Apparently I am what you call a "typical" female---I like to chat over my problems with my friends. I like to have someone else's input into a situation, to see if there are sides to the problem I have not thought about, and to get another's stamp of approval on my plans. Conversation and validation are not just desires, they really are needs. And they are needs for most women. Many men, on the other hand, are much better at sorting problems on their own without chatting it over with anyone else.
The last couple of years have been somewhat of a struggle for me. Being "typical" I need to talk with friends. But the friends that I have shared the deepest parts of my heart with have all moved away. I've fought a deep lonliness of "needing" to share but not having anyone in physical proximity with whom to share (except German who is oh-so-grateful when I share with girlfriends and not him!).
So it is with a heart that is torn by being lonely and wanting a friend to hear my heart that I read this week's quote:
"No matter how many good friends I had, there were aspects of my life I needed to deal with alone-heart issues and attitudes that could not be wrestled with in a Bible study...They had to be confronted by the Holy Spirit in the privacy of my own soul."
~ "A Glimpse of Grace" by Mary Forsythe (with Beth Clark) ~
*sigh* It is true. Although I have struggled in a dearth of close companions, I have grown in an intimacy with God over the past two years that would not have happened in the presence of others. He has been the only One I could go to with my tears, cares and fears. He has graciously and persistently sought to break down the barriers that were keeping me from a deeper relationship with Him. He has exposed the ugliness of my heart that a friend would never have pointed out (at least not so undeniably) and then He has taken that ugliness and dealt with it. Sometimes it is in aloneness that we confront the most. I can't say that I like that reality, but I am grateful for the results of it in my life.
Lord, God, help me to see the seasons of aloneness to be a gift from you. Give me wisdom to use those times to grow in my relationship with you. May I find the trust and the companionship that I seek in Your arms. Amen.
Michelle at Because I Love You is the hostess this week for In Other Words. Please visit her site and be blessed. If you would like to write your own thoughts on the quote, please leave your link at Michelle's site so others can find you!