midst of the discipline. Thank you. Just, thank you. In Jesus Precious Name....Amen

I AM--Lesson Nine, I AM Your Fame: A Set Up for a Show Up

This week's lesson from Lisa at The Preacher's Wife is absolutely amazing. The scripture reading is Exodus 5:1-7:7. Hop on over to her site for the commentary. Here are my answers to the discussion questions.



Discussion Questions:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself on how often your conversation is seasoned with the works of the Lord on your behalf? If you speak very little of Him, is there a reason you know of? If you speak often, how do people respond?



I'd say that I'd rate myself about an 8. Talking about God in my life is so natural to me, I don't even realize I'm doing it at times. But I do get responses to my "God talk." I think some people around me (in particular a few taxi drivers who listen to me and the girls regularly) think I'm just some kind of fanatic. Some friends have expressed that they wish they could talk about what God is doing as naturally as I do (I, of course, tell them they can!). Others are more than willing to reciprocate with what God is doing in their life. Quite a varied response.


2. Have you experienced a Set Up for a Show Up when you were uncertain whether the situation was the chastisement of the Lord or a temptation of Satan?



I'm sure I have experienced this, but honestly nothing specific is coming to mind. So many of the times that God has displayed His wonders in my life, it was brought on by my stupidity or disobedience and He showed up anyway to fix it. Thank God for mercy. I have been an actor in a Set up to Show up in a friend's life. It was/is definitely God moving and setting things up to show His glory. Unfortunately that friend just doesn't want to see that it is God. I still stand hopeful and prayerful waiting for the outcome. (I wonder if other's could say that about my life, that they see God setting it up but I'm missing it? something more to think about)


3. Have you ever or are you now experiencing any Job trials where you can still not identify any wrong-doing on your part?



I have in the past walked a path that, even years later, I see no wrong-doing on my part to start the trial. Unfortunately, my response was not very Job-like and I may have had to endure the trial longer than was really necessary. But God showed Himself faithful through it and it was a tremendous faith-builder in the long run.


4. Apply this principle: How can my response make my God famous? Will obedience result in my sanctification and God's Glory?



How can my response make my God famous? People watch us. They notice when we respond with grace and mercy, especially in disgraceful and unmerciful circumstances. When I respond as God would have me respond and give Him the credit for allowing me to respond like that, people take notice. The glory comes when I say "I do it because of God" and allow people to see Him shine instead of me cope.

Will obedience result in my sanctification and God's glory? I believe yes. We have to be careful not to act as if our obedience gets us to heaven--that is only through the blood of Jesus. But when I choose to obey, it makes me more like Jesus (which is the core of what sanctification means to me). And if I am more like Jesus, I am pointing to the Father and therefore God is getting the glory.


5. Does the origin of our affliction matter in view of the fame God can gain from it?


I think the origin of our affliction brings different kinds of fame for God. I believe that when people see us cope and give God glory during a perceived unjust circumstance they take more notice. They are able to see grace under pressure. They are able to see peace that passes understanding. And as they think, "I couldn't bear that" and we tell them "neither can we but God can" they get a picture of God's power and might. And that spreads the renown of His name.

However, when the source of our affliction is our own sinfulness people identify differently. They know that they fail. When they see us fail and see God deliver us from the circumstance of our failure (or through the circumstances in some cases) they can resonate with wanting that in their life. Therefore the fame of His compassion and His grace and His mercy are spread.

Different afflictions show the different characteristics of God--but all spread His glory.



Hope you enjoy this week's study! Thank you Lisa!

I AM--Lesson Eight, Instrument of Wonders

Yay! Lisa's back! I have missed this study the last couple of weeks, but I'm glad Lisa had a good time away with her family.



Here are this week's discussion quesitons. For the full discussion, please visit The Preacher's Wife.



1. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to 'go back' to a place of shame or ridicule? How did that make you feel?

Oh, yes, many times I've had to "go back" to the point of shame or ridicule in order to see it from God's perspective and let Him heal it. Sometimes it is a virtual going back--revisiting the feeling and emotions. Other times I have had to physically go back to the place or the people who were present (or even causing the ridicule). Neither is easy. I'd say the overall feeling in those times was uneasiness, ineffectiveness and that of being small. But at that time God has always shown me His sufficiency, His effectiveness and His greatness.



2. Is there any circumstance in your life that still has you running for cover? Share if you feel comfortable.

I wouldn't say I'm running for cover. There are situations that I am more acutely aware of needing God's armor because they are not going to be easy or pleasant. I feel that is just part of God's teaching me to be more aware and more prepared.



3. When is the last time you felt like an overcomer?

I've been feeling like an overcomer a lot these days. I am putting to rest some nagging thoughts regarding a friend. I am seeing God reveal Himself in my marriage as I learn to respect more and talk less. My diet is more and more under God's control--and the weight is coming off. I am becoming more the parent I want to be and not allowing my childhood to encroach as often. God is blessing me. He is soooo good!



4. If you have not yet taken the serpent by the tail, are you willing to stop running, take hold and trust God to transform it into a tool for wonders?

I believe I am allowing God to transform my serpents into tools of wonder. It is so amazing to see the results!



5. I would like for you to write down this statement based on 1 John 2:14 somewhere you will see it often this week: "I am strong, the Word of God abides in me, and I have overcome the evil one." Memorize it. Say it over and over until you believe it. Will you do this?? Most of the time, there are no right or wrong answers, but on this one, I'm expecting a 'yes'!

well....if you insist ;) I did a study of 1 John last year that spoke volumes to me. So, yes, I'll memorize it!



Thank you all for visiting! Thank you Lisa for teaching us so much through this study. Bless you!

I AM---Lesson Seven, Who am I?

Another great week with Lisa's study! Here are my answers to the discussion questions. Please visit here to get the background study as well.



Discussion Questions:

1. How would you answer the questions, "Who Am I?" I really like the words God gave me as I was writing my profile for who I am. I'm a lot of people--but all wrapped up in the title Redeemed Child of The Holy God.



2. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt inadequate because of your lack of a 'tagline'?

At first I struggled to think of a situation. But then God reminded me of one of my first teaching roles in our former church. I was teaching "Decision Making" course that was about counseling folk who came to the church to make membership/salvation/or other decisions. I thought I was ready. I knew my material. I'm a good speaker (at least I think so). Then I saw my class: three deacons and one deacon wife, all 25+ years my elder, all with more experience sharing the Gospel than I would ever hope to achieve. I was intimidated. I felt totally inadequate--and that is probably the favorite class I have ever taught. They were so gracious and teachable and I loved it. The tagline doesn't always matter.



3. Do you have skills or position that you believe God could use mightily if only He would?

Hmmmm...I have skills and experiences that I believe that God is using (teaching, writing, insight from years as a social worker). I have skills that are not currently being called upon. But the 'if only He would' bothers me--who am I to tell Him which skills He should use? I find, often, when I try to tell God how He should use me, He clearly (and painfully) reminds me that I am not Him. More of that trust stuff I've been trying to learn.



4. Have you ever lost a position or station in life you believe could have 'helped God out' with something He has asked you to do? If you haven't lost out, do you perhaps feel you have to gain this in order to be useful to the Kingdom?

I was once on church staff. I was part of the 'inner circle' that influenced so much of what was happening in the church. When we moved, there was a sense of loss for that position because of how I perceived God using me through it. (there was also a sense of relief that I no longer had that kind of responsibility) I realized later that I needed to not be in that position until God had time to dull the sharp edges of pride that I developed in that time. As much as I thought I was 'helping God out' I was probably more of a hindrance. By 'losing' the position and the pride associated with it, I have gained so much more.



5. How are you with your dialogue vs. doubt conversations with God? Which does God hear most from you?

I talk to God pretty much all the time that I am not talking to my kids, husband or another person. I have a steady conversation going on in my head. It does include the doubt conversations, because I think God is perfectly able to handle my doubts. But honestly the conversation is more of a monologue. I am convicted in this study that I need to shut up more often to allow God to speak. Then, and only then, can I call it a dialogue. *sigh*



6. Do you believe God's Wonders become more wonderful if they originate in the ordinary? Any Scripture references come to mind?

I think that wonders are wonderful period. I think we recognize the wonder out of the ordinary more because it is easy to expect extraordinary from extraordinary. When God moves in the unlikely, it is difficult to deny. There were a myriad of Scriptures that came to mind, but my favorite OT story reminds me of God's wonders. In Joshua 11:6-12, Caleb is claiming his mountain that was promised when he was a truthful spy forty-five years before. He tells Joshua, at age 85 he is just as strong as he was at 40 and he is ready to conquer his mountain--and he does. God enables an 85 year old faithful servant to keep the strength of his youth. And the victory was more wonderful because of the unlikelihood. I want to be aware of how God is strengthening me when I am faithfully following His lead.

I AM--Lesson Six, Westside of the Wilderness

Here are my responses to this week's I Am study over at Lisa's place. Although the answers may seem a little short/curt, the thought process to get here was longer. I just found that conveying the emotion of the study into answers was not very simple.



1. How current is your God? Is he up to date on all your issues or do you have old hurts you still hold behind your back?



As far as what God has revealed to me, I believe that He is current and up-to-date. There are issues that rise--often new perspectives on old hurts, and at that time I seek to move where He is leading. I'm learning to trust His timing in bringing issues to mind.


2. Has the enemy ever told you there are situations that are 'old news' that are better left stuffed down? Or perhaps because they were so long ago they can't possibly be affecting you now?



Absolutely. The enemy will try any tactic to make us insufficient. And for years he whispered to me that it was better to just "stuff it" because that was the generational way of coping in my family. But, the glorious truth is that the enemy is a liar and that nothing is so "old news" that I can't deal with it in a Godly way. Thank the Lord He is teaching me that lesson.


3. In the matter of established authority, does God truly reign in your life? Where are you when He calls your name?



My heart's desire is for God to be God of everything in my life. I try to daily (or multiple times during the day, lol) thoughtfully and honestly put God on the throne and take myself off. There are the times I totally fall for the temptation to put my tiara back on and pretend I'm master of my life. Those times seem to be fewer and further between. I pray that I am always where I can hear Him when He calls my name.


4. Do you ever feel God has forgotten you in your 'west side of the wilderness'?



No. I don't feel forgotten. Often I wish the wilderness trip didn't have to be so hard, but I don't feel abandoned.


5. Have you ever experienced a time of cleansing where God has illuminated and rejuvenated you? If not, do you find you are in need of this now?



Yes I have experienced this. This is the question I am having the most difficult time explaining. Those times come, often unexpected, and just wow me. Not often am I speechless but God rejuvenates where words can't describe.



Thanks for another great study Lisa!

I AM---Lesson 5 "I Was"

1. Have you ever found yourself 'in faith' yet bewildered or demoralized?

Yes. After miscarriage number two (at 14 weeks) I was totally 'in faith' that we would be or have the family that God intended. But I was still heartbroken, bewildered and confused why we were unable to have "this" child. It was compounded by the whys. The baby was trisomy-21 and the doctor said it just didn't make it. The week we learned the "why", friends at church had a beautiful little girl--trisomy21. I could not understand why ours didn't make it and theirs did. I still don't understand the why, but God did give us the family He intended.

2. Do you consider yourself content? Would you describe it as Decidedly Content or Dreamily Content?

I am content. I am dreamily content in that I love watching German with the girls and get that "how can I be so lucky" feeling. I walk through my house and review my life and am just amazed at how much God has blessed me. But I am also decidedly content. I choose to be happy wherever God (and the job) lead us, with the things that we are able to do, and the current situations. I could spend my life saying "what if" but that would be so much of a waste.

3. If you are not content, are there circumstances that keep you from this feeling?
I was tempted to just say "not applicable" but then I realized that a situation arose yesterday that I am unsettled and discontent over. I need to spend some time with God choosing to be content in it, even if it is decidedly going to a place that is NLIP.

4. Have you ever found yourself in a place where you looked back on a period of your Christian walk and believed a great opportunity passed you by?
Honestly, no. I look back and think "I could have done that better" or "I could have spoken sooner" or something along those lines. But I don't see "great opportunities" that pass me by. I try to keep the perspective that everything in the past shapes me to who I am in the present.

5. Do you ever believe your faith was stronger in an earlier time in your Christianity and find yourself floundering now?
I believe that I am in a great period of growing in and trusting God. I think my faith has changed over the years--become less childlike and more adult, more of a deliberate choice, more foundational. Yes, it has ebbed and flowed with life, but always seems stronger for the experience. Sometimes I am nostalgic for the "just loving and believing in God" faith I had as a child, but I really appreciate the faith I have now that is based up seeing God's faithfulness and believing Him no matter what.

6. Can you recognize that this season may be one of great preparation instead of a period of "I Was"?
I believe each season of our life is preparing and growing us for the next. It is in looking back to the periods of "I Was" I can see what God has kept me from being. I don't have to dwell on "I Was" (infertile, miscarriage, unbalanced in school/work/church life, disobedient, prideful or whatever) because God has brought me through those times (and continues to bring me through) to be the mentor and minister I am today. And He will take these times in my life, good and bad, to make me an even greater mentor and minister for the future. That is the glory of it---a life in Christ is never stagnant. Hallelujah!

I AM-- Lesson 4

I am determined to get this posted before Lisa posts the next lesson. I have had it completed for a few days, but have not had time to type it in. Forgive the short time line between lessons. I really loved this lesson. Dealing with my call and how that plays out is a large part of who I am as a mentor, minister, mother and wife. I find difficult to even articulate what God did in my life as He made me aware that I was Called. The specifics of what I am to be doing changes with the seasons of my life, but the calling is always there. Glory! Now for the questions:

1. I am going to present to you a little acrostic to begin our discussion today. What is your latest NLIP (Not Like I Planned)? I actually have two current NLIPs. The first is I never planned for it to be difficult for my husband to transition jobs. He loves what he is doing, but the stressors are different than we anticipated and I find myself unsure how to support him at times. The other NLIP, and really the biggie for me, is how difficult it has been to find a person who can be a soul friend and accountability partner here locally. I have wonderful accountability people all over the world, but not someone here that can look in my eyes and heart and see the real me. Causes me trust God's hand more and be accountable only to Him, but it is not how I prefer it.

2. How did you react to your NLIP? Are you still upset about it? Happy about it? Baffled by it? Explain. With my husband I tend to be protective want to fret and fuss that it is not happening the way I planned. But I so clearly see God's hand in the transition, so mainly I am just trying to be flexible. With my stuff, I am saddened that it is not easier to create those friendships but I do trust that in His time they will come. I am somewhat baffled that what appears to be a Godly desire was not met immediately, but it is part of my trust-development and I want to trust Him more than I want my way.

3. Have you ever attempted to step into an area of ministry and found your desire rejected? Did this cause you to question God and yourself? Perhaps distrust what you perceived to be your calling? In my early days of my call, I found road blocks due to the fact that I felt called to go to seminary. As a Southern Baptist woman that was not overwhelmingly welcomed. I never doubted myself or my call. In fact, when my pastor at the time asked (in the meeting to decide whether to endorse me to seminary), "little lady what do you think you can do for God in the church as a woman" God gave me the answer I needed, and I clung to that answer. I responded that "God created me a woman, He put me in a Baptist family and He called me to ministry. Whether I understood how He was going to fulfill that, I had to believe He was big enough to meld the three." (they endorsed me with no further questions) So when I question my call, I remind myself of Who created me and Who called me.

4. Do you harbor any bitterness towards any individual or situation which you believe waylaid your best laid plans? There is friend who I believe waylaid many of my plans. The situation was deeply disappointing, but I have refused to let bitterness take hold and just tried to learn from it.

5. Have you had a life experience or trial that left you with a shaken faith because it ended in an NLIP? yes (the above situation) but I don't feel it would be right to elaborate.

6. Based on Moses' response of faith to his own rejection, how will you re-evaluate your own experiences or look at future ones differently if a NLIP presents itself? God is always at work. I find myself trusting this more and more as I see how God works through NLIPs. I hope to be able to do that on a deeper level in the future.

I AM Bible Study

Lisa at The Preacher's Wife has started leading an awesome Bible Study via her blog. I got a late start, since I was on holiday. I originally thought that I would just print it and do it later. But the comments and the posts regarding it have been so great, I found that I couldn't wait. So here is a very long catch-up post to do the three lessons that have been posted so far. It's (obviously) not to late to start. If you'd like to join in go here for the intro or click the button above.

Lesson One: I AM your Beauty

Are there circumstances or relationships in your life where you can see God has intentionally placed you to be a light for them?
The simple answer is yes. There are women He has given me to mentor. There is a lady who I spend time with who is in a difficult place of decision making. The decisions are similar to ones we made a year ago and I know it is a God-incidence that we are together.

Can you honestly describe yourself as a woman with a "yes" in her spirit?
I am a woman who desires to have a "yes-Spirit." I do not always follow through with the desire, but I am growing in that area. Sometimes I still ask for details or confirmation before saying yes, and I know that is an area where I need work. I need to trust enough to say yes and allow Him to confirm the details in His timing.

Are you in an emotionally and spiritually healthy place today? yes
If so, what will you do with your series of unrecurring events? Will you continue to ask for Spiritual eyes to see opportunities to defend a weaker sister?
I'll continue to mentor, to teach ladies Bible Study, to stand in the gap with my accountability partner and for a friend who struggles with her faith, and I'll continue to seek His face regarding a friend who has fallen away as a prodigal, praying that I can be light to her again someday.

Lesson Two: Beautiful to God
What is your initial response when anyone suggests you are beautiful?
I was always the "smart" cousin not the "beautiful" one (I had two who competed for that role). So my initial response is disbelief. Told enough times as a child that you are plain, you begin to believe it. Although I am coming to a recognition of beauty in Christ, I'm still uncomfortable if a tangible person says it.

Do you find you engage in a lot of negative self-talk? How much of your thought life does this form of thinking consume?
I don't do much negative self-talk anymore. Once upon a time my life was consumed with it. Now I would say it would be way less than 10% of my thoughts, and most of those would be fleeting negative thoughts not dwell-upon-them thoughts.

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a City Girl? How do you plan to use this knowledge?
I love this thought. My whole life, this farm-girl knew I belonged in the City. My mother would say I was a city girl trapped on the farm from the time I was little. There was a need for me to interact with people differently than I could "in the middle of nowhere". As I've grown I have realized that it was not a geographical need, it was spiritual. I started seeking a community of accountability and believers at a young age. This illustration just brings my inner feelings into articulation! How do I plan to use the knowledge? First to realize that I am not out of step with everyone else, I'm in step with God. Second, to trust that He will lead me to be with the people who need to see "something different." And third, to constantly and deliberately allow God to make me someone who will attract others to Him.

In what ways has your views of Godly beauty changed as a result of these Scriptures?
Reinforces my need to look on the inner and not the outer package.

Lesson Three: When Life Doesn't Work Out Like You Planned, part 1
It was stated in the lesson that God has made you "once, twice, three times a lady." Where are you in this progression? Obviously we have all been physically born, but are you 'twice a lady'? Have you been born again spiritually? This may be a private matter you'd like to discuss confidentially...If you have already received this gift, write a brief prayer of thanksgiving or testimony.
When I was seven I knew that I wanted to go to heaven with Jesus and because of the bad things I had done, the only way I could go was through Him. I made a decision based on the best I could understand at that age. As a young teen, I surrendered more to Jesus as Lord and not just Savior. I believe that decision at a young age protected me from so much that friends struggled with as well as prepared me for the ministries that were to come. (If you would like to know more, email me through my profile, I'm trying to keep it brief.)

Are you three times a lady? Has God given you a stirring deep within your Spirit to be a 'deliverer'? Do you have a desire or are you already meeting a need in the life of the church, a particular ministry (such as jail ministry, food ministry, etc.) or perhaps individuals who share common issues?
I have a strong desire to see people discipled, drawing people to the depths of God's word and to not be content with just "milk." I do lead a weekly Bible Study to that end, plus have a couple of people in my life that I mentor in that area.

Do you ever get tired of waiting for that opportunity to do something worthwhile for God? do you ever feel God is using someone else instead of you?
No. I don't get tired waiting for opportunity to come. I do have moments where I wish I could do more, and I believe the day will come when I am able to do more in terms of teaching and writing. However right now, my main calling is to grow Godly daughters and I am content to wait on the other while they are little. I am learning to treasure the time that I do have.

What do you consider 'worthwhile ministry'? Are you like me and sometimes find yourself thinking it has to be Big to be Important?
Worthwhile ministry is whatever God calls and enables. I've never equated big with important. When I was a little girl I remember my grandmother taking Sunday afternoons to write notes to those who missed church that day. She would tell us, "it's not much but it shows them they are important." At her funeral, more than one person commented on how much those notes meant to them. I think she instilled in me that God's calling makes the job important, no matter how small.

Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? If yes, what are yours?
I've done several spiritual gift inventories over the years. The results consistently indicate teaching, pastor/shepherd, wisdom, and knowledge. Those are consistent with the passions God has given me as well.