Tuesday, March 18, 2008

In Other Words--All By Myself

Apparently I am what you call a "typical" female---I like to chat over my problems with my friends. I like to have someone else's input into a situation, to see if there are sides to the problem I have not thought about, and to get another's stamp of approval on my plans. Conversation and validation are not just desires, they really are needs. And they are needs for most women. Many men, on the other hand, are much better at sorting problems on their own without chatting it over with anyone else.

The last couple of years have been somewhat of a struggle for me. Being "typical" I need to talk with friends. But the friends that I have shared the deepest parts of my heart with have all moved away. I've fought a deep lonliness of "needing" to share but not having anyone in physical proximity with whom to share (except German who is oh-so-grateful when I share with girlfriends and not him!).

So it is with a heart that is torn by being lonely and wanting a friend to hear my heart that I read this week's quote:
"No matter how many good friends I had, there were aspects of my life I needed to deal with alone-heart issues and attitudes that could not be wrestled with in a Bible study...They had to be confronted by the Holy Spirit in the privacy of my own soul."
~ "A Glimpse of Grace" by Mary Forsythe (with Beth Clark) ~

*sigh* It is true. Although I have struggled in a dearth of close companions, I have grown in an intimacy with God over the past two years that would not have happened in the presence of others. He has been the only One I could go to with my tears, cares and fears. He has graciously and persistently sought to break down the barriers that were keeping me from a deeper relationship with Him. He has exposed the ugliness of my heart that a friend would never have pointed out (at least not so undeniably) and then He has taken that ugliness and dealt with it. Sometimes it is in aloneness that we confront the most. I can't say that I like that reality, but I am grateful for the results of it in my life.

Lord, God, help me to see the seasons of aloneness to be a gift from you. Give me wisdom to use those times to grow in my relationship with you. May I find the trust and the companionship that I seek in Your arms. Amen.

Michelle at Because I Love You is the hostess this week for In Other Words. Please visit her site and be blessed. If you would like to write your own thoughts on the quote, please leave your link at Michelle's site so others can find you!


~V said...

"Sometimes it is in aloneness that we confront the most."

-How very very true.....(((Hugs)))

on a side note, I am so lucky to have had you to talk to about you know what...without you I'm not sure I could have made it thru. Thank you for your friendship

Denise said...

Thank you for sharing this, you have a beautiful heart.

twinklemom said...

What a very touching post...It's tough to feel like that but the blessing is that's when God swoops in and wraps His arms around us and reminds us...In Christ...we are never really alone.

Susan said...

Oh my, this was incredible, and so true.

Looks like the Lord has us in the same place these days.

I've moved 18 months ago, and I've missed my family and friends SO MUCH.

But now as I have turned to HIM, ahhh, how sweet these days are.

God uses every season in our lives, and He does make ALL things beautiful in HIS time.

Keep pressing in, He's there waiting for you♥

Tonya said...

Wow, looks like there are quite a few of us struggling with too much "quiet time." This is something I'm also dealing with.

I love what my friend Susan wrote above...

"God uses every season in our lives, and He does make ALL things beautiful in HIS time."

Maybe GOD us refining us as silver. HE's keeping us in the "fire" and working with us until HE sees HIS image in us? ;-)

Thanks for sharing your heart today!

Shari said...

I hadn't really thought of that before. There are things that friends wouldn't tell us about. And there are heart issues that they don't know about. It's good to have the Holy Spirit to point those out and to help us grow through them.

lori said...

You spoke my heart today...I too have had SEVERAL close friends move away and I had not thought about how THAT has moved me into a closer relationship with HIM....
wonderful thoughts...

Thank you for posting this...I'm beginning to see it!

Michelle Bentham said...

Truth, in small doses is always sweet. It sounds like you had some sweet revelation through your time of aloneness. I pray He continues to bless you in your journey. Thanks for joining in today! God Bless.

Robyn said...

I moved last year and left behind a very close friend. While e-mail and the phone are great, they are not the same as living close to a good friend. I do know some of what you are going through.

I am so sorry that you have been lonely but love your testimony of how God has used that to draw you into a deeper relationship with Him. I love it when HE does things like that!!

Tami Boesiger said...

I thank God for your alone time as it has drawn you closer to Him and forced you to rely solely on Him, but I pray this morning He brings you a friend, a piece of Him with skin on, as soon as He thinks you're ready.