Last January I wrote,
"... I read Falling Free by Shannan Martin about how they had
left their life of abundance for a life that was based on much less but
gave them so much more (my description here). I was challenged. I was
awe-struck. And that little voice that was telling me that I did not
care about 'more' got louder. It was not telling me to sell the house
and move somewhere else. It was telling me that maybe I could find
"more" in my life by dealing with a lot less.
Various things over the last two months have sung this song. Reminders
that stuff is not what makes anyone happy. Sermons reminding of caring
for the least of these. A Bible study of Proverbs that warns about
accepting wealth and status quo without balancing it with the wisdom of
God. By the middle of November I knew what my word for 2017 was to be,
and it was daunting. It was........LESS"
It was a daunting word, and I really did not know what would happen during the year. But I knew that it was a journey I had to start. Some of the dreams I had materialised. Others did not. Major changes happened that highlighted even more my desire for less. I came away changed, but maybe not as materially changed as I had hoped. Internally I am more minimal, and that is determining decisions and actions. It is a slow journey, but one that I will continue for a long time. Some of my dreams were:
"Less accumulation of paper and materials that are not needed." I did continue to digitilize a lot of paper and then get rid of it. I finished the early homeschool portfolios. I was not in a head space to deal with the last box of my mother's papers, so it still sits in my attic. My high school pictures are gone except for a few that were actually good or special. We did move this year, and it was a huge move. I moved less than it would have been two years before, but we still moved a lot of things that I have no reason to keep. So this is an ongoing battle.
" Less time spent worrying what others think of the life I am called to
live". I gave a lot less head space to worrying about this right up until we moved back to the US. So many people have questioned why we do things, or why I don't want to just do things the 'American way' that I've become paranoid and defensive. I need to get back to trusting God with the life he called me to lead and ignore the pundits.
"Less time doing things that do not build me up." I have read hard things this year that have made me think and grow. I've not read popular books that would not be good for me. I've stopped watching 'must-see' tv that was not healthy for me. And I've stopped apologizing for that. I'm happy with how this goal has proceeded.
"Less voiced negativity and more thankfulness need to be in my daily
conversations." In general, I do believe that some of the negativity has curbed. It has been a tough year. There is much in the world to be negative about--and finding ways to express disagreement without it only being perceived as negativity is tough. This is especially true when many of those around me do not agree with the stance I feel called to take. I am extremely grateful for the things God has done in our lives this year, for the places he has offered us protection and even for the conviction and dismay that accompanies confrontation of long-held prejudices and traditions. But it has been tough. I've said LESS than I would have liked in order to not be negative, and I'm not sure that has been totally healthy. I'll still work on this goal.
"Less half-hearted rituals and more focus on what God is saying." I cannot give examples of this, but I know that this is pruning that God has definitely started and continues in my life.
"Less unhealthy things entering my life. Whether it is junk food or junk
TV or toxic people, I want to be more diligent to let in healthy and
exclude the unhealthy." I've cut out almost all TV (except DIY or science shows for noise, and even the DIY shows make me get frustrated about topics of gentrification and privilege so they may go) and I have not missed it at all. For most of the year, junk food was cut out---then a move happened. I will get back to this. Recognizing toxic people has happened, but I am not always very good at protecting myself from their influence. More of this in 2018.
"Less holding on to people." Oh, this has been hard. Moving from England after sixteen+ years has been heart-wrenching. I miss my old life, my old friends, my old routines. But God has taught me immense trust in the last three months. I did not have any clue when I wrote this, how much this one would hurt.
My life in 2017 was filled with much MORE than I ever dreamed when I began a journey to LESS. I'm more content. I'm more self-aware and I'm more other-aware. It is a journey I'm not willing to end. It will continue to feed my focus for 2018. But, more on that later.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Friday, December 29, 2017
Book Review 2017
In 2017 I read (so far) 98 books, about half of which was reading for me and half of which was reading alongside home education of a kindergartner, eighth grader and sophomore. To say my reading is slightly varied is an understatement. At the end of the post is the full list of what I read. But, first, here are my top five, in no particular order.
*The Storied Life of A.J. Fikrey by Gabrielle Zevin made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time! Full of reminders of other books and characters that grew throughout the story. Loved it!
*Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans could have been written from glimpses of my growing up years. This book undid me, made me laugh, made me nod in agreement, made me angry and made me cry. An amazing reflection on what it meant to grow up evangelical and learning to make sense of it all. I'll read it again and again.
*The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas made me angry, made me sad and made me more aware. This is probably the most important book I've read in the last 3 years (at least). It highlights so much of what is wrong in our society but still manages to find hope. Recommended by my 15 year old daughter and must reading for teens and up.
*Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber was recommended on an edition of "What Should I Read Next" and intrigued me. The book surprised me in its writing, its depth and its sensitivity.
*Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston was a school book for my then Freshman which we read aloud together. Rich language, strong story and believable characters. I can't believe I waited so long to read it!
There you have it. My favorite books of the year. What have you read that I should add to my ever-growing To-Be-Read list. My goal for next year is another 100 books set in at least 40 countries. Do you have reading goals? Happy Reading!
The full list:
Reading for Me:
*The Storied Life of A.J. Fikrey by Gabrielle Zevin made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time! Full of reminders of other books and characters that grew throughout the story. Loved it!
*Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans could have been written from glimpses of my growing up years. This book undid me, made me laugh, made me nod in agreement, made me angry and made me cry. An amazing reflection on what it meant to grow up evangelical and learning to make sense of it all. I'll read it again and again.
*The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas made me angry, made me sad and made me more aware. This is probably the most important book I've read in the last 3 years (at least). It highlights so much of what is wrong in our society but still manages to find hope. Recommended by my 15 year old daughter and must reading for teens and up.
*Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber was recommended on an edition of "What Should I Read Next" and intrigued me. The book surprised me in its writing, its depth and its sensitivity.
*Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston was a school book for my then Freshman which we read aloud together. Rich language, strong story and believable characters. I can't believe I waited so long to read it!
There you have it. My favorite books of the year. What have you read that I should add to my ever-growing To-Be-Read list. My goal for next year is another 100 books set in at least 40 countries. Do you have reading goals? Happy Reading!
The full list:
Reading for Me:
The Undoing of Saint Silvanus by Moore, Beth
The Wedding Dress by Hauck, Rachel
Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens
of Personality Changes Everything by Bogel, Anne
The St. Louis 12 Days of Christmas by Nusbickel,
Ryan
Cloudy With A Chance Of Toasted Rav by Nusbickel,
Ryan
"Who Moved My Gooey Butter Cake?!" by Nusbickel,
Ryan
Surprised by Oxford by Weber, Carolyn
I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and
Courage in a Culture of Shame by Brown, Brené
The Night Parade by Tanquary, Kathryn
Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself by Alda,
Alan
Once Was a Time by Sales, Leila
Maude by Mabry, Donna
Give Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded
Kids One Book at a Time by Martin, Jamie C.
Flunked (Fairy Tale Reform School, #1) by Calonita,
Jen
Book Scavenger (Book Scavenger, #1) Bertman,
Jennifer Chambliss
The Hate U Give by Thomas, Angie
The Little School: Tales of Disappearance &
Survival in Argentina by Partnoy, Alicia
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One
Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes by Welch,
Kristen
Bringing it to the Table: On Farming and Food by Berry,
Wendell
March: Book Three (March, #3) by Lewis, John
Robert
We Should All Be Feminists by Adichie, Chimamanda
Ngozi
The Garden, the Curtain and the Cross by Laferton,
Carl
The Seventh Wish by Messner, Kate *
In the Land of Invisible Women: A Female Doctor's
Journey in the Saudi Kingdom by Ahmed, Qanta A.
The Broken Road: From the Iron Gates to Mount Athos
by Leigh Fermor, Patrick
The Case of the Girl in Grey (The Wollstonecraft
Detective Agency, #2) by Stratford, Jordan *
Mother-Daughter Book Camp (The Mother-Daughter
Book Club, #7) by Frederick, Heather Vogel
Gods in Alabama by Jackson, Joshilyn
Assimilate or Go Home: Notes from a Failed Missionary
on Rediscovering Faith by Mayfield, D. L.
Daddy-Long-Legs (Daddy-Long-Legs, #1) by Webster,
Jean
Winter Solstice by Pilcher, Rosamunde
Founding Mothers: The Women Who Raised Our Nation
by Roberts, Cokie
Ishtar's Odyssey: A Storybook for Advent by Ytreeide,
Arnold
El Deafo by Bell, Cece
Born with Teeth by Mulgrew, Kate
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Dunn, Mark
The Traveller's Tree: A Journey Through the Caribbean
Islands by Leigh Fermor, Patrick
My Name Is Lucy Barton by Strout, Elizabeth
Wonder by Palacio, R.J.
A Lucky Life Interrupted: A Memoir of Hope by Brokaw,
Tom
Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the
Church by Evans, Rachel Held
Five Children on the Western Front by Saunders,
Kate
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Zevin, Gabrielle
Mrs. Lincoln's Dressmaker by Chiaverini, Jennifer
Operation Thunderbolt: Flight 139 and the Raid on
Entebbe Airport, the Most Audacious Hostage Rescue Mission in History by David,
Saul
The Birth of the Modern: World Society 1815-1830
by Johnson, Paul
Galileo's Daughter: A Historical Memoir of Science,
Faith and Love by Sobel, Dava
Between Shades of Gray by Sepetys, Ruta
Kidnap in Crete: The True Story of the Abduction of a
Nazi General by Stroud, Rick
The Joy of X: A Guided Tour of Mathematics, from One
to Infinity by Strogatz, Steven H.
All Is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir by Manning,
Brennan
Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living
Intentionally in a Chaotic World by Oxenreider, Tsh
Coming Clean: A Story of Faith by Haines, Seth
Wild in the Hollow: On Chasing Desire and Finding the
Broken Way Home by Haines, Amber C.
Kindred by Butler, Octavia E.
The Princess Bride by Goldman, William
The African Trilogy by Achebe, Chinua
The Accident by Pavone, Chris
Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Rushdie, Salman
The 19th Wife by Ebershoff, David
Dubliners by Joyce, James
The Secret Scripture by Barry, Sebastian
Touch by Zentner, Alexi
The Book Thief by Zusak, Markus
As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of
The Princess Bride by Elwes, Cary
The Sacred Romance Drawing Closer To The Heart Of God
by Eldredge, John
Pies and Prejudice: In Search of the North by Maconie,
Stuart
Chronicle in Stone by Kadare, Ismail
Read Alouds or Read Ahead for School
Tadpoles and Frogs by Milbourne, Anna
Only the Names Remain: The Cherokees and The Trail of
Tears by Bealer, Alex W.
Eggs and Chicks by Patchett, Fiona
Adventures in Ancient Greece by Bailey, Linda
Here's a Penny by Haywood, Carolyn
Danny and the Dinosaur by Hoff, Syd
I Can Read It! (I Can Read It, #1) by Holzmann,
John
The Ghost in the Tokaido Inn (Samurai Detective,
#1) by Hoobler, Dorothy
Till We Have Faces by Lewis, C.S.
God spoke Tibetan; the epic story of the men who gave
the Bible to Tibet, the forbidden land by Maberly, Allan
Outliers: The Story of Success by Gladwell,
Malcolm
The Monk Who Shook the World: The Story of Martin
Luther by Davey, Cyril J.
The Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck, John
American Tall Tales by Productions, Greathall
101 Favorite Stories from the Bible by Miller, Ura
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Twain, Mark
A Grain of Rice by Pittman, Helena Clare
Mary Jones and Her Bible - An Adventure Book by Wright,
Chris
Winnie-the-Pooh by Milne, A.A.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Lee, Harper
100 Best-Loved Poems by Smith, Philip
A History of Us: Ten-Volume Set: Ten-Volume Set by
Hakim, Joy
Uncle Wiggily's Story Book by Garis, Howard R.
Classic Tales of Brer Rabbit by Borgenicht, David
The Second Mrs. Gioconda by Konigsburg, E.L.
Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the
World's Top Minds by Gallo, Carmine
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Hurston, Zora
Neale
A Single Shard by Park, Linda Sue
The Silver Branch by Sutcliff, Rosemary
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Back onto the Blogging Horse??
Obviously, I fell off the blogging wagon mid-year. In my defense, that was about the time we begin to realise that a move to the US was going to happen. But more than that, I just didn't have words that were not frustrated, political and not necessarily edifying.
We did make a move to the US in September. We are settling into our new home and routine. We are dealing with all kinds of re-entry culture shock. I'm still frustrated and political, but maybe I can be edifying in the midst of it. I miss writing. I miss the community of people who once blogged, and now do not. I don't know for certain if my new year will find me blogging, or tweeting, or maybe dipping my toes into instagram. I do know that I will be present somewhere.
For now, know that if you read this, I have missed you. I'll be back to do a recap of a year of LESS, and I'll be introducing my 2018 word as well. I'll be back with some goals, and maybe some progress. Maybe I'll even be able to articulate what sixteen years in Europe has done to me and for me. But, in Texas-words, I need to get back up on this horse and see where we go next.
Enjoy the end of your 2017. New things are in store for all of us in 2018.
We did make a move to the US in September. We are settling into our new home and routine. We are dealing with all kinds of re-entry culture shock. I'm still frustrated and political, but maybe I can be edifying in the midst of it. I miss writing. I miss the community of people who once blogged, and now do not. I don't know for certain if my new year will find me blogging, or tweeting, or maybe dipping my toes into instagram. I do know that I will be present somewhere.
For now, know that if you read this, I have missed you. I'll be back to do a recap of a year of LESS, and I'll be introducing my 2018 word as well. I'll be back with some goals, and maybe some progress. Maybe I'll even be able to articulate what sixteen years in Europe has done to me and for me. But, in Texas-words, I need to get back up on this horse and see where we go next.
Enjoy the end of your 2017. New things are in store for all of us in 2018.
Monday, May 01, 2017
Siesta Verse 9
Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in his holy house. God makes homes for the homeless, leads prisoners to freedom, but leaves rebels to rot in hell.
Psalm 68:5-6
The Message
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Siesta Verse 8
Into the hovels of the poor, Into the dark streets where the homeless groan, God speaks: “I’ve had enough; I’m on my way To heal the ache in the heart of the wretched.”
Psalm 12:5
The Message
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Making More from Less
German is a self-confessed packrat. He doesn't easily let go of things. He collects many things. So after working for one company for 18 years, he had accumulated some things from work. Some of those things were t-shirts. This company did a lot in the community--and each project came with its own t-shirt. Over fifty of them, if one was counting. I finally took those t-shirts that were taking up space in a spare wardrobe and did something with them.
So now, we have one double-sided quilt full of memories. And a lot less in the closet. Win-win.
So now, we have one double-sided quilt full of memories. And a lot less in the closet. Win-win.
Sunday, April 02, 2017
Siesta Verse 6 (oops) and Verse 7
Totally forgot to post verse 6
My new verse is:
I am God.
At the right time I’ll make it happen.
At the right time I’ll make it happen.
Isaiah 60:22b (The Message)
My new verse is:
But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Forgive my hidden faults.
Psalm 19:12 (NIV)
Saturday, April 01, 2017
April Goal Post
In March I wrote:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge. (3 school-related books, 6 non-school books, 6 countries-UK, US, Nigeria, Bulgaria/Romania/Turkey/Greece, a Fantasy location and Ireland, 8 reading challenge prompts)
2. Blog 5 times--oops
3. Finish stitching the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and begin stitching the Romania block--yes
4. Start baby quilt when materials arrive--not yet (wrong material arrived, came whilst I was out of town)
5. Complete 1/3 of hand quilting on t-shirt quilt (will be at 2/3 complete)--I'm at 80%, desperate to just finish it
6. Organise bottom drawer of file cabinet, disposing of as much paper as possible (housing history, warranty and instruction books, etc)--didn't even touch it
For April
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Start baby quilt
4. Complete t-shirt quilt
5. Enjoy some down time with family for Easter break
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge. (3 school-related books, 6 non-school books, 6 countries-UK, US, Nigeria, Bulgaria/Romania/Turkey/Greece, a Fantasy location and Ireland, 8 reading challenge prompts)
2. Blog 5 times--oops
3. Finish stitching the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and begin stitching the Romania block--yes
4. Start baby quilt when materials arrive--not yet (wrong material arrived, came whilst I was out of town)
5. Complete 1/3 of hand quilting on t-shirt quilt (will be at 2/3 complete)--I'm at 80%, desperate to just finish it
6. Organise bottom drawer of file cabinet, disposing of as much paper as possible (housing history, warranty and instruction books, etc)--didn't even touch it
For April
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Start baby quilt
4. Complete t-shirt quilt
5. Enjoy some down time with family for Easter break
Friday, March 31, 2017
Coming Full Circle
Those of you who have followed me for a while know that we, as a family, went through a very difficult time as things fell apart at a previous church. It was a defining moment in my life, so I wanted to give you an update of how it ended.
I had come to the point that there were friendships that were over and I would never find the reconciliation that my heart so desired. I had forgiven..and then been bitter again..and forgiven again and again and again. I knew that God had worked much healing in my heart, but it was altered and it still hurt.
One early morning I got out of bed, checked email as I do every morning. This particular morning there was an email from the person I had most grieved losing. It was addressed to German (we share an email address) and he was traveling. As soon as he was awake, I texted him to "CHECK OUR EMAIL" and yes I did use all caps because it was important. This particular email began (in essence), "I regret how I mishandled our friendship and want to know if you could forgive me." German sent an immediate answer that said, "I'm traveling and can't answer much now but thank you for saying that and yes already forgiven." German and I cried together, rejoiced together and then sent an email that showed how God how worked in spite of how devastated we felt. We did not hide how much we hurt, but we rejoiced at a second chance. After an exchange of several emails, the relationship was really beginning to renew.
We have not been able to renew the friendship face-to-face. Distance has happened. And yes, it is altered because we missed six years of each other's life. But the empty hole is no longer there.
I tell you this, not to brag on us or him, but to celebrate what God can and does do. It would not have been possible to so readily say "Yes, forgiven" if we had not allowed God to prune and minister and challenge and comfort our hearts during those six years. God had already helped us forgive. And he did that when we could see no hope of ever reaching reconciliation. If you are in a place that has been deeply hurt by others, please, please, please don't turn to bitterness. Keep giving it to God. Keep asking for him to allow forgiveness to rule. He will honour that. And, if the opportunity for reconciliation arises, you will be ready because you will have already forgiven.
We are working toward a plan for face-to-face meeting. If you do the math you will see that these sweet friends have never even met our third child. They were so important to our girls in the early years, and I desperately want them to meet Tree. It will be sweet, because it comes after such a desert time. I am hopeful.
Be encouraged. Forgiveness is sweet.
I had come to the point that there were friendships that were over and I would never find the reconciliation that my heart so desired. I had forgiven..and then been bitter again..and forgiven again and again and again. I knew that God had worked much healing in my heart, but it was altered and it still hurt.
One early morning I got out of bed, checked email as I do every morning. This particular morning there was an email from the person I had most grieved losing. It was addressed to German (we share an email address) and he was traveling. As soon as he was awake, I texted him to "CHECK OUR EMAIL" and yes I did use all caps because it was important. This particular email began (in essence), "I regret how I mishandled our friendship and want to know if you could forgive me." German sent an immediate answer that said, "I'm traveling and can't answer much now but thank you for saying that and yes already forgiven." German and I cried together, rejoiced together and then sent an email that showed how God how worked in spite of how devastated we felt. We did not hide how much we hurt, but we rejoiced at a second chance. After an exchange of several emails, the relationship was really beginning to renew.
We have not been able to renew the friendship face-to-face. Distance has happened. And yes, it is altered because we missed six years of each other's life. But the empty hole is no longer there.
I tell you this, not to brag on us or him, but to celebrate what God can and does do. It would not have been possible to so readily say "Yes, forgiven" if we had not allowed God to prune and minister and challenge and comfort our hearts during those six years. God had already helped us forgive. And he did that when we could see no hope of ever reaching reconciliation. If you are in a place that has been deeply hurt by others, please, please, please don't turn to bitterness. Keep giving it to God. Keep asking for him to allow forgiveness to rule. He will honour that. And, if the opportunity for reconciliation arises, you will be ready because you will have already forgiven.
We are working toward a plan for face-to-face meeting. If you do the math you will see that these sweet friends have never even met our third child. They were so important to our girls in the early years, and I desperately want them to meet Tree. It will be sweet, because it comes after such a desert time. I am hopeful.
Be encouraged. Forgiveness is sweet.
Thursday, March 02, 2017
March Goals
In February I wrote:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries that are not England or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge. (Six books, 4 not school related, set in US, Ireland, South Korea, Scotland, Canada and Germany, meeting 5 prompts)
2. Blog 5 times (only 4 published, somehow forgot to publish one that is written and you will see soon)
3. Stitch the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin (about 95%)
4. Plan baby quilt and gather materials (planned, waiting for materials; but whilst I wait I finished 1/3 of the handquilting on another quilt)
5. Finish scanning Jewel's school portfolios from Germany and scan Flower's as well (done)
Goals for March:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Finish stitching the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and begin stitching the Romania block
4. Start baby quilt when materials arrive
5. Complete 1/3 of hand quilting on t-shirt quilt (will be at 2/3 complete)
6. Organise bottom drawer of file cabinet, disposing of as much paper as possible (housing history, warranty and instruction books, etc)
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries that are not England or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge. (Six books, 4 not school related, set in US, Ireland, South Korea, Scotland, Canada and Germany, meeting 5 prompts)
2. Blog 5 times (only 4 published, somehow forgot to publish one that is written and you will see soon)
3. Stitch the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin (about 95%)
4. Plan baby quilt and gather materials (planned, waiting for materials; but whilst I wait I finished 1/3 of the handquilting on another quilt)
5. Finish scanning Jewel's school portfolios from Germany and scan Flower's as well (done)
Goals for March:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries not yet read this year, and that meet at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Finish stitching the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and begin stitching the Romania block
4. Start baby quilt when materials arrive
5. Complete 1/3 of hand quilting on t-shirt quilt (will be at 2/3 complete)
6. Organise bottom drawer of file cabinet, disposing of as much paper as possible (housing history, warranty and instruction books, etc)
Siesta Verse 5
My first verse for March is 2 Timothy 1:7, memorizing in the NIV:
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Siesta Verse 4
My second verse in February:
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
Psalm 84:5
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Don't set Limitations
I remember it clearly. I was maybe eight years old and my parents were going away for a few days. My brother and I were to stay with grandparents. For some reason, my Mom was worried about her house plants getting watered. One of the instructions she gave was, "Let (brother) water the plants, Mipa tends to kill them." I don't remember ever having killed a plant before that day. However, the reality was now firmly planted. I could not grow houseplants.
Fast forward to the summer between my Junior and Senior year of college. My roommate was going to Europe to hike across it with her fiance. I was staying in our house for the summer, taking a couple of summer courses. So she, naturally, asked me to take care of her African violets. The African violets that her fiance gave her when he proposed. Her precious African violets. I remember a feeling of panic that "I kill plants," even as I smiled and said of course. I was terrified that summer that I would kill the plants, but I didn't. They thrived. It should have been a lesson to my pre-twenty self that I didn't kill plants, but instead I thought it was a fluke.
For years I avoided house plants, knowing that I was the curse of death. But a friend gave me one when we lived in Germany, and it lived. In spite of being put in a box and transported across multiple country borders, it lived. Then we moved into this house three years ago. Our landlord left a beautiful orchid to welcome us into our new home. I, of course, expected to kill it. But I did not. It bloomed again...and again....and again. In fact, sometime this week it should burst into bloom for the fifth time since we moved. I have finally realised, I don't kill plants.
I don't know why my mother said that. Maybe I had, as a child, over watered or under watered something. Maybe it was a throw-aside comment that was a joke. I honestly cannot tell you. What I do know is that for years it dictated something I believed about myself. Something trivial, but something that was deep in my perception of who I was. And it was totally false.
As I watched the buds come on my orchid, I was thinking about how easy it is to set limitations that become part of who a person is. One of my children struggles with math. Saying math is not her thing actually sets an expectation that she approaches math with dread that she will not be able to do it. Back in college, when discussing language courses, my friend the Russian major made a joke that of course I didn't like languages, I didn't even do English well (making fun of my Texas country accent more than my use of language). I knew it was a joke. I knew that it was not true, after all I had been one of forty students hand-picked to help teach writing out of the school. But I still hear that "joke" when I'm writing and wonder if I have any right to be writing. It is easy to set limitations. I am determined that I will be more diligent in not setting limitations on what others believe they can do with any careless words that might come from my mouth. I don't want to have been the source of such self-criticism.
Fast forward to the summer between my Junior and Senior year of college. My roommate was going to Europe to hike across it with her fiance. I was staying in our house for the summer, taking a couple of summer courses. So she, naturally, asked me to take care of her African violets. The African violets that her fiance gave her when he proposed. Her precious African violets. I remember a feeling of panic that "I kill plants," even as I smiled and said of course. I was terrified that summer that I would kill the plants, but I didn't. They thrived. It should have been a lesson to my pre-twenty self that I didn't kill plants, but instead I thought it was a fluke.
For years I avoided house plants, knowing that I was the curse of death. But a friend gave me one when we lived in Germany, and it lived. In spite of being put in a box and transported across multiple country borders, it lived. Then we moved into this house three years ago. Our landlord left a beautiful orchid to welcome us into our new home. I, of course, expected to kill it. But I did not. It bloomed again...and again....and again. In fact, sometime this week it should burst into bloom for the fifth time since we moved. I have finally realised, I don't kill plants.
I don't know why my mother said that. Maybe I had, as a child, over watered or under watered something. Maybe it was a throw-aside comment that was a joke. I honestly cannot tell you. What I do know is that for years it dictated something I believed about myself. Something trivial, but something that was deep in my perception of who I was. And it was totally false.
As I watched the buds come on my orchid, I was thinking about how easy it is to set limitations that become part of who a person is. One of my children struggles with math. Saying math is not her thing actually sets an expectation that she approaches math with dread that she will not be able to do it. Back in college, when discussing language courses, my friend the Russian major made a joke that of course I didn't like languages, I didn't even do English well (making fun of my Texas country accent more than my use of language). I knew it was a joke. I knew that it was not true, after all I had been one of forty students hand-picked to help teach writing out of the school. But I still hear that "joke" when I'm writing and wonder if I have any right to be writing. It is easy to set limitations. I am determined that I will be more diligent in not setting limitations on what others believe they can do with any careless words that might come from my mouth. I don't want to have been the source of such self-criticism.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24
Father help me to use words that expand someone's horizons, not limit their perception. Help my words be healing and encouraging. And when I have set limits on a person's soul, send others to show a better way. Amen.
Friday, February 10, 2017
February goals
Okay, it is a third of the way through February and I'm already failing at goal review. *sigh* Too bad living life gets in the way of writing things down!
In January my goals were:
1. Read 4 books that are not school related, set in at least one country that is not UK or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.--read 7 books set in UK-England (3), US (3), Albania (1), and met 5 prompts on reading challenge
2. Blog 5 times--only 4 (I even forgot to post verse 2!)
3. Finish stitching A Mind Independent and Free--yes!
4. Plan out Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and gather materials--yes!
5. Scan Jewel's school portfolios from Germany--about 2/3 complete--she had more than I knew, I thought it was 2 binders not 2 binders and 15 notebooks! There will be much LESS paper when we are finished recycling it all!
For February my goals are:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries that are not England or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Stitch the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin
4. Plan baby quilt and gather materials
5. Finish scanning Jewel's school portfolios from Germany and scan Flower's as well
In January my goals were:
1. Read 4 books that are not school related, set in at least one country that is not UK or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.--read 7 books set in UK-England (3), US (3), Albania (1), and met 5 prompts on reading challenge
2. Blog 5 times--only 4 (I even forgot to post verse 2!)
3. Finish stitching A Mind Independent and Free--yes!
4. Plan out Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and gather materials--yes!
5. Scan Jewel's school portfolios from Germany--about 2/3 complete--she had more than I knew, I thought it was 2 binders not 2 binders and 15 notebooks! There will be much LESS paper when we are finished recycling it all!
For February my goals are:
1. Read 4 more books that are not school related, set in at least three countries that are not England or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Stitch the Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin
4. Plan baby quilt and gather materials
5. Finish scanning Jewel's school portfolios from Germany and scan Flower's as well
Siesta Verse Three
My first verse in February is Acts 2:28, memorising in the NIV:
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.’
you will fill me with joy in your presence.’
Monday, January 30, 2017
I don't mean to be silent. There are millions of thoughts in my head that are making it to paper and into conversations with my girls. But, I have always wanted this to be a place of refuge and encouragement. I have never wanted to have a political blog. And if I were to voice so much of what is my head right now, this would be a political blog.
Back in November 2015, Ann Voskamp wrote in her blog, something that her husband had said during harvest that has stayed we with me,
"I don't know what to think---so maybe I just thank."
So, since I can't find anything else to say in terms of what I think, here are some things I'm grateful for today:
*a family that is healthy and safe and together
*an adopted home that we immigrated to 16 years ago
*friends who love us in spite of a prevailing attitude that immigrants are not welcome
*work that more than adequately meets our needs
*clean water
*freedom to choose where we will go to church
*excitement that as a church we can plant a new fellowship in another area of town without conflict
*joy in watching Tree learn to read. Knowing that I am teaching him that
*opportunities for the girls to develop their leadership skills
*travel that is expanding my horizons
*Comfort in Knowing God is Sovereign!
I don't necessarily know what to think as I watch news. My heart breaks at situations and divisiveness. But God has not forsaken his throne. He is not surprised and He will not be defeated by any darkness I see. So I will take Hope in that. And I will continue to give him Praise for the things He has allowed to me.
I needed the reminder today. Wanted to share!
Back in November 2015, Ann Voskamp wrote in her blog, something that her husband had said during harvest that has stayed we with me,
"I don't know what to think---so maybe I just thank."
So, since I can't find anything else to say in terms of what I think, here are some things I'm grateful for today:
*a family that is healthy and safe and together
*an adopted home that we immigrated to 16 years ago
*friends who love us in spite of a prevailing attitude that immigrants are not welcome
*work that more than adequately meets our needs
*clean water
*freedom to choose where we will go to church
*excitement that as a church we can plant a new fellowship in another area of town without conflict
*joy in watching Tree learn to read. Knowing that I am teaching him that
*opportunities for the girls to develop their leadership skills
*travel that is expanding my horizons
*Comfort in Knowing God is Sovereign!
I don't necessarily know what to think as I watch news. My heart breaks at situations and divisiveness. But God has not forsaken his throne. He is not surprised and He will not be defeated by any darkness I see. So I will take Hope in that. And I will continue to give him Praise for the things He has allowed to me.
I needed the reminder today. Wanted to share!
Monday, January 02, 2017
Searching for Less
Our world reminds us constantly that we should be on the lookout for "more." More time, more money, more popularity, more friends, more comments. More, more, more. At some point last year I began to ask myself if I really cared about more of anything. I began to realize that I did not. What I really wanted was the opposite.
Then, I read Falling Free by Shannan Martin about how they had left their life of abundance for a life that was based on much less but gave them so much more (my description here). I was challenged. I was awe-struck. And that little voice that was telling me that I did not care about 'more' got louder. It was not telling me to sell the house and move somewhere else. It was telling me that maybe I could find "more" in my life by dealing with a lot less.
Various things over the last two months have sung this song. Reminders that stuff is not what makes anyone happy. Sermons reminding of caring for the least of these. A Bible study of Proverbs that warns about accepting wealth and status quo without balancing it with the wisdom of God. By the middle of November I knew what my word for 2017 was to be, and it was daunting. It was........
Now before you get concerned, it does not mean leaving the house or the life that God has clearly blessed us with at this time. It is about depending more on Him and less on stuff or others. As always, I find it difficult to articulate what the word for the year resounds in my heart. I just know that it is echoing in deep places where God wants to work. But some of what I hope to see in 2017 is this:
*Less accumulation of paper and materials that are not needed. In some cases, this is my continuing efforts to digitalize some things and let go of the paper. Last year it was all of my university notebooks (most just shredded, some digitalized before shredding). This year it is the early portfolios from homeschooling, a box of my mother's papers that I have not wanted to deal with, and a last box of pictures (from my high school days) that need to be sorted and digitialize anything worth keeping. One of my realizations is that we move too much stuff that is just sitting in boxes. If it is not important enough to get out of the boxes when we move, maybe I don't need it. If it is the memory it evokes, that can be pictured and carried on a disk. God will call us to move again someday, and I want less stuff to carry with me when he calls.
*Less time spent worrying what others think of the life I am called to live. Yes, that is as self-centered as it sounds. I spend way too much time worrying how others will accept my choices to home educate, to not have a car, to wear what I wear, to set the limits I set for my kids. The truth is, most people truly don't care. And if they do care, I think it is their issue not mine. I know that I do not spend anytime criticizing my friends who do things differently than I do. It is their life and their calling, not mine. So why do I give so much thought-space to what others think? I want to give this less thought space.
*Less time doing things that do not build me up. I discovered long ago that there are certain television programs that are not good for me to watch as they will invade my dreams and take away rest. I have been realizing that there is more to this concept for me than I have given credence. There are shows (mostly reality-type shows) that only serve to make me feel dissatisfied with what I have. There are shows that, although I have tried to overlook it, the language bothers me to the extent that it makes me restless. There are things that others can watch for a "mindless past time" that are anything but mindless to me. Thus, I have been cutting those things out of my life. I want that to continue. This is also true of reading. I enjoy reading a wide array of genres and authors, but I am beginning to recognize that there are some I just need to walk away and leave on the nightstand or in the library. Ironically, I also have more books on my to-be-read list that are tough subjects, even subjects that I don't agree with the subject matter, that remind me that we live in a fallen world and that I need to be showing that world Jesus. So it is not avoiding things that make me think, but avoiding things that make me think of only myself and not look out to others.
*Less voiced negativity and more thankfulness need to be in my daily conversations. One of my friends posted something recently about no longer apologising for some things but instead voicing gratitude (e.g. not "I'm sorry I was late," but "thank you for waiting, it means a lot to me"). That made me think that often I choose to voice the negative rather than look for a way to be grateful. I'm going to try to be less verbal with negative this year. Maybe that will help my teens who have their mother's fluency in sarcasm to also be less negative.
*Less half-hearted rituals and more focus on what God is saying. It is so easy to tick the box of a quiet time, a prayer time, leading a study or helping with a ministry. It is more difficult to use those activities to truly connect with God and focus on the changes that need to be made. I want the latter not the former.
*Less unhealthy things entering my life. Whether it is junk food or junk TV or toxic people, I want to be more diligent to let in healthy and exclude the unhealthy.
*Less holding on to people. This has never been an issue for me, since we have been the ones leaving so much. I've always had to hold people loosely. But we have been here for long enough that I begin to think in terms of "I don't know what I'd do without (___)." That shows the depths of some relationships. But it also has the focus on the person, not on God. This year, our church will plant a new church and about 100 people will go to the plant. We are not going, at this point. We feel as a family that there is more we can offer at Central than we can offer to the plant. But, some dear friends are going. And that makes me sad. I am also excited for them. In the bittersweet, I find that I am in a place that I need to hold people lightly trusting God to move them, and me, where we all can best serve. I need to celebrate and enjoy every moment I have with people, but not feel so dependent that it leaves trust out of the picture.
So, there it is. My word for 2017: less. My girls have announced that it is not as exciting as last year's word. They are dubious of some of the things that I see the need to focus. But I know that God has places he wants to clean out. I know that there are things I need to let go of in order to hold onto him more. I'm willing to take that risk. We'll see where it has led me in 365 days. Let's go.
Then, I read Falling Free by Shannan Martin about how they had left their life of abundance for a life that was based on much less but gave them so much more (my description here). I was challenged. I was awe-struck. And that little voice that was telling me that I did not care about 'more' got louder. It was not telling me to sell the house and move somewhere else. It was telling me that maybe I could find "more" in my life by dealing with a lot less.
Various things over the last two months have sung this song. Reminders that stuff is not what makes anyone happy. Sermons reminding of caring for the least of these. A Bible study of Proverbs that warns about accepting wealth and status quo without balancing it with the wisdom of God. By the middle of November I knew what my word for 2017 was to be, and it was daunting. It was........
LESS
Now before you get concerned, it does not mean leaving the house or the life that God has clearly blessed us with at this time. It is about depending more on Him and less on stuff or others. As always, I find it difficult to articulate what the word for the year resounds in my heart. I just know that it is echoing in deep places where God wants to work. But some of what I hope to see in 2017 is this:
*Less accumulation of paper and materials that are not needed. In some cases, this is my continuing efforts to digitalize some things and let go of the paper. Last year it was all of my university notebooks (most just shredded, some digitalized before shredding). This year it is the early portfolios from homeschooling, a box of my mother's papers that I have not wanted to deal with, and a last box of pictures (from my high school days) that need to be sorted and digitialize anything worth keeping. One of my realizations is that we move too much stuff that is just sitting in boxes. If it is not important enough to get out of the boxes when we move, maybe I don't need it. If it is the memory it evokes, that can be pictured and carried on a disk. God will call us to move again someday, and I want less stuff to carry with me when he calls.
*Less time spent worrying what others think of the life I am called to live. Yes, that is as self-centered as it sounds. I spend way too much time worrying how others will accept my choices to home educate, to not have a car, to wear what I wear, to set the limits I set for my kids. The truth is, most people truly don't care. And if they do care, I think it is their issue not mine. I know that I do not spend anytime criticizing my friends who do things differently than I do. It is their life and their calling, not mine. So why do I give so much thought-space to what others think? I want to give this less thought space.
*Less time doing things that do not build me up. I discovered long ago that there are certain television programs that are not good for me to watch as they will invade my dreams and take away rest. I have been realizing that there is more to this concept for me than I have given credence. There are shows (mostly reality-type shows) that only serve to make me feel dissatisfied with what I have. There are shows that, although I have tried to overlook it, the language bothers me to the extent that it makes me restless. There are things that others can watch for a "mindless past time" that are anything but mindless to me. Thus, I have been cutting those things out of my life. I want that to continue. This is also true of reading. I enjoy reading a wide array of genres and authors, but I am beginning to recognize that there are some I just need to walk away and leave on the nightstand or in the library. Ironically, I also have more books on my to-be-read list that are tough subjects, even subjects that I don't agree with the subject matter, that remind me that we live in a fallen world and that I need to be showing that world Jesus. So it is not avoiding things that make me think, but avoiding things that make me think of only myself and not look out to others.
*Less voiced negativity and more thankfulness need to be in my daily conversations. One of my friends posted something recently about no longer apologising for some things but instead voicing gratitude (e.g. not "I'm sorry I was late," but "thank you for waiting, it means a lot to me"). That made me think that often I choose to voice the negative rather than look for a way to be grateful. I'm going to try to be less verbal with negative this year. Maybe that will help my teens who have their mother's fluency in sarcasm to also be less negative.
*Less half-hearted rituals and more focus on what God is saying. It is so easy to tick the box of a quiet time, a prayer time, leading a study or helping with a ministry. It is more difficult to use those activities to truly connect with God and focus on the changes that need to be made. I want the latter not the former.
*Less unhealthy things entering my life. Whether it is junk food or junk TV or toxic people, I want to be more diligent to let in healthy and exclude the unhealthy.
*Less holding on to people. This has never been an issue for me, since we have been the ones leaving so much. I've always had to hold people loosely. But we have been here for long enough that I begin to think in terms of "I don't know what I'd do without (___)." That shows the depths of some relationships. But it also has the focus on the person, not on God. This year, our church will plant a new church and about 100 people will go to the plant. We are not going, at this point. We feel as a family that there is more we can offer at Central than we can offer to the plant. But, some dear friends are going. And that makes me sad. I am also excited for them. In the bittersweet, I find that I am in a place that I need to hold people lightly trusting God to move them, and me, where we all can best serve. I need to celebrate and enjoy every moment I have with people, but not feel so dependent that it leaves trust out of the picture.
So, there it is. My word for 2017: less. My girls have announced that it is not as exciting as last year's word. They are dubious of some of the things that I see the need to focus. But I know that God has places he wants to clean out. I know that there are things I need to let go of in order to hold onto him more. I'm willing to take that risk. We'll see where it has led me in 365 days. Let's go.
January Goals
Last January I wrote,
"One thing I know about myself, if I really want to take a goal seriously, I need to write it down. And if I doubly want to take it seriously, I need to publish it. I like to reach goals. I like to mark things off my list. And it encourages me, rather than discourages me. So, I once again begin the year with a review of my master 2015 list and my January goals."And the truth of that statement is immense. I did not post goals (or anything) after March. And so when I went to do a goal review, I could not even find my master list for 2016. It is here, but I don't know where. I do know that I did not lose the weight I wanted to lose, or memorize all the verses I wanted to memorize, or blog nearly enough. I did finish two largish cross-stitch project, but not the largest two that have been going the longest. I read 100 books, but that was due to the accountability of keeping up with them online at Goodreads. So, clearly, posting goals helps keep me on task. To that end I am posting both my January goals and my master list for 2017 so that next year I have no excuse!
January:
1. Read 4 books that are not school related, set in at least one country that is not UK or US, and that meets at least 3 prompts on my reading challenge.
2. Blog 5 times
3. Finish stitching A Mind Independent and Free
4. Plan out Australia block for Neighbourhood Round Robin and gather materials
5. Scan Jewel's school portfolios from Germany
Master 2017 list:
Books: Read 100 books (including those used for school)
Read books set in at least 30 distinct countries
Complete PopSugar Reading Challenge and Advanced Challenge (52 books)
Cross-Stitch/Quilting: Complete stitching A Mind Independent and Free
Complete Neighbourhood Round Robin 2
Complete Bride's Tree Ornament sets
Start/Finish Autumn and Spring Garden
Participate in Ornament Exchange
Stitch Ornaments for each of the children
Make baby quilt for godson and his wife (June)
Organise and participate in Round Robin with CSC
Other: Eat healthy and lose some weight
Blog 3x per month minimum
Memorize 24 verses
Decrease paperwork saved in household by 50%
Sunday, January 01, 2017
Siesta Memory Verse #1
Joining up again this year at Living Proof Ministries for their Scripture Memory Encouragement and Accountability. My first verse this year is actually two verses that have spoke to me as I study Beth Moore's Daniel study.
In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets---some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.
2 Timothy 2:20-21 (The Message)
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