Monday, April 06, 2009

Marriage Monday--Friendship in Marriage

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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We spent the weekend in London with old friends. It had been ten months since we last saw them at a party, but more than that since we had any quality time together just the two families. So this was very much a renewing the friendship type weekend. We had a wonderful time. We ate together, laughed together, learned a little at the science museum together, worshiped together, and even shed a few tears together as we parted. It was good, really good.

As good as it was, all of us would admit that there were some thoughts of concern before we got together. Would the friendship still be easy? Would we still have things to talk about? How would the girls react since they hardly know them? Although we really wanted to see each other we had to wonder if it would be the same.

(for the record, it was)

That is something we never have to worry about when our friend is our spouse. Where the ebb and flow of life can pull other friendships apart, it only serves to strengthen the friendship in a Christian marriage. Those life experiences become more of the bedrock upon which the friendship is borne.

We've seen that the past few months. With the pressures of economy, work, kids, home life and the like it would be easy to pull apart. Friends we would normally see fairly often, we see infrequently as they are also in the midst of pressures of life. Those friendships will remain, but be a little more distant because of the demands of life. But the marriage friendship? It gets stronger and stronger as we share life together and as we seek God's hand in the decisions. We find more time to really appreciate just being together, just getting in the car and driving together, and just praying together and for each other. The foundation grows.

Friday night we wandered through London together. We didn't say much, we just walked together enjoying a beautiful evening in a bustling city. When we got back to the hotel German commented that it had been a perfect evening. We didn't need to talk. We didn't need to think about anything important. We just needed to be together. As he put the girls to bed, Jewel prayed and said "thank you God that we could have fun together tonight in London."

My girls saw it--just have fun being together.


That quiet togetherness is the essence of Friendship of Christian Marriage, at least it is for us.

Want to read more about friendship in Christian Marriage? Join us at Chrysalis' place for more reflections.

9 comments:

Tami Boesiger said...

I love that phrase, "quiet togetherness" and completely agree that it is the essence of friendship. It reminds me of riding in a car without feeling the need to talk. It's such a soothing feeling. Great aspect to bring out, MiPa.

Constance said...

I think that in today's media the message sent out to couples is that marriage is supposed to always be exciting, fun, fireworks and so on. When diapers, money issues, time crunch hit, they think they might have made a mistake and married the wrong person. It's the mundane, the difficult things in our marriage that we persevered through that actually strengthened us as a couple. I wouldn't trade what we have today for that brand new honeymoon feeling! Our youngest daughter just got married in Nov and we see the honeymoon phase all the time. What Dave and I have grown into, the maturity of full bloom love is the best ever!
Connie

Amydeanne said...

great post! and so true... hugs!

Lynn said...

MP,

Wow, this post is so beautifully written and filled with the truth about married friendship. Oh, how I would have been there to be with you as you strolled the streets of London. God bless you my sister.

e-Mom said...

Beautiful post! (I love London.) With the pressures of life mounting, it's so good to know we can count on our spouse for friendship.

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, MiPa. :~D

Susan said...

Wow, this was great!

I could just see you both walking hand and hand, enjoying each other and the sights as well.

Isn't friendship just wonderful?

You truly understand this in your marriage.

Thanks for sharing♥

Denise said...

Such a wonderful post sweetie.

Andrea said...

I enjoyed your post and for me these statements say it all,

That is something we never have to worry about when our friend is our spouse. Where the ebb and flow of life can pull other friendships apart, it only serves to strengthen the friendship in a Christian marriage. Those life experiences become more of the bedrock upon which the friendship is borne.

My husband is still my best friend and I thank God that we're still growing an even deeper friendship. It's so good just to be with him.

Sounds like you had a wonderful time in London! I'm happy for you!

Wife of Rob said...

ABSOLUTELY! That quiet togetherness is the best! I really enjoyed this post! "The ebb and flow" can really get us sometimes...and it's SO precious to haave that "constant" friend in our spouse.