Want this button?
Welcome to another Marriage Monday! This month we have been asked to talk about how to celebrate Valentine's Day throughout the year. In other words, what are the things that we see as important in our marriage to keep romance all year and not just on one day.
There are so many ways that we live out our love in our everyday lives. It often changes daily based on the needs of the day. There does seem to be a common thread through the ways that love is celebrated in our marriage--it is in attempting to speak a language that the other hears as love. As I've said before, German and I are literal opposites in so many ways. Our love languages (see Gary Chapman's book of the same name for more insight) are a clear demonstration of this. His love languages are acts of service and physical touch; mine are words of affirmation and quality time. It would be so easy for us to go days upon end and not feel the love or romance of the other if we were not cognizant of how love is being spoken. I have to "hear" him when he is speaking his natural language as well as try to speak his natural language. He needs to hear me in my native language in addition to trying to speak my language. The days we are aware of how the other needs to hear love are definitely the days that we speak romance in our home the best.
And we need to plan for that. A funny example was seen just this weekend. Every week German asks me to put together a list of what needs to be done on the weekend. He needs to speak "service" and he wants those acts of service to actually bless me rather than just take "time" away from me. Honestly, I never ask for more than one thing to be accomplished because I want to just "be" with him in the time we have. But this weekend I had informed him that he could speak his native language and help me clean up the wreck of an office. We awoke Saturday morning and he said "what am I doing today?" and I reminded him and he said "but we haven't gone for a drive lately." I quickly said okay and we set off---to go to Edinburgh, three hours away. We had a delightful day. And I felt better Sunday than I have in ages because I had received his love in my language---time. He had sensed that I was needing to hear love in my own way more than he needed to speak it in his way. The result was a perfect day. (And if I'm industrious this week I'll get the office cleaned up myself in an act of service for him--speaking his language.)
So, in our house, recognizing what love language needs to be spoken/heard and following through with actions that speak love is how we keep Valentine's throughout the year.
Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouse's love language? Feeling like you don't connect the way you want or that you are not loved the way you want to be? Maybe it is time for some foreign language lessons. I highly recommend Chapman's book to help you speak and receive love in the language needed.
Please visit the Marriage Monday writers at Chrysalis. You will certainly find things to bless you and challenge you.