Marriage Monday--Romance Matters

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Today's (now yesterday's) MM topic is Romance. Here is what E-Mom has to say in the introduction:
You can approach today's topic, "Why Romance Matters" any way you want. Consider telling us about your favorite restaurant, your favorite song, or the little things you do for one another throughout the week. What tones down the tension, and tunes up the tenderness? How do you encourage your husband to open up and share his feelings? We want to know.

Essentially, tell us what you've discovered about the importance of romance and intimacy to your marriage.

When I asked German this weekend if romance matters, his answer was simply "yes." More clarification given? Not at all. Later he said, we probably haven't had too much romance lately. A sign that there is guilt there because our date nights have all but disappeared. But a night out is not what defines romance.

It's romantic that he still wants to hold doors open for me...even after almost thirteen years of marriage. It's romantic when he comes around the car to open my car door with flourish (and it teaches our girls about those little touches). It's romantic when one of us sends an email in the middle of the day that just says "I love you." Lighting candles, unexpected flowers (from either of us), notes in travel bags, slipping away with the girls to let the other person sleep, doing a task that is normally the other person's duty, remembering "off" anniversaries---first date, first kiss, found out we would be parents, reunited after a move---and doing something special to commemorate the moment are all romantic acts.

We are currently in a season where "dates" and big romantic gestures are difficult. Family is an ocean away and our most regular babysitter decided that something silly that following God's call to full-time ministry was more important than taking care of our kids (tongue planted firmly in cheek). But the fact is child care is difficult right now. Add that to incredibly busy work with travel and church schedules and organized romance is out the window. So the other things matter more. But, honestly, the little things have always mattered more. Romance is doing something to show your partner that they are important to you. Planned time to show that is great. But being unexpectedly reminded that you are special? Well that can keep a person going for a long time.

Romance matters! However it looks in a person's relationships, it matters! But don't be discouraged if you can't make big romantic gestures---the little ones are just important.



For more amazing women's thoughts on romance, please visit Chrysalis. Be blessed!

photo credit: ladyheart (Andrea) found at www.morguefile.com