Awareness

First, thank you to those who responded to my previous post. I hate to sound so whingy, it is just sometimes hard to articulate what answers I'm seeking. I'm glad the Holy Spirit knows what my heart needs and continues to work, even as I question how, lol. I took a couple of days off of the written study to just seek God. No answers yet, but that is really okay. I'd rather just be able to state the questions. I find I often learn more in classes that I don't totally agree with the material, because I seek more. And it isn't that I don't necessarily agree with the material, I just really don't like the more academic fashion of presenting it and so I'm fighting it. In discussion with a few other people in the class, they are not really happy with the written presentation either. So at least I'm not alone.

On a much better Bible Study note, my ladies study on Friday was AWESOME! It is so amazing to see how God laid out and prepared this study for us. Two months ago I just jotted down nineteen "topics" and chose one verse that spoke to the topic and one quote that related somehow. The task was each week to just wait for God to speak on the topic and then come and discuss. The topics seemed disjointed and thrown together. But every week, without fail, the discussions have been amazing. The struggles that people are talking about in their lives or in the lives of their friends are exactly on topic. And we are seeing God mightily at work.

The topic this week was "awareness" and the verse was

"He pays even greater attention to you, dow to the last detail--even numbering the hairs on your head!" Matthew 10:30, from the Message version

We were talking about the attention God pays to us, and if that is frightening or reassuring. We also talked of when we are most aware of God and when we are least aware of God. There were some "AHA" moments during the study when God made Himself very apparent. A good discussion of how we should react (and honesty about how we often react) when God brings to our attention/makes us aware of the sin in our life followed. It was incredible. I love being a part of a study when the walls are broken down and there is honest evaluation, application and accountability. This group is reaching that level of trust. I can't wait to see what God will do next.

And isn't it ironic, just as I'm struggling with what does the Holy Spirit really do in my life---He breaks through and moves in the study I'm leading. I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that it is a God-incidence. And I'm sure the two lessons will soon become more apparent how they fit together. That is, if I keep seeking to be aware of God in my life.