Five Minute Friday--Song

Time for another 5 Minute Friday writing blitz with Lisa Jo Baker.  Today's prompt is SONG.

Go:
It's just a song. That's what I tell myself as I stand there with the tears, suddenly, unexplainedly falling down my cheeks.  Just a stupid (or beautiful or cheesy) song.

Yet, here I am again. Filled with emotions. Songs trigger memories and emotions in me quicker than anything else.

"Truth Will Rise" and I weep---hopeful that it will, months later grateful that it did.
"Saved a Wretch Like Me"--why me, I wonder. Why? Grateful tears flowing.
"You are my Sunshine" I whisper as I remember those first glorious moments of holding my baby.
"Listen to my Heart" I sigh as I cannot find the words to praise or petition.

Songs. Reach into the part of me that needs to release--to sing--and allows the emotions to flow when I am trying to hide them. Makes me vulnerable and strong.

That's why songs are my favourite part of worship services. They prepare me. They empty me. They fill me. All at the same time.

And why music is always on in my home. It calms. It evens. It lays the groundwork for my life.

It's never just a song. It's always something more.

Wonder what song I'll sing today?

Stop!

Five Minute Friday---Brave

Linking up with Lisa-Jo and the Five Minute Friday writers today. The topic is BRAVE.

Go:

I am not brave. There is not a brave bone in my body. I fret, I stew, I worry. I even hyperventilate. But I don't face things bravely.  I am a coward.

Yet, I moved from Kentucky to Washington as a newly minted social worker with just the cat to a place where I knew no one for a job. (Later I found out I had family there! Go figure!)
And I quit my job to start a single's ministry at the church (and then working part-time in social work).
And I got married. ;-) Actually for someone determine to remain single, maybe that was brave.
I followed my husband to another state and then another country (and another and another).
I gave birth to three amazing blessings. I said good-bye to two blessings before they grew big enough to meet them beyond the "blip" on the screen that faded to nothing.
I homeschooled my children.
I send my children to school.
I attempt to learn to speak German.

And people comment all the time that I must be so brave to do the things that I do. I just shake my head.

I'm not brave.

But I trust in a God who can handle any of these things and more. When his hand has directed us to a new place, a new job, or a new aspect of our life, I've learned to just follow. Hyperventilate if I must, but follow nonetheless. The blessings have been amazing.

Call me blessed. Call me faithful. But don't confuse that with bravery. They are not the same thing.

Stop.

Seriously, go visit the other brave women linking up today.  You will be blessed!

Day Trips Post Five of Five

Continuing to travel to Limburg and Koblenz:

Limburg Cathedral is easily spotted from the autobahn driving between Koln and Frankfurt. It had captured our eye more than once, so we decided to explore!



I love the details of statuary around these old cathedrals:


Old houses in town:




Castle:



Koblenz is a town near here where the Mosel River meets the Rhine river, known as the Deutches Eck (German Corner).  There is a 14 meter high statue built to honour William I at the convergence.  A tram lift will take you from river level up to the old Prussian fortress on the hill.  It was a dreary grey day, so the pictures are slightly dark.












Thanks for traveling with me! Hope you enjoyed seeing this little corner of the world.

Day Trips Post Four of Five

Continuing our Travels....to Luxumbourg.

Although Luxumbourg city is a lovely town, we had explored it on a previous trip to the area. So this trip we were looking to find something different. Due to the wonders of the internet, I learned that Luxumbourg was the final resting place for many American soldiers who died during battles of WWII in this area. In addition, it is the final resting place of General George Patton, Jr. So that became our destination.

There is something about rows of white crosses that take my breath away--and make me forever grateful:


This cemetery had many graves marked with Stars of David. Humbling.


Here is Patton's final resting place:



The same day we visited Luxumbourg, we also explored the former-Roman city of Trier. Trier is famous for its gate the Porta Negra:




The cathedral:







Next up: Limburg and Koblenz

Day Trips Post Three of Five

Continuing to Expolore Area around our New Home

We also discovered Brugge about eleven years ago. It is such a beautiful little town with its canals and relatively untouched-by-WW architecture. It was a rather dull day when we drove over for lunch and exploring, but it didn't stop us from taking a couple hundred shots of the canals and buildings (no I'm really not exaggerating). Thankfully for you, I've chosen just a few of my favourites to give you a flavor or the area.











And, of course we had to have some chocolate!


Next up: Luxumbourg

I Don't Want to be an After-Mom

Linking up with Lisa Jo for Five Minute Friday:



The theme this week is AFTER:

Go:

"After you do your homework, we'll have ice cream."
"After I finish folding the laundry, I will read the book."
"After I write this note/check this email/make this meal/tell this story..."

"After"
I seem to say it a lot. Too much.  And I hate.myself.for.it.

I grew up in an "after" household. The problem was after rarely ever came. My mom would move on the next task and forget the promise. I hated that. And now I do it. (maybe not the forgetting the promise as much as the making them wait.)

I want to be an "okay let's do it" Mom. I want to be able to put the socks down and read the book. I want to naturally stop what I'm doing to give them the attention they deserve. Even if I do have to finish the task (some things really can't wait), I want to have shown them the respect to listen and know what I'm delaying. And I want to go back and fulfill the promise.

I don't want to be an "after" Mom. One step at a time, one day at a time, I'm going to commit to doing more "now" and saving the mundane things of life for "after." After all, they won't be this little much longer and I don't want to miss it.

Stop.

Remember--Five Minute Friday

I frequently think that I want to join up with the 5 minute Friday, and then get busy and forget. This week I, ironically, remembered. So here I am joining up for the first Friday. Hopefully not the last. Don't know about Five Minute Fridays? The rules are simple:
It’s easy to join in, just:

Check what the prompt is on Lisa's blog.
Write a post in only five minutes on that topic on your blog.
Link over here and invite friends to join in.
Select the permalink to your post {so not your blog url www.lisajobaker.com but your post url www.lisajobaker.com/2012/07/five-minute-friday-2/ }
Using the linky tool at the bottom of my Five Minute Friday post enter your link.
Your post will show up in our Five Minute Friday linky.
Be sure and encourage the person who linked up before you!

Our most important requirement for participation: There’s really only one absolute, no ifs, ands or buts about it Five Minute Friday rule: you must visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

So with all that aside. Here we GO:

REMEMBER

I inhale deeply, taking in your smell.
I stroke your hair. Play with the little curl that is developing at the end. The cowlick. The fuzz that makes you you.
I rub your cheeks. Holding back the tears that threaten to spill down my own.
Tonight you want me. Tonight you cry and reach up and nestle in to get milk. Tonight, for a few minutes you are a baby once again. Last night. Not last night. Last night you fell asleep on your sisters bed and didn't stir as your daddy transferred you to your own. Night before last. Not then either. You came to me. Hugged me then pushed me away. Night before last you fell asleep on your own in your own bed. You did not need me.

It was the first in a long line of nights that you will.not.need.me. As you begin to assert your separateness, I am proud and I am sad.

But tonight you need me. And I want to remember. I always want to remember.

STOP

Day Trips Post Two: Gouda, The Netherlands

Sorry for the long delay in sharing more day trips. Photobucket has changed its photo editor, and is giving me fits for editing and uploading pictures. Maybe I've got it sorted.



We first visited Gouda, Netherlands eleven years ago. German and I were visiting the tulip fields around Amsterdam and decided to take a day to go explore cheese farms as well. We had some wonderful farm cheese, watched the production of the cheese and then went into town to find something to eat. We had never really eaten Greek food before, but the restaurant was inviting and it sounded good. And it was. For years we talked about one of our "top ten meals of all time was Greek food in Holland". It became legend in our house. And we were pretty sure we were making it better in our memories than it was in reality.

Then three years ago we were back in Belgium and decided to take the girls up to explore the cheese farms and maybe find our restaurant again...

It was just as good the second time around. We were hooked.

So when German innocently said before Christmas, "Sometime during the break I want to eat Greek food," I didn't think much of it. We have a lovely Greek place within walking distance of our house. But then he made his intentions clearer. "I want to go back to Gouda." Okay.

It is a three hour drive from our house. We left late morning, had a little fondue for lunch, did a little shopping (okay a lot of shopping--we like cheese in our house). Then we had dinner. And it is still one of our top ten meals.


We've decided maybe we won't have to wait three years this time.


Here is the town hall of Gouda. Beautiful during the day.


Amazing at night!


Since it was Christmas time, there was an ice skating rink set up behind city hall. It was surrounded by these lanterns designed by a local school. I loved them.


An amazing day out. Great meal, lovely sites and back to sleep in our own bed that night.

We went back a few weeks later with my Dad and his wife. This time we visited a cheese farm and just enjoyed the sights.

Cheese for sale:


The measuring house where the cheese would have been weighed for sale:




Two of my favourite people in one of my favourite places!


Next up: Belgium!

Day Trips Post One of Five

As promised (way too long ago), here is a travel log of some of the day trips we took over the Christmas/New Year break.  There is so much to see within about a 3 hour drive from our newest home!

Here is a taste.  First up is Heidelberg. This beautiful little town is special because it is where German spent much of his preteen/early teen years.  It was the first place in Germany that he showed me when we came to Germany on our honeymoon.  This trip was just after Christmas, but the market was still open.  The castle is beautiful. We even found the house he lived in but I haven't posted it. :-)











Another Christmas day trip to a market was to Wurzberg. This was a few days before Christmas and the market was in full swing. The sausages served there were the longest we had seen! Beautiful church and castle on the hill. A truly lovely day out.











Next up: Christmas markets in Siegburg and Aachen (plus another trip to Aachen); Brugge, Belgium; Gouda, Netherlands; Luxumberg....

Thank you for traveling with me!

February Goal Post

In January my goals were to:

1.  Stay on track with Daniel study --poor job here
2.  Continue to actively seek a friendship that could grow into prayer/study partner.--YES! We are deciding on a Bible Study and who to invite
3.  Write every week.  Post on blog at least 8 times during January.  Wrote every week, have five drafts in progress, did not post 8 times.
4.  Finish Multiplication cross stitch.  YES
5.  Stitch 2 Bride's Tree ornaments.  Actually stitched three
6.  Organise my sewing area--in progress
7.  Find a German tutor--YES and lessons are going okay

February Goals:
1.  Get back on track with Daniel study
2.  Choose a Bible Study with my friend
3.  Write every week.  Post the travel posts and MMs in February
4.  Stitch 1 Bride's Tree ornament
5.  Stitch "I am my Beloved" cross stitch
6.  Finish organising my sewing area
7.  Continue German lessons
8.  Enjoy Carneval with my family!

Marriage Monday--Personal Commitment

The Marriage Monday topic for the week is commitment.  I would have liked to think that it would be a cinch to write about how to stay committed in marriage.  But, it isn't.  It's been almost five years since we tackled the topic of divorce in this forum.  It was there that I began to articulate some of my thoughts of how the commitment is to God, and the relationship with the spouse grows from that.  It is how to traverse the difficulties of life in marriage.  I still believe what I wrote.  But five years of growth and watching other marriages and experiencing the roller coaster of life my husband & I have been on, I've come to a further conclusion.  Commitment is very personal and cannot be generalized.

I continue to be blessed in a marriage where we are healthy, employed, content and faithful.  Yet we have experienced so much change in the last five years that there were times it would have been easy to throw up my hands and say "enough!" I haven't because I believe that God has brought us together for this crazy roller coaster and I trust God enough to trust German. Although by the time my thoughts get to computer screen they are aligned (re-aligned) and following German's lead, they certainly don't get there immediately.  There have been many a difficult discussion. I'm sure there are days that German, too, would throw up his hands and cry "enough!" But he doesn't. He doesn't because he believes that God provided us for each other and we need to support each other in the chaos.  He chooses to trust God enough to also trust me.  That is how we personally view our commitment to each other--it is first a commitment to God. Your experience will be specific to your situation. Even a "first commitment to God, second to spouse" will look different when you do it than when I demonstrate what I mean.

I look around me and see that, for better or worse, that commitment to God first may not always appear to be the case.  We have watched friends' marriages fall apart.  We have been part of the "who gets custody of the friends" situations.  We have seen other marriages hang together for no other visible reason than God must be holding it. I have recently uttered for the first time in my life "they would be better off divorced"--and meant it.  The psychological abuse that is evident breaks my heart and not even separation has helped.  In other situations I am praying fervently for restoration. And I only know tips of icebergs in each of these situations.  Obviously, I am not privy to all the details.  In some cases there appears to be unreciprocated commitment. Others reciprocated, but in languages that are not communicating to one another. Others, maybe the commitment is to a feeling but not to something with a strong enough foundation.  In other words, commitment is nigh impossible to judge from the outside.  So we shouldn't. We should be willing to pray and to offer support as requested. But judgment needs to be reserved.

As we journey through life we will see marriage commitments that seem to fail.  Let us be careful in how we respond.  Let us be quick to extend grace and slow to judge. May we remember that demonstrations of commitment are personal to the individuals in the situations. How you would react may not be generalized to everyone should react the same way.  If we can do that, maybe we can show a little of Christ's encouragement to others.
 

Please join us at Chrysalis Cafe for more discussions of commitment.

Threading a Needle at 100MPH

One of my husband's favourite things to do is drive.


And one of his favourite things to do in Germany is drive on the Autobahn. No speed limits and good roads!


One of my favourite things to do on a road trip is to get a little stitching accomplished whilst visiting with German.

Over the Christmas holidays, was the first chance we had to do some serious driving. I took along a small ornament to work on in the car. No colour changes and simple design means I can work in the car without issue. And all went well. Until I needed to thread the needle with a new string.


Threading a needle whilst traveling 100+ MPH down the autobahn is....well nearly impossible. I did get it threaded, but with great difficulty. It actually became more enjoyable to just lay down the stitching and enjoy the drive.

----------------------------------------------------
I've come to consider that adjusting to life in a country where you do no speak the language is very much like threading a needle at 100MPH. Threading a needle is a common task. Just about anyone can do it. But the speed causes a "translation problem" and the simple becomes difficult.

So much of our life the last four month has been made up of the same mundane tasks that have always been a part of life. Laundry. Cooking. Getting from Point A to Point B. Setting up Appointments. But, as with any move, a new place means one must accelerate the performance of tasks. I need to find out how and where to accomplish those tasks whilst at the same time making my family's life seem to flow seamlessly.

We want ham for Christmas--must find out which butcher, how to ask for it, how much lead time to order it--in order to make it seamlessly appear on the table. (Actually a bad example, because I never was able to find out those things so we ended up with Roasted Beef this year, which was wonderful).
German needs suits for work--must find the new dry cleaner, get enough German words to ask for what I need, learn that a task that usually took 1 day in States and 3 days in England and 2 days in Ireland is going to take SIX here--and miraculously have the clean suits hanging in the closet on the day needed.

You get the idea. Lots of accelerated learning alongside tasks. That happens with every move. Find the best places, learn the new lead times, etc.

But the language difference ramps up that acceleration. Every other move there have been "speed limits" of being able to communicate whilst on the learning curve. Now we are on an autobahn of a learning curve....speeding along in a different language.

Which explains a lot of why I have not had the mental energy to blog much the last few months. It has all gone to trying to acclimate to our new life.

----------------------------------------------------
As I've been contemplating this idea since Christmas, I wonder if some of our "growth leaps" in our spiritual walk are also like "threading a needle at 100 MPH." Sometimes God leads us on nice, well-traveled paths that we can meander and learn and apply the truths in our lives. Other times he takes us to new pastures where we will step outside our comfort zones, but the language and the landscape are common enough that we are learning faster but are still able to acclimate and communicate the changes. Then there are those moments that he says "Let's go for a drive on the Autobahn". In those moments we are just holding on to the experience. Later we are able to reflect and make application.

I'm learning to lay down the common tasks and enjoy the ride. I know that there are others out there right now who are taking Autobahn trips with God. May I suggest you just enjoy the moment. Reflection and application will come after the experience. And it is just as sweet.



Oh....I did finish the ornament. Sitting in my familiar chair in my comfortable living room.

Next week I'll post some of the pictures of the places that the Autobahn led us to over the holidays.

Whatever the pace of your journey this weekend, I pray that you enjoy a sweet time with friends and family.

photo credits: purchased via istockphoto.com

Marriage Monday--Faith and Marriage

There are very few places on this earth that German must consult with me before accepting a job transfer that would require a move. Parts of Africa. The Middle East. Germany. Parts of South America. That's it.

Wait, you say. Germany? You love Germany. And you would be correct. But Germany is one of the few countries where we could work and live that homeschooling is totally illegal. We have believed from before we had children that God called us to a lifestyle that included educating our children on our terms. Therefore Germany is on the off-limits list.

So, that day in June when the call came, we were both surprised at our confidence and peace with the answer.

German: "They want me to interview for a new account. It's in Germany."
Me: "Go for it, how soon will we go?"
German: "Immediately. Are you sure?"
Me: "God will still provide for school. Be sure it is included in the package."

That was the discussion. I was in a taxi on my way to the train station. The girls were with me and I didn't want to get them worried. German was in a taxi in London on the way to a meeting. He said later he was surprised I did not have more questions. But I was totally at peace. I knew that this would mean a new lifestyle entirely. Yet, I was utterly convinced that God had orchestrated this move (remember this is before we even had the job) specifically for one of the girls. When German got home he said to me, "I think that this move is about ___". He named the same child that I am/was convinced this was destined to develop. I laughed aloud--isn't God good to reassure with the same thought.
(And weeks later when discussing the move with a friend she said, "You know this move is all about ___ don't you?" Yep, same child mentioned. Confirmation.)

So many people have been surprised by my okayness with all these changes. All I can relate it to is that I have absolute faith that German is leading this family according to his best understanding of God's leading in his life. If we did not have trust in each other's faith in God, we would be lost. But because we know that we individually are seeking God, we can trust one another. For me that is how faith exhibits itself in my marriage.

To see what an amazing group of women are writing about faith and marriage, please visit Chrysalis Cafe. You will be blessed.

Goals for January 2013

In December I made these goals:

1.  Stay on track with Daniel study-did okay but not great
2.  Continue to actively seek a friendship that could grow into prayer/study partner.--still seeking
3.  Write every week.  Post on blog at least 4 times during December.--nope
4.  Finish ABCs of Life cross stitch.--YES!
5.  Stitch 3 Xmas ornaments.--yes
6.  Celebrate Xmas and not lose focus of the season!--absolutely!

January Goals:

1.  Stay on track with Daniel study
2.  Continue to actively seek a friendship that could grow into prayer/study partner.
3.  Write every week.  Post on blog at least 8 times during January.
4.  Finish Multiplication cross stitch.
5.  Stitch 2 Bride's Tree ornaments.
6.  Organise my sewing area
7.  Find a German tutor

Happy New Year!

Well we are eleven days into 2013 and I haven't done much writing.  Forgive me if you must, but I don't feel guilty about it either!  This was the first year in 8 years that German had time off at the end of the year--and first time ever he was able to take two weeks--so I have been enjoying relaxing with my family.  Sometimes we forget how to reconnect.

This week was focused on doing the things I would normally have done whilst he went back to work--taking down decorations, catching up on laundry, etc. The house looks "almost" normal and the closets have clean clothes and the baby is still sleeping so I can write!

So moving right along....the typical end of year review and beginning of year post:

Last year my word of the year was INTENT.  I wrote:
As you look around many Christian blogs, you will see calls to live intentionally in 2012. And although that is part of what I am seeing in these words, it actually runs along a different vein than many are using the word. I believe that I am being called to look INTENTLY at motivation, at the things I study, at the blessings I receive and the ministry opportunities that open to me. It is more than making decisions to be intentional. It is about looking at the intent (the motivation) behind my decisions. It is a heart issue. I want at the end of 2012 to be more aware of why I make the decisions I make and that the motivation behind my actions to be more and more based on what I see in scripture.

I don't know how it will look at the end of the year. I just know that it should look different than it does now. I look forward to seeing what God lays in my path as I seek him, intently.

I'm really not able to put into writing what this year has been in terms of this word.  God has used a willful toddler, an international move, changes in church, leaving homeschooling behind, and so many other things to help me to evaluate and reevaluate my intentions.  It has been good.  I know that there is an internal change.  Just not sure I can point to much tangible example.  The writer in me is bothered by that because I cannot communicate what is happening.  However, the word goals are not meant to glorify me in my blog but to change me in my thoughts and motivations.  So, maybe, that is the tangible proof itself.  Anyway, it was a challenging word and I hope it continues to be a part of me the way TREASURE and PONDER and ENGAGE and CONNECT have.

Whilst praying for a word for 2013 I came across this picture (and other variations of this picture) at www.istockphoto.com:

The picture resonates with me on two levels and the words I have chosen come from those images. First, I believe that 2013 is a year of TRANSFORMATION. Now, that word in and of itself is terrifying to me. I am a creature of habit and change is not always my friend (yes, you can laugh knowing how many changes that our family has made in the last 3 years). I prefer quiet and home and the transformations in our lifestyle over the last few years I have known were preparing me for something. Maybe this is year I will more clearly define the something. The verse that accompanies this thought is probably obvious but here it is:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2 (ESV)
This year I want to be intentional about the things that I put into my mind, that I put things to memory that will transform me and edify me and aid me in edifying others.
Secondly, I believe that 2013 is a year of EMERGING from one way of life into something that God has been preparing me for all along. I don't know exactly what that is yet, but I believe that it will involve a more intentional emphasis on ministry and writing than I have had in the last few years. I can't wait to see what is planned!

So that is where I'm at. I've enjoyed reading some of the other "Words" given to some amazing bloggers that I look forward to seeing how God transforms their lives as well. I ask for you prayers as we begin this new year together.

What about you, has God given you a word for 2013? Care to share?