The topic this month for Marriage Monday is trust.
Trust in marriage is a funny thing. I would not say that I am a trusting person. I have a strong innate hesitation that maybe all is not as it appears. I don't know how much of that was taught and how much of that is natural, but I tend to doubt and wade into new situations and friendships slowly.
But I have never been that way with German. I trusted him with secrets almost from our first time alone together. He, too, shared deep parts of himself quickly--back in the days when we were just friends and there was no romance on the horizon. We almost instantly trusted each other. And I truly believe that is God-given.
In our pre-marital counseling our pastor encouraged us that we needed to trust when in the presence of others because our jobs would require us to be alone with opposite gender. We looked at him as if he were crazy, 'why wouldn't we trust in that?' I remember early on talking to a friend about German at his work. The name of a certain female colleague came up multiple times. My friend cautioned me that I 'needed to keep an eye on that relationship' because they were working too closely together. I remember clearly not just thinking but absolutely believing in my deepest places that I had no cause to fear. I trusted him. I still do. And my trust gives him the freedom to do his job and to share his work and colleagues with me. Because I trust him he talks about all aspects of his work. In other words, he can trust me.
When after a few months of marriage he announced that we needed to accept a transfer and move across country, I trusted that it was not only right for his career but it was right for us. When the next move was across the Atlantic, I never hesitated because I knew he had our best interest at heart. As we contemplate what will happen next any hesitation I have is not about distrust. I sometimes grieve what the choices mean in terms of what we lose, but I trust that the benefits of what we gain will always be better. I trust my husband's heart when it comes to taking care of our family.
I know plenty of people who have never developed that level of trust. Circumstances or past experience have caused them to doubt. They have never felt the abandonment of worry that I feel with German. I am sorry for them. I am sorry that they face their relationship with an edge of caution. I am thankful that from the beginning God granted me the grace of trust. I'm thankful that he granted German the grace of trust. And together we feel a firm foundation to build decisions upon. Given past experiences, that was a miracle for both of us. We don't take it for granted, and we are grateful.
Did trust come naturally to your relationship? If not, how did you develop it? If you aren't sure at all about how to have trust in your marriage, visit around the Marriage Monday community this week. I'm sure you will find many godly pointers of how to create trust in your marriage. God bless you.