Friday, September 14, 2007

Lingering and Loving

I've been thinking a lot about family and friends this week. This post by Tami at The Next Step got me started. Situations differ, but the desire the same--to connect. I am blessed that my immediate family are all believers. But believing in and loving the same God, does not always equate easy to be together. Although we are not even a year apart in age, one would think that my brother and I were raised in different households. Our perceptions of home and family are that different. In many ways, when our parents divorced (almost twenty years ago) he adopted my mother's reality and I took on my Dad's. I'm sure the truth is somewhere in the middle. *grin* We are both opinionated (is that a surprise?) but he cannot see any way beside his own. In his reality, no one should ever leave Texas (I left 17 years ago), wives should always be at home (I worked for the first years of my marriage), church should be Pentecostal (I am Baptist through and through), etc etc etc. He never travels. He rarely steps out of his comfort zone. And, I'm happy for him. It works for him. It would drive me insane, but it works for him. I just wish that he could allow me the choices to live where I want, worship how I want, to travel and constantly push the boundaries of the comfort zone, and for him to understand that my choices work for me. So we find ourselves with a chasm--and not much to talk about when I go to visit. Since we moved overseas, and get home so infrequently, I have tried to view my life from his point of view, straining at times to find a connection. Tami's post left me with that wanting...wanting him to linger and wanting to find the right combination. But I don't see it. I thank God we share faith in common and that some day the other differences won't mean anything. But I wonder what we are missing now.

The second reason family is on my mind, is that my dear niece turned thirteen yesterday. Thirteen! How can my baby brother have a thirteen year old? (because obviously that means I'm old enough to have one as well!) She has already experienced more disappointments in life than many people see in a long lifetime, yet she is developing a lovely faith of her own. My biggest regret of living so far away is that I can't really be an influence in her life (and God knows she needs a female influence in a household of men). All I can do is pray, and be thankful that she has a church that loves her and teaches her. Happy Birthday sweetie!

As I was praying for my niece yesterday morning, then doing my blog reading, I found this post by Ann at the Holy Experience of Listening. God frequently drives me to my knees through Ann's words, and yesterday was no exception. I literally sobbed through much of the post. The question: "Who is the lost sheep in your life He is calling you to love?” stood out. My immediate family may not be lost sheep, but German's family are all lost sheep. I take for granted that I have eternity to be with my family, even if the here and now is somewhat silent. German does not have that assurance. And in reality, it is his brother that lingers and hovers and waits for a word of encouragement from us. He says he wants nothing to do with God, but is it true? Often I think what he really means is he wants nothing to do with the church. Are we living our lives where he sees that God and the church are not necessarily one in the same (another soap box for another day)? Do I really love my brother-in-law in a way that would draw him to Jesus? How can I show that with an ocean between us? So many questions, left at the throne of grace. But between Tami's and Ann's blessings of words this week, I'm more determined to love and to watch for lingering and to allow God to work.

Who lingers in your life? How do you need to reach out? Who is the lost sheep in your life He is calling you to love?

Blessings to each of you!


One other thing....if you are so inclined please pray for J&J, friends who left yesterday afternoon to live and work in Afghanistan with a Christian Service organization. They go as a family with their 2 year old daughter and their 4 week old daughter. And they go in such peace and faith as God leads. Pray for their safety and for their quick settling and adjusting to their new home. And please pray for their parents who have sent them with blessings and God's peace, but whose hearts must be heavy with concern and sadness. Bless you for praying!

6 comments:

Velda said...

Let me just say that you have no idea what God did for you and I today thru you posting this entry and me reading it. Thank you, again.

Prayers for your friends, that's quite a trip that will be.

Tami said...

Thanks for the link, friend. There are no more gut-wrenching relationships like family, are there? But then again, there is no better way for us to learn to love either. May God give us wisdom in this area.

Have a great weekend, my friend.

Paper Dali said...

Sigh.

Once again, MP, you've left me thinking ... I'll pray for you and your brother's relationship; pleas pray for mine with my brother (we're polar opposites and do not share a love of Jesus ... he's agnostic).

We've lost lambs all around us, but so many run away when they see us. DH and I rarely see his family, and it's their choice, so ... how does one reach for those who are physically unreachable?

Ah, through prayer. Of course.

Anonymous said...

I was just at the grocery store. My heart is still racing and I feel like I am going to throw up. Not because of the rising prices (grin) but because of family. And then I come home...hit Google Reader and was surprised you posted again so soon ;)...yet, I felt you wrote for me. It doesn't matter if you are an ocean away or arm's length...when it comes to family everything gets complicated. What upset me at the grocery store? Family. I saw my mother and father not an arm's length away...but it may as well have been an ocean. They look right through me...and I pray silently. God is in control. Thanks!!

Susannah said...

It sounds as if your brother's natural gifts are quite different from yours. Perhaps he's more of a feeler, or a hands-on type of guy?

We women do ache when our relationships go wrong, especially in our own families. My family-of-origin are all unsaved, and that creates a huge chasm between us. I try to work around it, but I realize that they are as much my "ministry" as anyone outside the family would be.

I pray that you and your brother can find an amicable peace together.

Hugs!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Yes, they will be included in my prayers. Sometimes we could not do much for our loved ones who are still in the dark. But we can always resort to prayers that the Lord will touch them and somehow, someway, through His amazing grace and in His time, they too will experience salvation and deliverance. Smile. Have a nice day. God bless you and your loved ones with the wisdom to discern His will for all of His faithful children.