Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"
~C. S. Lewis~
It was a Bible Study class at my church when I was in college. I was 20 and the eldest person in the room was 80. I was feeling considerably out of place. I was going thru a horrific (and dangerous) time with a roommate and the leader of the group kept harping that I was being too rigid and just needed "to forgive." She couldn't comprehend that a police officer friend was spending his off-hours sitting outside my house because he was afraid for us. This was beyond "just forgive." I felt like I was the only one that the leader didn't "get." Jan was 15 years older than me. Married. Successful. And she was going thru a very difficult time in her marriage. The leader kept harping on the fact that she needed to submit--to a man that was not a Christian and was walking so far away from ethics much less Christianity that it was impossible to submit. Jan wanted her marriage. She wanted it whole. And she wanted to support to make that happen. The leader could not understand a difficult marriage. So Jan thought she was the only one in the group that the leader didn't "get." But we "got" each other. We instinctively understood one another. We could finish each other's thoughts. And we clicked. Friendship was borne, and still blossoms 18 years later.
Fast forward 3 years. I was sitting in the chapel at the seminary for my first convocation. Shy. Somewhat scared. Out of place? Jules sat beside me. Smiled uneasily. We started talking. Our hearts knitted in that exact moment when we realized we were not alone in feeling scared and out of place. Friendship was borne and blossoms 15 years later.
What is unusual in these cases? None of us share our hearts easily. We are all three very guarded people. Don't want to get hurt. We have casual friends, yes, but few deep-share-our-lives-with friends. But the friendships cemented immediately. We had looked at each other and found someone who shared our hearts, when we thought we were all alone. And my life is forever richer because of those moments.
If you are reading Jules or Jan, thank you for being my heart friends. I love you!
This post is in conjunction with Christian Women Online's "In Other Words" writing challenge each week. You can find what other's are saying about C.S. Lewis' quote here: