Last December into January, Laurel Wreath challenged us to write our New Year Meditations. It was an amazing exercise for me, and one that I have revisited over and over throughout the year. It challenged me, and really helped to set the bar for what I would focus on during the year. The meditations were more than resolutions, they were hopes and dreams of what I expected God to do in me and through me during 2007.
I came into 2008 expecting to write a "here's how I did and what God did" article and then write new meditations for 2008. But, I find that is a plan that is not working. Because 2007 meditations were dreams--and God so often takes my dreams and challenges them, reworks them and answers them in a variety of ways. I find myself not wanting to just report and revamp, but to see how the dream is growing, and refocus. So, following (in red) are the mediations from 2007. In the blue type, are my 2008 dreams and thoughts. I now see this as a living document that God will continue to grow in this year and the coming years (until He decides it is time for a new dream!)
In 2007 I want to grow more Christ-like in my speech with my children. I want to break the stronghold that my mother taught me that a raised voice brings calm. It doesn’t. It adds to the chaos. I want to not be the cause of chaos in my home. I want to embody Ephesians 4:29 and Ephesians 6:4. I pray that our time of school is teaching Jewel and Flower, not only basic education but basics of living in a family and getting along with one another. I pray that our play time is making memories and setting an example of loving life and loving God.
This continues to be my prayer. I am finding that breaking strongholds is three steps forward and two steps back. I am a long way from where I want to be, but by the grace of God I am much further down this path than I dreamed I could be. Loud still embodies my home at times, but it is not totality. And in the facial expressions of my children I see reflections of an ungodly attitude and I know exactly where they learned it. I want to change that. I continue to seek to be Christ-like examples for them. We are so loving home-education, and the intellectual pursuits are going so well. I pray the life-building will be the memory making moments for them in 2008.
In 2007 I want to display the gentle quiet spirit that German needs me to be in our home. I want to show him the respect that he deserves as my husband and the head of this home. I pray taht God will mold me more and more into that wife that He knew German needed and that if asked to describe his wife, adjectives like "Godly" "supportive" "loving" and "giving" would be the first things that come to German's mind.
In this area all I can say is GOD IS SO GOOD! He has answered this abundantly. Mid-way through the year, German said something about how much I changed. But it wasn't me, it was God working. And where we have always had a good marriage, now it is even greater. I am so blessed, and I want to continue to see God blessing my marriage in 2008.
In 2007, I pray that the Ladies Bible Study will grow in numbers and depth. I pray that those dear ladies who are coming each week, believing that being churched is the same as being saved, will see Jesus for Who He is and submit their lives to Him. I prayt that I can be an instrument of truth. I pray that I will be careful in my speech and my answers. I want to grow in knowledge and impart that with honesty, sincerity and integrity. As we study the Patriarchs (study by Beth Moore) may I grow in an understanding of what blessing and covenant and being a chosen people is all about.
This is an area that God has so richly blessed me! The study may not have changed in terms of numbers, per se, but the depth of discussion is amazing. The Patriarchs study was fantastic. We are currently studying Mary and Martha and I am finally becoming only a facilitator as the ladies come prepared and hungry to discuss what God is teaching them. I pray that continues in the new year. I began Believing God (by Beth Moore) later in the year and it is stopping me in my tracks and encouraging me on so many levels. I am finding that God stops my words more and more often (or rather I recognize His guidance and stop talking). I am listening more and the relationships around me are blossoming because of it. I pray that this area grows deeper and richer this year. Also in 2008 I will be leading a Bible Study on a message board I frequent. I pray that the participants will grow in their faith. More importantly, I pray that those who just lurk and read will see a picture of a Jesus they might be interested in knowing.
Here again, all I can do is thank God at what He is doing in my personal time with you. My quiet time is so much more consistent than this time last year. It is still not as consistent as I dream, and I believe that 2008 will be a year for developing that more and more, but the blessings of more regular time with Him has been life-changing. I am learning to have "living room intimacy" with Jesus (to borrow a phrase from Joanna Weaver's Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World) and the relationship demonstrates that intimacy. I pray that 2008 will find me continuing on the journey that Jesus called me to at the beginning of 2007 and has blessed me with this past year. He has proven over and over that He will meet me whenever and whereever I choose. I dream that I will never lose this growing desire to meet Him daily, and frequently. In 2008, my dream for personal study is that Scripture memory will become alive and real for me. I have played at memorizing Scripture for a long time. This year I want to be serious about it. For 2008, I hope that the accountability friendship will strengthen. When we were diligent about meeting, our daily and emotional lives as well as our prayer lives were definitely flourishing. I found myself faltering and falling into old habits more quickly without that regular contact. I don't know if it was the same for her, but I suspect it was, so I pray we are able to be more regular in our prayer time.
In 2007 I pray that this blog touches someone’s life. I pray that it is not just useless words put out there, but that I am cautious and responsible with my words. I pray that it never become a source of pride of what I can do, but that it remains a means for me to relay what God is doing. I pray that I will be a Biblical friend to those I meet in blogsphere, pointing them to Jesus in every word and action.
This continues to be my prayer. I don't think that I will ever know this side of heaven how much God has answered this. I get glimpses in the lives of the people that I have come to know (thanks Danielle and others for telling me). I pray that in 2008 this blog continues to touch lives. I never want to be just words in the wind.
I do not believe in making resolutions on New Year’s Day because I believe that resolutions are made in our own strength depending upon ourselves to break the habits that we are resolving to break. I cannot break the habits in my life on my own. But I pray that 2007 is the year that I allow God to have victory in my life in my diet and physical well-being. I would like to look back on 2007 at a healthier weight and an even greater relationship with God as I allow Him to be my comfort instead of food.
Again, a long way to go, but so much progress. I am 20 pounds toward a healthier weight. But more importantly, I am developing a healthier relationship with food. I am finding ways to allow God to comfort, not go to food. I pray that 2008 finds me continuing this path. I would love to see 20 more pounds disappear. And I want to see more exercise enter into my life (starting with walking around the lake every day). But most of all, I want to turn to God instead of to food when I am lonely or stressed.
A new dream that God is giving me in 2008 is to be a mentor to someone on a regular and consistent basis. I have benefitted from the ladies who have walked with Jesus longer than me, imparting their experience to me. I want to be that as well. I am praying about how, when, who. He is revealing Himself, and as He draws back the curtain to show me how this desire in my heart fits into His plan, I pray I have the courage and consistency to follow through.
Books I want to read in 2007 to help me on the journey:
1. Prayer by Philip Yancy--did not finish, too much to take in quickly
2. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs The single most important book I have ever read besides the Bible to enhance my marriage!
3. Forever in Love with Jesus by Dee Brestin and Kathy Troccoli--did not start
4. Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp--Good book with interesting perspective
5. The Joy of Eating Right by Dee Brestin and Peggy Johnston--This study was not what I was needing in terms of diet, but I found resources elsewhere
6. Believing God by Beth Moore--still in the process
7. Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes--still reading
8. What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa Terkewst--just started
Other books read for the journey: Taking Care of the Me in Mommy and Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel, For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, and Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver
Books added for 2008:
1. Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Terri Maxwell
2. A Woman's Journey to the Heart of God by Cynthia Heald
1 comment:
I find it very interesting that you call these meditations "dreams". I was expecting really lofty goals before I read them and they seem to be very practical things that can be attained with the Spirit's help. I praise God you have seen improvement in many areas and trust Him for the others. You echo the thoughts and desires of many women. May Jesus do a work in all of us in 2008. Happy New Year, friend.
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