Reflecting on Less

Last January I wrote,

"... I read Falling Free by Shannan Martin about how they had left their life of abundance for a life that was based on much less but gave them so much more (my description here). I was challenged. I was awe-struck. And that little voice that was telling me that I did not care about 'more' got louder. It was not telling me to sell the house and move somewhere else. It was telling me that maybe I could find "more" in my life by dealing with a lot less.

Various things over the last two months have sung this song.  Reminders that stuff is not what makes anyone happy. Sermons reminding of caring for the least of these. A Bible study of Proverbs that warns about accepting wealth and status quo without balancing it with the wisdom of God. By the middle of November I knew what my word for 2017 was to be, and it was daunting. It was........LESS"

It was a daunting word, and I really did not know what would happen during the year.  But I knew that it was a journey I had to start. Some of the dreams I had materialised. Others did not. Major changes happened that highlighted even more my desire for less. I came away changed, but maybe not as materially changed as I had hoped. Internally I am more minimal, and that is determining decisions and actions. It is a slow journey, but one that I will continue for a long time. Some of my dreams were:

"Less accumulation of paper and materials that are not needed."  I did continue to digitilize a lot of paper and then get rid of it. I finished the early homeschool portfolios. I was not in a head space to deal with the last box of my mother's papers, so it still sits in my attic. My high school pictures are gone except for a few that were actually good or special.  We did move this year, and it was a huge move.  I moved less than it would have been two years before, but we still moved a lot of things that I have no reason to keep.  So this is an ongoing battle.
" Less time spent worrying what others think of the life I am called to live". I gave a lot less head space to worrying about this right up until we moved back to the US. So many people have questioned why we do things, or why I don't want to just do things the 'American way' that I've become paranoid and defensive.  I need to get back to trusting God with the life he called me to lead and ignore the pundits.
"Less time doing things that do not build me up." I have read hard things this year that have made me think and grow. I've not read popular books that would not be good for me. I've stopped watching 'must-see' tv that was not healthy for me. And I've stopped apologizing for that. I'm happy with how this goal has proceeded.
"Less voiced negativity and more thankfulness need to be in my daily conversations." In general, I do believe that some of the negativity has curbed. It has been a tough year.  There is much in the world to be negative about--and finding ways to express disagreement without it only being perceived as negativity is tough. This is especially true when many of those around me do not agree with the stance I feel called to take. I am extremely grateful for the things God has done in our lives this year, for the places he has offered us protection and even for the conviction and dismay that accompanies confrontation of long-held prejudices and traditions. But it has been tough. I've said LESS than I would have liked in order to not be negative, and I'm not sure that has been totally healthy. I'll still work on this goal.
"Less half-hearted rituals and more focus on what God is saying." I cannot give examples of this, but I know that this is pruning that God has definitely started and continues in my life.
"Less unhealthy things entering my life. Whether it is junk food or junk TV or toxic people, I want to be more diligent to let in healthy and exclude the unhealthy." I've cut out almost all TV (except DIY or science shows for noise, and even the DIY shows make me get frustrated about topics of gentrification and privilege so they may go) and I have not missed it at all. For most of the year, junk food was cut out---then a move happened. I will get back to this. Recognizing toxic people has happened, but I am not always very good at protecting myself from their influence.  More of this in 2018.
"Less holding on to people." Oh, this has been hard.  Moving from England after sixteen+ years has been heart-wrenching. I miss my old life, my old friends, my old routines.  But God has taught me immense trust in the last three months. I did not have any clue when I wrote this, how much this one would hurt.

My life in 2017 was filled with much MORE than I ever dreamed when I began a journey to LESS. I'm more content. I'm more self-aware and I'm more other-aware. It is a journey I'm not willing to end. It will continue to feed my focus for 2018. But, more on that later.