Monday, January 05, 2009

Marriage Monday---Humour

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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This month's topic for Marriage Monday is Humour in Marriage. I'm finding it a very difficult topic to tackle. My marriage is full of humour; it is almost a lifeblood of a marriage to allow us to cope with the mundane and the catastrophic forces against marriage. But, at least in my marriage, much of the humour is private and would not be understood out of context. It is the teasing that takes place to diffuse a situation. It is the quiet references to past antics that always bring a smile to our faces, but confusion to others' if said in company. It is movie dialogue badly quoted. It is sly looks that can mean only one thing (and not the thing you just thought).

You would not get it if I said, "You'll never take me to Disney," but he would, and he would laugh.
You would not get it if he said, "Keep hope alive," but I would and I would smile.
"Why are you wearing your slippers?" to you demands an answer, to me causes the giggles.

Quiet, private humour is part of the glue of our marriage. It is the shared moments that no one else needs to understand. It is our language to navigate the sometimes rocky terrain of marriage. I don't believe that we are alone in that. I've been with couples who I believe have solid, strong marriages and not understood all of their references--and in my heart I knew they were speaking their language of laughter. Before I was married that would have made me feel left out, but now it makes me smile to pick up on those references. It is a glimpse into their private glue, and it is encouraging. Couples need a private language, and often it is spoken in humour.

Other wonderful ladies will be writing of the humour in their own marriages. You can find those links with Denise at Shortybear's Place. Please join us. More importantly, add a little glue to your marriage today--take some time to laugh with your spouse.


Kristin said...

Most, if not all, the truly successful marriages I know have had that shared, private humor. When you experience it, its truly a wonderful thing.

tjhirst said...

I like your language, "a glimpse into their private glue" and it is reassuring that I don't have to be a comic to add that glue to my own marriage.

e-Mom said...

Beautiful and inspiring! I like this thought: Quiet, private humour is part of the glue of our marriage. It is the shared moments that no one else needs to understand. So true!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today MiPa.

Hugs, e-Mom

Amydeanne said...

Quiet, private humour.... ah yes indeed the glue!! i don't think anyone else gets my jokes!

Wife of Rob said...

I'm with E-Mom on this one. I love those shared things between Rob and I that no one under the sun would understand, but the two of us. "Glue" is the MOST perfect word that you could have chosen to describe those moments. When we are with her, my Mother always looks at Rob and I as if we have lost every wit that we ever owned....but we love it...and we love to laugh about it!!!

Tami Boesiger said...

I like the idea of humor being a glue for a couple. The inside jokes do bring them together. I never thought of it that way before. Thanks, MiPa.