I'm Back, A Change of Focus, and a Word for 2022

     I'm going to try this writing thing again.  Obviously, a lot has happened in three years. To me, to my family and to the world.  I've been writing, but it has been private reflection.  You will probably see some of that, but not all.  To recap in a nutshell: we moved back to Texas, culture shock set in, the world went crazy and I began to seriously look at the prejudice and separations that set up my childhood, continued to experience culture shock, COVID-19 hit, Rod lost his dad (not to COVID), we bought a house and decided to put our roots in Texas, I lost my Dad/Hero/Best Friend to COVID, I lost my brother to COVID, I totally untethered from plans, I wrote for my sanity and now I think I'm ready to re-connect with the world.  We'll see how long it lasts.  But for the two of you who still check in, I'm here.

    My focus of the blog has always been faith, homeschooling, memory recording and hobbies.  Faith will continue to be the focus, but you will see more of how my faith questions culture, and experience, and expectation.  I'll probably write more about justice, entitlement, and discomfort. I'm just giving you fair warning. I am not the same person who stepped away from the blog in 2018. World circumstances and a lot of time with God have changed me. So I may not hold as many ideas back in the coming days.

    As you may remember, I always have a word for the year.  In 2018 I was working through the idea of being on the Outskirts and reaching those on the outskirts and reflecting on Job 26:14. My word for 2019 was Hope as we continued to wait on God for a job and a place to settle.  In 2020 I started the year with FOCUS since Gemma was to graduate and I didn't want to miss the little things of her ending "childhood" as she became an adult.  I took 2021 off from having a word for the year. Last year was about survival and grief; introspection and asking hard questions and looking past actions directly in the face in light of racism and judgmental attitudes. It was hard and exhausting. So, to be honest, I wasn't sure I even wanted to find a focus word for 2022. But, as so often happens, things began to point me in a general direction.

    One thing I did in 2020 was add plants to my house and I planted a garden. The houseplants survive--the garden did not. In fact, it was a spectacular failure. But it did not deter my dream to grow things. So, I began to think about cultivation as a word, but it was not quite right. In my world reading I picked up the book Where the Wind Leads: A Refugee Family's Miraculous Story of Loss, Rescue and Redemption by Vinh Chung with Tim Downs. In that book, the author spoke of the Vietnamese expression Mất Gấc or "to lose root." The idea, as an immigrant, one loses root as they forget where they came from as they adapt to a new country and culture.  So language, tradition, and cultural clues which root us to our heritage can be lost in transition. Although no longer an immigrant, the idea resonated with me. The last four years have been hard to regain American roots, hold onto European roots that had become so much a part of us, and remember how all of those roots come together in me and my family. Then, in losing my Dad and then my brother this past year, the physical family roots were also severed. I have felt untethered. Just as we were buying a home to put down roots, it felt like everything was pulled up.  So to the germinating 😉 idea of cultivation, I added the idea of roots.

    I still did not have my word for 2022, just an idea. Every couple of years I seriously revisit the Proverbs 31 Woman to see which of her seasons of life I'm aligning with (I don't think this description of her is at one moment but over the course of a lifetime.) In that review, I "found" Proverbs 31:16:

"She considers a field and buys it; With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard."

Maybe this is what I was seeking.  As I began to solidify "plant" as my word, someone posted this quote from wordables.com on their Instagram:

"May the tears you cried in 2021 water the seed you're planting in 2022."

And then I was certain. My word for 2022 is:

PLANT

So in 2022, I am going to PLANT:

• The Word of God in my heart with intentional Bible Study and Scripture Memory
• The Word of God in Women's hearts as I teach and lead
• Stronger Family Roots as I redefine family traditions, record family history, and tell the stories
• Family Memories as we make the most of the next few months before family dynamics are redefined
• Trust and Freedom as we release two of our children to the world this Autumn
• Seeds of Change in myself and others as I tackle the difficult -ism conversations and stay true to what God is teaching me
• Actual vegetable seeds as we try to garden, part 2.

I'm excited about what God will do in 2022.  Thank you for joining me on this journey.  What's your focus/dream/goal for this year?

 

photo credit: apples @ morguefile.com

Making More from Less

German is a self-confessed packrat.  He doesn't easily let go of things. He collects many things.  So after working for one company for 18 years, he had accumulated some things from work.  Some of those things were t-shirts.  This company did a lot in the community--and each project came with its own t-shirt. Over fifty of them, if one was counting. I finally took those t-shirts that were taking up space in a spare wardrobe and did something with them.

So now, we have one double-sided quilt full of memories. And a lot less in the closet. Win-win.

Coming Full Circle

Those of you who have followed me for a while know that we, as a family, went through a very difficult time as things fell apart at a previous church. It was a defining moment in my life, so I wanted to give you an update of how it ended.

I had come to the point that there were friendships that were over and I would never find the reconciliation that my heart so desired.  I had forgiven..and then been bitter again..and forgiven again and again and again. I knew that God had worked much healing in my heart, but it was altered and it still hurt.

One early morning I got out of bed, checked email as I do every morning. This particular morning there was an email from the person I had most grieved losing. It was addressed to German (we share an email address) and he was traveling. As soon as he was awake, I texted him to "CHECK OUR EMAIL" and yes I did use all caps because it was important. This particular email began (in essence), "I regret how I mishandled our friendship and want to know if you could forgive me." German sent an immediate answer that said, "I'm traveling and can't answer much now but thank you for saying that and yes already forgiven." German and I cried together, rejoiced together and then sent an email that showed how God how worked in spite of how devastated we felt.  We did not hide how much we hurt, but we rejoiced at a second chance. After an exchange of several emails, the relationship was really beginning to renew.

We have not been able to renew the friendship face-to-face. Distance has happened. And yes, it is altered because we missed six years of each other's life. But the empty hole is no longer there.

I tell you this, not to brag on us or him, but to celebrate what God can and does do. It would not have been possible to so readily say "Yes, forgiven" if we had not allowed God to prune and minister and challenge and comfort our hearts during those six years. God had already helped us forgive. And he did that when we could see no hope of ever reaching reconciliation. If you are in a place that has been deeply hurt by others, please, please, please don't turn to bitterness. Keep giving it to God. Keep asking for him to allow forgiveness to rule. He will honour that. And, if the opportunity for reconciliation arises, you will be ready because you will have already forgiven.

We are working toward a plan for face-to-face meeting. If you do the math you will see that these sweet friends have never even met our third child. They were so important to our girls in the early years, and I desperately want them to meet Tree. It will be sweet, because it comes after such a desert time. I am hopeful.

Be encouraged. Forgiveness is sweet.

Don't set Limitations

I remember it clearly. I was maybe eight years old and my parents were going away for a few days. My brother and I were to stay with grandparents. For some reason, my Mom was worried about her house plants getting watered. One of the instructions she gave was, "Let (brother) water the plants, Mipa tends to kill them." I don't remember ever having killed a plant before that day. However, the reality was now firmly planted. I could not grow houseplants.

Fast forward to the summer between my Junior and Senior year of college. My roommate was going to Europe to hike across it with her fiance.  I was staying in our house for the summer, taking a couple of summer courses. So she, naturally, asked me to take care of her African violets. The African violets that her fiance gave her when he proposed. Her precious African violets.  I remember a feeling of panic that "I kill plants," even as I smiled and said of course. I was terrified that summer that I would kill the plants, but I didn't. They thrived. It should have been a lesson to my pre-twenty self that I didn't kill plants, but instead I thought it was a fluke.

For years I avoided house plants, knowing that I was the curse of death. But a friend gave me one when we lived in Germany, and it lived. In spite of being put in a box and transported across multiple country borders, it lived. Then we moved into this house three years ago. Our landlord left a beautiful orchid to welcome us into our new home. I, of course, expected to kill it. But I did not. It bloomed again...and again....and again. In fact, sometime this week it should burst into bloom for the fifth time since we moved. I have finally realised, I don't kill plants.

I don't know why my mother said that. Maybe I had, as a child, over watered or under watered something. Maybe it was a throw-aside comment that was a joke. I honestly cannot tell you. What I do know is that for years it dictated something I believed about myself. Something trivial, but something that was deep in my perception of who I was. And it was totally false.

As I watched the buds come on my orchid, I was thinking about how easy it is to set limitations that become part of who a person is. One of my children struggles with math. Saying math is not her thing actually sets an expectation that she approaches math with dread that she will not be able to do it. Back in college, when discussing language courses, my friend the Russian major made a joke that of course I didn't like languages, I didn't even do English well (making fun of my Texas country accent more than my use of language). I knew it was a joke. I knew that it was not true, after all I had been one of forty students hand-picked to help teach writing out of the school. But I still hear that "joke" when I'm writing and wonder if I have any right to be writing. It is easy to set limitations. I am determined that I will be more diligent in not setting limitations on what others believe they can do with any careless words that might come from my mouth. I don't want to have been the source of such self-criticism.

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. 

Proverbs 16:24

Father help me to use words that expand someone's horizons, not limit their perception. Help my words be healing and encouraging. And when I have set limits on a person's soul, send others to show a better way. Amen.

 

Things that Keep Me Humble

As a homeschooling Mom of two pre-teens and a SAHM of a toddler, there are multiple means utilized to keep me humble.  Here are but a couple of examples to preserve for posterity sake.

The toddler is developing quite a vocabulary.  Which is good.  He speaks in typical baby speak, which is not always so good.  The scene is the church foyer where I am visiting with a friend and he is watching out the window.  The room is fairly packed with parents waiting for children.
Tree:  a taxi. Mom a taxi. Look!
Tree: dere a bus! itsa bus!
Tree:  Blue car, geen car, are there lellow cars Mum?
Tree:  (jumping up and down)  (insert R-rated word near the name of another mode of transportation)
(witness one of the dad's almost fall over laughing)

After church we always spend time discussing what the girls learned in Sunday Club and what we heard in the sermon.  Jewel has just finished telling us about Timothy and some of the characteristics young people can learn from him.  Flower has talked about the Israelites disobeying God (agaaaain!) and what we should learn.  German tells the girls that we heard a sermon on the Fruit of the Spirit.
German:  So, what is the first fruit of the Spirit?
Jewel:  Is it grapes?
(witness me attempt to pick my jaw up off the table)
(yes I told her that this would get blogged!)
Guess what we will be studying this week in Bible time?

 

Keep smiling!  Have a great day! 

photos downloaded www.morguefile.com

What I Might Have Written

What might I have written if I had written this year?

I might have written about first Independence Day celebrations


 


and seeing amazing architecture

and eating amazing food.

Maybe I would have written about birthdays:

or Christmas presents and Christmas lights

Or a first-ever girls-only trip to Poland

I could have shown you Fairy Tale German Castles:

and German Cathedrals:

and English Cathedrals:

I might have written about school celebrations


I could have written about rediscovering favourite places

I might have even written about the bitter-sweetness of saying good-byes and making yet another international move. Or the elation of returning to a place we have previously loved.


I might have written many things.  But, alas, I did not.  If I had, you would have seen a little of the joy, the sadness, the laughter and even the tears.  Mostly you would have seen this chaotic thing that I call life and (maybe) caught a glimpse of the One who helps me navigate the chaos.  I've missed you.  I hope to be here more.  There are thoughts bouncing around this head that need a place to be voiced.  There are things to record for the pure joy of remembering.  There are others to recount so that lessons are not lost.  Looking forward to a year of new beginnings and re-starts of old passions.

Happy Year's End My Friends.  May 2014 Bring Us Together More.

Day Trips Post Four of Five

Continuing our Travels....to Luxumbourg.

Although Luxumbourg city is a lovely town, we had explored it on a previous trip to the area. So this trip we were looking to find something different. Due to the wonders of the internet, I learned that Luxumbourg was the final resting place for many American soldiers who died during battles of WWII in this area. In addition, it is the final resting place of General George Patton, Jr. So that became our destination.

There is something about rows of white crosses that take my breath away--and make me forever grateful:


This cemetery had many graves marked with Stars of David. Humbling.


Here is Patton's final resting place:



The same day we visited Luxumbourg, we also explored the former-Roman city of Trier. Trier is famous for its gate the Porta Negra:




The cathedral:







Next up: Limburg and Koblenz

Day Trips Post Three of Five

Continuing to Expolore Area around our New Home

We also discovered Brugge about eleven years ago. It is such a beautiful little town with its canals and relatively untouched-by-WW architecture. It was a rather dull day when we drove over for lunch and exploring, but it didn't stop us from taking a couple hundred shots of the canals and buildings (no I'm really not exaggerating). Thankfully for you, I've chosen just a few of my favourites to give you a flavor or the area.











And, of course we had to have some chocolate!


Next up: Luxumbourg